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Welcome To The (broken) Machine

@brokenmachine3553

This just in, folks: Black Lives Matter
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Witnessed a slow motion argument today when Tilly (small turtle) ate a mealworm that Tippy (big turtle) was looking at. She retaliated by moving to sit in the food bowl so that Tilly couldn't have any. Twice he walked away in frustration, and twice she moved off the food bowl--only to immediately go sit back on it again when he attempted to come back. I think it's safe to say the honeymoon period for these two is over.

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I added a second food bowl and she immediately marched over and sat on it.

I had no idea turtles could be petty.

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Good question! Vets aren't entirely sure. Guesses are that when he was an egg or a hatchling, conditions weren't quite right. Other local nature centers have box turtles who grew up with similar shells due to their nests having been disturbed by humans or other animals. It's possible he had metabolic bone disease early on, but he recently received a diagnosis of "healthy little guy who is a funky shape."

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The real reason fantasy and sci fi book covers painted by human artists are superior to their AI-generated counterparts is that when the AI gets everything wrong it's almost always a trivial exercise to figure out what prompt it was given and how it free-associated its way to the result, but a human artist will hit you with an elaborately laid out black-velvet rendering of a scene which absolutely does not happen in the book, populated by people who in spite of their distinctive and wildly eccentric designs are not identifiable as any specific character, and the challenge of puzzling out what the fuck they thought they were painting is often more interesting than the actual book.

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The book: Paint-by-numbers Tolkienesque fantasy.

The cover artist: Fuck you, here's a cowboy on a spaceship.

Me: This is the happiest day of my life.

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The cover art spec: A medieval warrior with a magic sword fights orcs in some ancient ruins.

The art-generating AI: I drew a medieval warrior with a magic sword fighting orcs in some ancient ruins.

The human artist: I drew a dude wearing a Viking-themed BDSM harness wielding a lightsabre against a horde of jacked lion-men amid the wreckage of a crashed alien starship under the light of a triple sun. Also, one of the lion-men is being eaten by a pterodactyl. I don't remember why.

Obsessed with this girl. Queen shit.

"The entire bar is empty!" Because they were closing. And you came in late.

Also the kind music they play tends to be a pretty significant part of a bar's atmosphere and identity (ofc depends on the specific bar etc etc). This is like, two steps below asking the bartender to let you change the decor because the bar isn't cottagecore enough for you.

I get how the whole "listening to music as a dick-measuring contest for who can listen to the most obscure band" thing can get grating sometimes but I don't think people realize just how vital that phenomenon is for new up and coming bands to get a foot in the door. it's understandable to be annoyed by hipsterism but unless you want all music to be industry plants and former child stars you're just going to have to accept it as part of the social ecosystem.

most of your friends probably won't go around hyping up your amateurish self-released bandcamp project, but you know who will? the most insufferable hipster jackass you'll ever meet.

[your best friend playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah haha this is my friend's band... i know it's kinda weird and rough around the edges but i'm kinda into it... if you're not tho i'll turn it off.

[pretentious music guy you've never met before playing your music in front of someone else]: yeah so i found this on bandcamp and it completely blew me away, no one is making music like this today, it's so raw and experimental and interesting, i can't believe they only have 3 listeners on spotify, they're brilliant, frankly if you don't like this music you should kill yourself,

So, Dove soap and Lizzo are endorsing KOSA, in the name of "social media is bad for teens' self-esteem" (even though that's bullshit) and I am mad.

If you don't know, long story short KOSA is a bill that's ostensibly one of those "Protect the Children" bills, but what it's actually going to do is more or less require you to scan your fucking face every time you want to go on a website; or give away similarly privacy-violating information like your drivers' license or credit card info.

Either that or force them to censor anything that could even remotely be considered not "kid friendly." Not to mention fundies are openly saying they're gonna use this to hurt trans kids. Which is, uh, real fucking bad.

Given that in terms of their actual products they don't have a direct stake in it, it might be possible to get Dove to rescind this (can't find contact info for Lizzo sadly), if you want to contact Dove about this, here's their contact page.

And, as per usual, I urge you to contact your congresscritters, especially given that as of now (Thursday, 4/13/2023) they plan to re-introduce the bill this Monday, and we're going to need a flood of people saying this is awful to kill it.

theehorsepussy

they are going this drink after me when i die

the horsepussy

  • 2 parts apple martini flavored crystal lite
  • 1 part methadone
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We can’t have shit anymore

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*walks up to the bar* get me a white gilgamesh. and make it warm, its gonna be a long night

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TWO THIRDS BEER AND ONE THIRD MILK

FROM A GOAT OR OF ITS ILK

GOES DOWN HARSH, IT ISNT GOOD

MAKES YOU FEEL YOURE MADE OF WOOD

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WHITE GILGAMESH IT MAKE YOU SICK

JUST TOO FOUL, JUST TOO THICK

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i’ve mixed cranberry mikes harder and cucumber lime gatorade into a drink i like to call “the flavor” because like. you drink this shit and your tongue is like “there’s a taste here. you are experiencing a flavor” but when you go to open the door there’s no flavor there. it comes back with an undefined error in the flavor column. it’s the missingno of flavors. it so absolutely and definitely tastes like something and that thing is nothing.

I dont think ill ever watch bocchi the rock which is not about the shows quality but rather the fact that like. I think ive seen every frame of it posted on here. What amount of that show is even left to be watched.

And just in case anyone here hasn't already seen it, here's the whole thing:

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