Emotional Support Gremlin

tumblr might enjoy this one. humans are cognitively incapable of properly conceptualizing big numbers so it’s important to find other ways to think about just how much money the wealthy have.

And people will point out: most of this money is fake. It’s theoretical. It’s an idea of how much their investments are worth and it can vanish over night because of ‘the market’. They’re not stockpiling an actual valuable resource somewhere, a kind of vault that we could break into to take their wealth.

But because they have this vast imagined wealth, they can decide which resources are gathered and created, how they are used and how they are distributed. They can decide that we need to build a private jet and not a new clean energy plant. They can decide who gets drinking water.

So when you’re talking about taking that wealth, you’re talking about taking all that power.

I slept in and just woke up, so here's what I've been able to figure out while sipping coffee:

This man wants you to give him control over all of your financial information.

Edit to add further developments:

This man wants to put computer chips in human brains

how I sit after telling a waiter who apologised for delayed order that it's no rush and I can wait

Elliot Page has the chance to do the single funniest thing in the history of Hollywood.

Posting this iconic piece of media that I just NEVER found online isolated except in an archived reddit thread

Hey remember when they found over 200 bodies of native children buried behind a residential school and the world cared for... what, a week?

They've counted about 6,000-7,000 now, for those of you who do still care

It should NOT fall on Indigenous people's shoulders to keep this known still. We’ve been doing that for generations at this point and NO ONE wants to listen to us.

We’re tired, mourning and constantly reopening our trauma and pain to keep people caring about us. It’s terrible.

I should start by noting that I am white, and not Canadian, and that if op wants me to remove this comment for any reason, please let me know.

This is a map of all the residential schools in Canada:

[link to the article it’s attached to, it’s interactable there, so you can get a better look around]

Each dot on this map represents a residential school. Blue dots mean the school is considered completely searched. Yellow dots mean they are either in the process of being searched or there are plans to be searched. Red dots indicate that no search has happened and that no search is currently planned

There were more than 130 residential schools in Canada. This map suggests that only six have been fully searched, and a little more than a dozen partially searched (I counted 15 yellow dots). That leaves at least 109 schools completely untouched.

Let that sink in; if 6,000-7,000 unmarked, indigenous children’s graves were found by searching less than a fifth of all the schools, how many are still undiscovered.

Wikipedia estimates that the body count could be over 50,000, and honestly, that could be a low estimate

[ID: A map of Canada with dozens of dots on it, 6 of which are blue and 7 of which are yellow; the rest are red. Later there is a screenshot from wikipedia reading, “Estimates range from 3,200 to over 50,000 children that were killed. Most of the recorded student deaths at residential schools took place before the 1950s. /end ID]

The residential school system was a calculated, open, and forthrightly declared attempt at the total genocide of all indigenous peoples in this country. It was literally meant to wipe them out entirely, through a combination of attrition and assimilation.

Never forget that this is what Canada is really built upon.

Anyone looking to educate themselves more about Indigenous issues in Canada, here's a non-comprehensive list of past & present bullshit, courtesy of our "home and native land," as the anthem goes.

https://www.indigenouswatchdog.org/2022/04/26/how-many-of-the-trc-calls-to-action-are-complete-dont-ask-the-federal-government/

https://apnews.com/article/canada-wildfire-indigenous-land-first-nations-impact-3faabbfadfe434d0bd9ecafb8770afce

(Tumblr won't let me add these last two as embeds)

Friendly reminder that the RCMP is a racist organization with a history of targeting + over-policing Indigenous Peoples.

Friendly reminder that the English-Wabigoon river system is still contaminated by mercury from Dryden Paper Mill 61 years later.

Friendly reminder that Indigenous women in Canada are 12 times more likely to be murdered or go missing than any other women in Canada.

Friendly reminder that the last Canadian residential school closed in 1997.

Remember the children.

My Halloween costume: The Thomas Nast Communist Skeleton

Bonus: DSA poster

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

Love, love, love reading more proof that everyone should encourage the children in their lives to write to elected officials--it teaches them about citizenship and can also be very funny.

When I taught second grade, one of the options for students who had finished their work was to write a letter to the president. I would send all of the letters in a big envelope at the end of every month.

Watching my students get more and more frustrated with him (and concerned about his wellbeing) was not the result I'd hoped for when I came up with the idea, but it was kind of hilarious.

See, Obama had a standard packet with information and activities about his dog he'd send in response to letters from very young citizens...and of course his office sent one back to our class every single time we sent mail.

So eventually all of the letters looked something like this:

Loving this post, not least because it reminded me of this email and attachment that my kid's 5th grade teacher sent us last November.

Context: we are Canadian, our provincial government is currently conservative and the CUPE strike was for teachers and support staff at an adjacent school board that didn't affect my kid's school but was talked about with them in the current events/being active in your community sense.

This is the email I opened:

and this was the attachment:

I haven't thought about this for months, so thank you for inadvertently reminding me it existed so I could lose my shit laughing about it all over again!

sending people wikipedia articles is my favorite form of humor. one time a long time friend of mine asked why i was using a different name and acting different i sent him the wikipedia page for DID. ryder just asked me why its 108 degrees in nevada right now and i sent him the wikipedia page for global warming and the season of summer.

i see you all in the tags going "this is so funny" you better not steal my fucking bit. im copyrighting this joke

you cant do this to me

found the artist's name in the notes and went looking because this slaps (it's called A Place Where I'll Dance) and its not even their best song. check this shit out:

Oh this slaps actually

attn @broliloquy is this crungy enough for you

the ideal GM/player dynamic is when one side says "here are some problems i caused" and the other says "thank you so much! i will make these worse" back and forth forever

I see Hollywood is now very into the idea of buying something once and then owning it forever and being able to make infinite copies. Which. Isn’t quite the message they imparted upon me in my childhood. In the spirit of their own long-held stance:

It is actually way better for 100 addicts to get their fix on pain pills than a single person in pain go without. I call this the "Torture is bad" principle. You should be able to get the good stuff forever after a single doctor's visit. If you're worried about addicts fund rehab centers and needle exchanges instead of torturing people.

Come on Tumblr, don’t be fucking cowards

Alternatively -  come on nameless intern #102, you have a chance to be the fucking funniest person on staff.

cowards

Time for manual blazing, tumblr can be a coward but they can't stop us.

tumblr glitch that hath rended my dash asunder:

free shitpost generator??? why isn’t this an official browsing mode. anyway here are my fav screen grabs, all hits no misses:

pure poetry. it’s like trying to tune into a specific radio station but you have giant lobster claws instead of hands

wow my blog is officially cursed, we love to see it

You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you because he wants to fuck the car. He wants to fuck the car so bad. He can't stop thinking about wanting to fuck the car.

so this is not actually how you fuck a car if you’re doing so on a regular basis!

i mean. you can. i’m sure lots of people do it for the novelty! he did that but he only did it once, because putting the fleshlight insert into the exhaust pipe rips up the edges of the fleshlight AND it’s a really awkward angle. it’s apparently pretty uncomfortable and bad for your knees and lower back.