it’s so relatable
!!!!!!
person: are you okay? you seem so tired all the time.
me: *internally dying because of the depression and suicidal thoughts*
me: oh. i just didn’t get a lot of sleep last night
Feeling goofy might just lean into the self isolation and consider fully cutting off from my support 🤪🤠 just want to focus on losing weight for a bit
“After that I stepped so far back no one could get near me.”
—
Michael Ondaatje, from The English Patient (McClelland & Stewart, 2006)
i'm so sick of having an irl eating disorder i want a movie eating disorder
I'm so tired of everything. I'm tired of well meaning people telling me that I just need to talk to someone, that I just need 'some support' or other similar things. I'm tired of people reminding me that my only effective coping mechanisms will kill me. I'm just tired
I am not disordered, I am responding to my environment💅
should have died at 15 but now it's too late and i have dishes to do
This is disturbingly relatable
everyone talks about cutting off a toxic parent
but no one ever talks about the pain of wanting a parent but knowing yours cannot love you the way they should
Oh boy the downward spiral is being steep today hmmm
Sometimes people tell me my unhealthy coping mechanisms (which are also the only way I've survived for years) are super dangerous and are gonna kill me and also won't help and will make me worse. And instead of whatever they presumably expect this to help with, it actually makes me panic because 1) I can't stop thinking I'm going to die now and 2) that means literally nothing helps and this can get worse which are very very bad and make me want to give up and cry and then kms 👍
“why don’t you just…?” the answer is either money or anxiety
