malungcute

fulfillment in motherhood is just an emotion you feel and not something you can explain into words, it’s indescribable and incomparable.

im tired af i could sleep for a year

i have never thought i would have a time like this preaching about parenthood stuff because i dont like it at first and i dont think anyone has until they did.

i dont like people associate parenthood to suffering, it is indeed challenging and hard at times but it’s not all that, it is also questionably fulfilling and fun at the same time.

i agree, it’s unimaginably ugly and unfair but for people who had and would have this life, they are trading something another person cannot do because simply they just want it and you don’t.

parenthood is not about what your kid can give you for you to say having them is worth it, but it’s more of what part of you can you sacrifice to make their life livable.

it’s just so annoying that people who didnt want a child (including my pre-child self) condemn people who wanted to have their own kid and family, im saying this because for that fact that i already have my own child and that i am also seeing the other side of having your own family and keeping up the relationship with your partner. i am naive and young to not know all this and i dont regret not knowing it since i didnt plan any of it, it just happened and i just needed to figure it all out.

point is, just let other people build a family they want, it’s not your pain and money that they will use so you can shut up about it.

it’s wild how every person have different set of realities and yet we manage to compromise each time

ito ako ngayon kumakain ng pancake iniisip kung okay ba ako o masaya ba ko now

I landed a job that greatly satisfies not just my financial needs but also my time preference and ideal work setting.

it’s been almost a year since I started working with this company, who would have thought life will be good as this.

so, to you who’s reading this, you’ll eventually get where you wanted, you just needed to be on that situation right now but it’ll pass.

miss maam is having adult problems at a peak age of 23

the exhaustion, i cant

ang pick me ko sa part na never ako nasway sa kahit anong trend ever tho naisip ko na factor yung mahirap lang kami dati so kahit gusto ko, di ko naman afford sumabay.

but now na capable na ako i think the reason why i dont grab them anymore is hindi dahil sa mahirap pa rin kami, it's just that hindi ko naman pala kailangan kung anong meron yung iba and higit sa lahat financial security na yung goal ko kasi ayoko na maghirap kami ulit.

the end

haha pano ko magsasabi ng problema sayo...

...eh ikaw problema ko.

at this point, it amazes me how i still thrive in to say "magsisimula ako sa 2023" knowing im suicidal as fuck

it pains me seeing how life is so much easier for you while i dont know how to live mine

it's unfair.

consistent sadness

yan ang gusto ko

when pa ba mamatay

u know it's bad when you're just waiting for it to end

no, i dont wanna go anywhere

i just wanna stay in bed all day

journaling again cos im sad