every gym leader is like “I lost!?! UNBELIEVABLE!” buddy you live in a world where every ten year old child has always been offered a free fire breathing monster at least once and you brought nothing to this fight but anthropomorphic flowers
gym leaders’ whole job is to provide a specific challenge, a battle of a certain type and difficulty level. if you’ve brought the tools and skills to complete that challenge, you’re going to win by design. the pokémon in that battle are probably not actually the strongest pokemon they have.
when gym leaders go “argh, how could i lose??” they’re acting to give your victory legitimacy because you’re 10. they’re like a villain cosplayer letting a baby knock them over. they’re being nice!!
o/ <- person waving
o7 <- person saluting
ol <- person raising hand
o1 <- person scratching head
\o> <- person stretching
\o/ <- woohoo!
<o> <- EXTREME STRESS, LIKE "OH FUCK OH SHIT" STRESS
orz <- the person is on their hands and knees, on the floor, god what happened to them
OTL <- same, but we are now closer to them (mb softly pat their back or something)
or2 <- the person is still on their hands and knees but they've got a fat ass now
topical
why's the dracula tag bisexual
Why are you a homophoibe
Play a warlock character who calls himself Vithimorex or something like that. Always mention how grateful you are to your patron, Frank, for the wondrous powers he gives you.
Slowly reveal that the powers you get from Frank are things like “sense of smell” and “verbal communication”. As it turns out, Vithimorex is an extradimensional Thing possessing the person formerly known as Frank. All the eldritch blasts and shadow conjurations are boring powers according to Vithimorex. He can’t wait for the level 14 ability to understand and appreciate music.
Also, I realized something about the name I made up, so here’s a song:
When the moon splits in two and your nightmares come true, Vithimorex...
When the world seems to bleed since the dead god was freed, Vithimorex...
formlessnow-deactivated20200403
ACTIVATING DEATH RAY
Your death will be quick and pineless
My life is now better with this pun in it.
geisterwand
I haven’t seen these in AGES!
msburgundy-but-worser-deactivat
whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly has never met ibuprofen
Actually literally accurate. The song originates in the 1949 musical Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, while ibuprofen was invented in 1961.
don’t cry 32 heart emojis in the world ❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🩷🤎🖤🩶🤍💔❤️🔥❤️🩹❣️💕💞💓💗💖💘💝💟😘😍🥰😻💌🫶🫀♥️
actually 29. 3 don’t show up for me
there’s love out there you can’t even see yet but i promise you it’s there 🤍
my friend went to new york and this is the only photo he sent me
jk rowling's new reputation will never not be funny to me. when you see her name now you dont think "oh yeah thats the chick who wrote harry potter" you think "oh lord, this TERF bitch again" like bro how do you fuck up so bad that your fuck ups overshadow writing the third most read piece of literature in existence
i get so fucking angry every time i play a video game and it has a dazzling night sky so full of stars you can scarcely see the darkness of space between them and i think about how that’s literally what the night sky looks like in real life right here on planet earth and yet I’ve never once on my life actually seen it with my own two eyes because light pollution has turned even the sight of the stars into a luxury
autism is living by vampire rules. light sensitivity. eating the wrong food makes you want to die. need to be explicitly invited places. weird sleep schedule. eating the same thing every time. specific rituals and routines. burst into flames at the sight of a crucifix. etc.