y’all remember being 15? That was fucked up

Some plague doctor valentines for whoever you find absolutely sickening

accounting

You have to kin whatever unus annus vid comes out on your birthday I’m sorry I don’t make the rules

i’m sure i’ve missed a few things, but i can’t stand to look at it any longer. i present to you: the good, the bad, and the ugly of tumblr throughout the decade

the concept of how sir arthur conan doyle was as a person always sends me into fits. imagine making the most famous literary character of all time but you hate the character so much you try to kill him off. but everyone is so horny for this asshole detective they make you bring him back. even your own mother gets mad when he’s dead because she likes him. raising your prices to ridiculous rates to avoid writing holmes stories backfired and now you’re rich. it’s absolutely a pain because it’s keeping you from your true passion which is spiritualism despite how one of your good friends harry houdini keeps telling you it’s bullshit. you consider your best novels to be historical ones but they’re well over shadowed by the nemesis of your own creation sherlock fucking holmes. some fake photographs from some kids convinced you faeries were real and you wrote a whole book about it. you started writing stories in medical school. and yes, also you are a doctor. after you’re dead, they erect a statue of sherlock holmes across the street from your birthplace, causing you to probably roll over one hundred eighty degrees in your grave and scream into your casket pillow.

I’ve decided to drop out of college and become a warrior cat. Now accepting applications to join my clan, we’re gonna live in the patch of woods behind Taco Bell

why does every band from the 2000s have a guy that looks like this:

my cat: *walks in my room*

me: oh!!!! hello stinky!!!!! come over here smelly!!! psspssspsspsspsst nchnchnchnch come on! please???

my cat:

A rambling comic I made in class instead of paying attention

Thesis: “welcome to the black parade” is our generation’s “bohemian rhapsody” and should be respected as such

1. Both start out talking to/about parents

2. Someone has died at the start of the song (in MCR it’s IMPLIED that Dad is now dead, which good enough)

3. Both sound like 5 different songs mashed together which is fun

4. Have themes of “carrying on” (carry on carry on as if nothing really matters & CARRY ON! We’ll carry on)

5. I’ve cried to both while running on a treadmill

6. They bring white people together like no other

So with voting do you cum when a person get bitten into or when a person is swallowed or does it depend on the moment

usually you just mark a ballot with a pen or you select the candidate you want on a screen. sometimes you hole punch the ballot though

Your limitations, not mine.

i always get chills from this video

of course im familiar with the seven deadly sins!! the munchies, super pissed ,  naps, thinking yr hot shit, thinking your friend is hot shit and being mad about it, capitalism, and big sexy

im a simple woman i laugh at my own posts and i torture my digestive system with my tendency to obey every single one of my cravings without question

*starts crying* i just really like mashed potatoes

a villain who commits crimes because they want to impress the hero and get their attention but they don't know how to flirt like a regular person

them: i just don't understand it. last week i airlifted an entire bus full of tourists to the top of a skyscraper and rigged every floor with fun, non-lethal booby traps. i wore my best cape, my tightest black leather pants AND i added 5 more flirty winks and seductive smirks to my monologue. how could i possibly have been more obvious?

their minions: have you considered just... talking to them?

them: have i what now

bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*