Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous
Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you
yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ
26/26
Alright kitten listen up cause mommy needs your help here okay. Pause the game, ok-PAUSE the game for mommy okay I need your eyes up here, kitten. I'm putting these onions in this pan okay and im gonna walk out the door yes, that's right mommy's gotta go right now mommy's gotta go for 8 hours but she needs these onions caramelized by the time she gets bac-STOP LOOKING AT THE COMPUTER mommy needs you to caramelized these onions for her okay kitten mommy needs all 5 pounds perfectly caramelized and cooked down till they're all evenly brown and sweet and YES it does need to take the whole 8 hours mommy needs you to babysit these fucking carmies okay kitten I SAID TURN THE FUCKING GAME OFF
more than anything i want this zucc vs musk cage match to go through and for zucc to pick elon up like a disobedient chihuahua and drop him directly on his head and walk out of the ring without saying anything as the commentators start freaking out because musk isn't moving and the ref can't find a pulse
Mark Zuckerberg has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to do the funniest thing possible.
okay i was joking initially but like. think about it. brutally murdering the richest man on earth with your bare hands on live TV in front of dozens of cameras and a live audience is about the most impossible thing to get away with, and if it was anyone other than Zucc, they'd be shot dead immediately and that would be that. but which security guard is going to shoot Mark fucking Zuckerberg? you can't just shoot him, you have to, like, bring him to justice with a trial, because we're better than that or whatever. and because Zucc has more money and lawyers than God he could probably draw it out for years. decades, even. jury members mysteriously disappear and have to keep being replaced. the judge recuses themselves after receiving an email during the trial with an attached video of themselves sleeping the previous night, filmed from their laptop's webcam (which they have a sticker over). the prosecutor's car drives off a bridge on the way to trial and when it's finally dredged up weeks later the brake lines were cut and there's no sign of a body.
also hyperpop musicians would sample the head bonk
You tell a lot of people you love them..
That’s the point of living, dummy.
you can strip an angel of it's divinity by touching it with a magnet because the memory on it's hard drive is easily erased by anything with a strong enough magnetic field
A game that is marketed as your standard fishing game and for the first 20 minutes or so you catch normal fish like bluegill and bass and what have you. But the further you go into the lake you start to catch fish with mutations and it gets more and more intense until you’re pulling in Eldritch horror monsters and sometimes severed human limbs. You realize you don’t recall how you got to this lake in the first place and the objective becomes to find your way back to shore. You have no real weapons but you can throw the creatures you’ve caught far away from the boat as a means to distract whatever is underneath you, bumping into the boat sometimes. Additional items for the game.
And that’s my game idea.
More details.
Possible end game situations.
I can’t think of anymore endings right now, I may have ruined the game with these new details so feel free to just enjoy the first part.
Terrible concept art. Mini game idea. Compete with members of your party to catch the most fucked up fish. Points awarded based on how many extra body parts it has and if it communicates telepathically with you.
Added my No-Romo posts to this because I feel they are the most important additions. (I am not a writer or game designer or really capable of making anything so this idea is just wishful thinking at best.)
Concept art if it was a more stylized, cute game. You would be able to customize your character and your boat. Sorry this became so big I’m tagging it with it’s working title “Lure” for now. I legit expect nothing at all to come from this, I just like to design and concept out things a bit.
THEY DID IT!!!
holy shit! i saw the OP of this, like, years ago, i never thought i’d see it as an actual game
>First, we’ve discovered that about a quarter of all the internet connection in or out of the house were ad related. In a few hours, that’s about 10,000 out of 40,000 processed.
>We also discovered that every link on Twitter was blocked. This was solved by whitelisting the https://t.co domain.
>Once out browsing the Web, everything is loading pretty much instantly. It turns out most of that Page Loading malarkey we’ve been accustomed to is related to sites running auctions to sell Ad space to show you before the page loads. All gone now.
>We then found that the Samsung TV (which I really like) is very fond of yapping all about itself to Samsung HQ. All stopped now. No sign of any breakages in its function, so I’m happy enough with that.
>The primary source of distress came from the habitual Lemmings player in the house, who found they could no longer watch ads to build up their in-app gold. A workaround is being considered for this.
>The next ambition is to advance the Ad blocking so that it seamlessly removed YouTube Ads. This is the subject of ongoing research, and tinkering continues. All in all, a very successful experiment.
>Certainly this exceeds my equivalent childhood project of disassembling and assembling our rotary dial telephone. A project whose only utility was finding out how to make the phone ring when nobody was calling.
>Update: All4 on the telly appears not to have any ads any more. Goodbye Arnold Clarke!
>Lemmings problem now solved.
>Can confirm, after small tests, that RTÉ Player ads are now gone and the player on the phone is now just delivering swift, ad free streams at first click.
>Some queries along the lines of “Are you not stealing the internet?” Firstly, this is my network, so I may set it up as I please (or, you know, my son can do it and I can give him a stupid thumbs up in response). But there is a wider question, based on the ads=internet model.
>I’m afraid I passed the You Wouldn’t Download A Car point back when I first installed ad-blocking plug-ins on a browser. But consider my chatty TV. Individual consumer choice is not the method of addressing pervasive commercial surveillance.
>Should I feel morally obliged not to mute the TV when the ads come on? No, this is a standing tension- a clash of interests. But I think my interest in my family not being under intrusive or covert surveillance at home is superior to the ad company’s wish to profile them.
>Aside: 24 hours of Pi Hole stats suggests that Samsung TVs are very chatty. 14,170 chats a day.
>YouTube blocking seems difficult, as the ads usually come from the same domain as the videos. Haven’t tried it, but all of the content can also be delivered from a no-cookies version of the YouTube domain, which doesn’t have the ads. I have asked my son to poke at that idea.
fastest reblog in the west
PHYSICS
SIMULATION
Going to send this to people when they ask what I work with
does anyone know what the first step of unlearning shame is. please say it’s substance abuse
I have been waiting all year to post this.
omg
This has been in my queue for months.
I missed it last year and I vowed that would NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
YES
omg i didnt reblog this last year!
[Image description
Two stills from Miss Congeniality.
The host is asking Miss Rhode Island questions.
The host says, “Describe your perfect date.”
Miss Rhode Island responds with, “That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it’s not too hot and not too cold. All you need is a light jacket.”
End description]
Thanks, tumblr mobile, for unintentionally making this even funnier
Just as I said, “is this ever going to load?” One gif loaded and honestly it answered my question perfectly.
Together they create the full set.
saw this again on my dash after reblog and…
tumblr black out poetry
