Help a homie out today! bite his boobs off!
Won't tell you which camp I fall in.
Coward. You're on Tumblr we know the answer
if i was famous id make it my hobby to search for every celebrity x reader about me just so i could comment “i wouldnt do that.”
I find it interesting that the mouth salivates both when we’re hungry and when we’re nauseous. It doesn’t matter if stuff is coming in or out, our throat is like okay boys time to lube up the tunnel
So I go to the dentist and the appointment I had was not the appointment that I thought I was going to have (normal maintenance vs deep clean) so i warned the dentist "hey heads up I burn through dental anesthetics super quick and also I'd like to use as little as possible because putting the dental anesthetics in my body is the most painful part of the process unless I'm having a root canal or something" and she's like "Hmm. Okay. Is it just the injection site?" and I was like "no, it will feel like burning on the opposite side of my face and in my nose and eyes and stuff." And she was like "Hmm. Do you turn really red when this happens?" And I was like "I don't know, I can't really see myself when it happens." And she was like "are you willing to experiment with this a little?" And I was like "sure, no worries" and she injected me with one anesthetic and it hurt like a motherfucker and she and the assistant both went "OOOH" and she was like "Yeah you got really red right away let's try the other," and it was the same thing and then she was like "okay I think this is the one that will work" and it hurt a little bit but it was fucking NOTHING compared to the comprehensive full stabbing burning facial pain from the others and long story short the dentist was like "You're reacting to the epinephrine in these other anesthetics," which I guess is fairly common for people who have autoimmune disorders.
So I guess this is to say: If you get spreading, burning, stabbing pain when you are being injected with local anesthetics it's not supposed to do that and you should say something.
Pumpkin garden
If these all fell on you…. you… you’d….. get squashed……….
Anonymous asked:
whyd you decide to go with "the chaser" as ur whole thing? just a fondness for alchohol, or an inside joke, or smth else entirely? sorry if im bothering you
Glad you asked! We named our newspaper while being chased by a bear
Judging by the number of hirsute men in our inbox, it appears "chased by a bear" means something very different on this platform
I wonder why I have all these notes...
YOU!
i love you ciabatta i love you brioche i love you focaccia i love you challah i love you sourdough i love you rye i love you multigrain i love you bagel i love you pita i love you pretzel bun i love you baguette i love you english muffin i love you naan
i see your “Crowley has a kink about watching Aziraphale eat” and raise you “it’s literally his profession he is the snake from the garden of Eden his entire thing is watching people eat shit that’ll piss off God”.
i want art to feel EARNEST. this disgusting, near pornographic level of tongue in cheek meta humor is making me sick to my stomach. i don’t know how many more movies i can take about clever subversions and the movie winking at you to say “we know it’s a little silly, but…” where is the whimsy? why can’t we believe in the pretend you’ve created? why don’t you have enough faith in it? in my ability to believe?
Anonymous asked:
no one wants to fuck you because you’re mean and strange
Wait hold up this is awesome. So not because I'm ugly?
the way people talk about nudity is insane to me. the fuck do you mean nudity is “depraved” friend we were all born naked.
damn what added stat bonuses does this guy have