fun gender neutral things to call your partner:

ladies

make your boyfriends day and 👏 buy 👏 him 👏 some 👏 glue👏

Why does he need glue? What is he making?

👏 none 👏 of 👏 your 👏 business 👏

…pokemon is no longer a game where u can mash A through the dialogue

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

he fucked his dirtcar

That’s a dragonite tho

come with me

and you’ll be

in a world

of 

my aesthetic: left 4 dead 2 graffiti 

if my pitched-down, chopped-up remix of the wii shop channel theme gets stuck in ur head as much as the original gets stuck in mine, then i’ve accomplished my goal. if not then fuck u

i don’t anyone to say RIP at my funeral the only thing i wanna hear is GG

My therapist just told me that I “use humor to cover up past trauma so I don’t have to deal with it” and that “it will take years of extensive therapy to genuinely recover from it all” and I literally burst out laughing and finger gunned @ him

I get more “happy birthdays” from my email subscriptions than i do from actual people.

Ready to trick-or-treat

Update:

We’ve reached peak 2016 lads