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skrraaagoooZzz

@broodjehamsalam

Broodje/22/wacky little guy I post gross stuff sometimes, considering yourself tw'd I'm forklift certified IRL
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Homophobes: *try to destroy rainbow statue*

Gays: “fine then we’ll make it an actual damn rainbow”

Reblog to put indestructible rainbows everywhere and kill a homophobe

I hope the recent wave of anti monarchism extends everywhere and not just England btw. Spain still has monarchs who do jack shit. Belgium too. And many other European countries that have blood all over the branches of their family tree.

Eviscerate them all. Feed the masses with their blood. Distribute the wealth to the whole country and break the crown to give its blood jewels back to the countries they exploited to get them.

I'm very supportive of this, but also worried that instead of re-distributing the money that we'll save when the royals fuck off, it will just go to the prime minister so they can have bigger house and more domestic servants.

List of United States Senators Who Can Recognize Both F1nnster And Bell Delphine By Sight.

Me: Senator, do you recognize any of the individuals in this image?

Senator: "no"

Government Oracle wearing a gas mask full of the ideal ratio of air and holy methane fumes: "False."

here's the thing about "aggressive" spiders

if a spider is running right at you, it's not trying to pick a fight with an animal thousands of times its size. you're so big that it didn't recognize you as an animal at all. it thought you were part of the landscape and it's trying to either take shelter or get to higher ground. if you don't want it crawling on you just kinda stomp on the floor so it can realize you're not stable ground and fuck off

like imagine if you went to climb a tree or perhaps a mountain and then it stomped

I have a new coworker and my boss was like “oh yeah one of the reasons I hired him was because I thought you’d get along”. Which

  1. sort of makes me feel like a cheetah in a zoo getting assigned a service dog to help tame my neuroses
  2. kind of offends me because he’s a mellow nerdy socialist flatcap pinstripe vest beardguy who I’m sure plays accordion or banjo or ukulele, which is a whole Type of Guy
  3. frustrates me because I DO genuinely like and get along with him… goddammit it’s working…

oh he’s bisexual that explains it

“don’t you love when you get to be somebody’s manic pixie dream park ranger?” yeah okay touché boss touché

your boss is deadass adding new species to your enclosure one at a time to see how you adjust to the new stimulus

thelibrawrian-deactivated201912

i was thinking about the weirdest phone calls i got when i still worked at the public library and i remembered this one phone call. it was probably less than 20 seconds long, but it still makes me laugh.

anyways, this woman called and without even saying hello after i said the usual “public library, how can i help you?” spiel, she said, “i have a very important question: when you shelve books, do you push them all to the front of the shelf or all the way back?”

it took me a second to process the question and then i answered that, at the library, we always shelve them so that they are even with the front edge so they’re easier to grab and see. she was obviously delighted by this answer and then, as if an afterthought, she asked, “okay, what about you? what do you do at home with your books?” i said i did the same thing. she hummed in obvious agreement and then just like that she said “thank you!” and hung up.

i never heard from her again. i hope she won whatever argument she was having.

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for about a year, i worked at a call center for sprint. i have a similar kind of story. a woman called, and said she had a question about the call history on her bill. “sure, let me just pull up your account-” and she cut me off going, “no, no, it’s not anything specific, it’s just. so, if you change the time on your phone, does that change the time on the bill?” “uh… no? the time on the phone doesn’t matter, the call history is recorded by the towers.” “ohhhh” she said in the saltiest voice i have ever heard “so even if you changed the timezone it wouldn’t change the time on the bill? to, say, the middle of the night?” i stg yall i looked into the camera like i was on the office. “um… no? it would still be the local time of the tower. is there anything else i can help you with?” to me, overly chipper: “nope! thank you! have a great day!” turning on someone as she hung up: “she says yoU’RE A LYING SACK OF-” i still mean-snicker every time i think about it.

i used to work in a call center for a roadside assistance company, from late 2015 to early 2016. it was easily the most miserable job i’ve ever had, and the turnover rate was very high. people stuck on the side of the road tend to be quick to anger - understandably so - and it wears on you after awhile.

so i had been having a string of very time-consuming, draining calls. my line rings again, i steel myself for another angry caller, and i pick up. “[redacted] roadside assistance, how can i help you?” i chirp, in my Customer Service Voice.

“yeah, hi,” a gentleman with a thick southern accent responds. “my motorcycle won’t start.”

i brace immediately for another long call. motorcycles were notoriously difficult to work with - a lot of insurance companies wouldn’t insure them, and a lot of tow companies refused to pick them up because they require a specific sort of trailer.

“i’m sorry to hear that, sir. what’s your current location?”

“oh, i’m just at my house. i was wondering if it would be okay for me to just load it into my trailer and take it to my buddy’s shop. would that interfere with my insurance?”

i click through his account and am Relieved to discover he’s in the clear. “No sir, it looks like you’re good to go. Can I help you with anything else?”

A pause. “Have you heard the good news?”

My Anxiety, which had been receding, suddenly spikes into the fucking stratosphere. I live in the rural south. The “good news” usually means “Jesus” and i was in no mood to be proselytized to for god knows how long.

i steel myself for the Religious Talk. “What news, sir?”

“McDonald’s is now serving breakfast all day!”

I laughed so hard I almost cried. I hope that guy ate as many hashbrowns as he could.

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ummm I didn’t get to play borderlands yesterday so we’ll roleplay it here. I go to the bounty board and loook at the quests

There is a quest to kill 5... oh I don't think you can say that anymore. Man, was it even okay to say that back then? Jesus

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grrr GRRR I cantbelieve my copy of borderlands went WOKE

*I throw the disk at my television full strength and it bounces off, beheading me instantly. You gain 35xp and the quest is complete*

As you die your corpse EXPLODES into loot. Most of it is GARBAGE commons so I just take your wallet and leave

I want a boy who worships me like i worship him. I am his everything, just as he is mine. Please. Demand my affections, melt at my touch. I want to love you! Let me love you, please please please

I want a boy with fat nuts

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what are you planning, nutsacktorturer

I'm losing my shit

Anal Cunt was famous for throwing bricks at their audience while they played. Like real ass cinder blocks. The pit would have to be a good 20 feet from the stage bc Seth had a good arm.

jesus christ

The most famous picture of Seth is a portrait of him getting a blowjob from a groupie while tying off with a guitar cord and shooting up and I wish I could still post it on this website but you'll have to look it up yourself if you wanna see it

It should also be noted that Seth died of a meth overdose, and was replaced by a new singer, whose first song was about making fun of Seth for dying of a meth overdose.

Circle of life baybeee

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queerly-tony

This is the best description I’ve heard for this method, I always thought it was bullshit because I never heard a description that actually explained how to do this other than “tap your head 20 times”.

I have anxiety-induced hissing, which sounds/feels different from sound-induced tinnitus (which I have also experience). Sound-based tinnitus actually sounds like you’re “hearing” something in your ears, whilst the hissing I have feels like it’s “inside my head”, if that makes sense. But this technique still helps!!

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Here’s a visual I found because I couldn’t understand the instructions well

My ringing just went away for the first time in years. What is this blissful quiet.

wait wait i gotta try this, i don’t think i’ve had Actual Silence since i was like 5

HOW THE FUCK

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Reblogging to save a life, and also because, even if you don’t have tinnitus, this is totally worth trying if you like new sensory experiences.  

Just showed this to my dad, and in his words, “The cicadas are still there, but the train is gone.”

One time I heard a dude online compare new and obscure LGBT terminology to newspeak. This I think is one of the biggest examples I have seen of people with their whole chest ignoring the basic themes of 1984.

In 1984 the whole point of newspeak was that it shrinks. Ideas that could once be communicated now cannot. Everything is simplified as much as possible. You cannot explain complicated ideas of freedom or equality because the words no longer exist, or they don’t mean what they once did.

More specifically, there is canonically no word for “gay” in 1984. There are only two words for the entire spectrum of sexuality. “goodsex” and “sexcrime”. If you’re gay it’s the exact same as being a pedophile. And those are is the exact same as cheating on your wife, which is the exact same daring to fuck your wife just because you feel like it. Which is no different than literally any sex act that might offend big brother.

Do you see what’s happening? In 1984 can no longer ask your wife to peg you or something because the word for pegging is the exact same word for pedophile. And you can’t come out as gay because all you can say is that you did a criminal sex act, which means you cannot make a case for your rights either.

Inventing made up words to describe obscure things that previously lacked words would literally be a perfect remedy to newspeak. This language would counter every barrier to communicating the necessary concepts. Because it’s what literally every normal non-dystopian language does.

Keep this in mind especially in regards to what's happening in Florida right now. They associate LGBT+ content with grooming, define it as pedophilia or child abuse or sexual crimes or etc. Then they pass laws calling for sex offenders to be executed. Bigots or morons claim "Oh, why are you against these anti-child abuse laws?!" Because the state is trying to redefine LGBT+ activity and individuals as being the same as child abuse. For all the bluster and anger over "Grrr, words don't mean anything anymore! These terms I grew up with don't matter anymore!" the truth is THEY are the ones trying to limits what words mean because they want to associate certain groups of people with evil people to make more innocent/ignorant individuals be okay with hurting those groups of people.

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In linguistics, we have a concept called The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. The basics of this concept are some degree of "If you don't have a word for it, you can't conceive of it."

Now, there are several degrees of this. The conception above is the strictest example of it, which is generally not accepted among linguists. A looser definition might be something like "It's much, much harder to talk about concepts you don't have words for." (For example, people who speak a language with more color words distinguish colors more quickly/easily than those who speak words with fewer color words).

Newspeak is weaponized Sapir-Whorf. To purposely restrict vocabulary to eliminate any thoughts of rebellion.

As pointed out above, progressives have been consistently adding vocabulary to the world, to better voice the thoughts and feelings of the oppressed and non-mainstream.