I keep trying to find ways to curb the inevitable depression that's gonna hit me and I don't know whether or not just to accept it or to continue to keep ignoring it. HATE Covina. I think I expect too much of my life right now like im so young I cant really have THAT much going on especially with my very limited amount of friends and I want a gf and UGH
I have crippling self doubt that will utterly destroy me unless I do something about it
Another thing. I am seriously so JACKED. it's crazy. My mom sat me down for a serious talk asking if I'm using steroids I shit you not. She was being deadass serious lol. Also if you would have asked me two months ago if I still loved Becky it'd be a strong yes. But.now. oh now I have ZERO feelings haha it's honestly so great! Like she used to mentally hold me back but now I'm so happy and so free and god I'm just so happy! I'm getting my resume fixed up all nice and I'm prepared for my permit test and I'm GOING to get a job. Lifess good man. Even if it goes to shit I'm ready.
I think the biggest reason that I’m quiet most of the time is I already know my own thoughts. I want to hear new ones. I don’t want to talk, I just want to listen (and hopefully learn)
Yes! I love learning about people.
I b catching the feelings for a close friend and I'm scared to act on it even though she's showing multiple signs that she's into me and idk. I mean she just got out of a looooong relationship. Life's crazy. If I end up dating her I'll.update. for myself lol. She's so fucking great tho. She's gorgeous and funny and petite and so mature and nice. I think if anything this will take some time. I'm okay with that. If I'm gonna date her I want to date her for a good while and have it be mature. If nothing happens and I don't ever date her that's okay too and I gotta remember that. Life doesn't always give you what you want but I'll figure it out and be happy regardless. I've also made SO many.more friends.and I'm growing closer to all of them.slowly but steadily and god. I'm so content with my life. I just need to get on my own ass about a job and my.permit. it's annoying because I'm 100% capable of driving but I don't even have my permit. I'll probably come back in a few.months to see how far I've come as a person and to look back. I'm glad I chose my best friend over Becky. I saw myself growing one way with her and another with becky and when it came down to it that was the driving force of me breaking up with her. I knew I would be happier with Jace and I didn't like who I was with becky. I was emotionally dead and I didn't care about thing I should have. But now I'm different. Now I'm changed. I'm always changing and I'm going to always strive to live my life to the fullest with all of my friends and I've never been so excited for life. New chapters are opening up and ivw never been more ready. Also I'm doing really well in college. Grades are good