So I got called into jury duty…

And I was put in the seat instantly, of course. I said, “your honor, I can’t be a juror on a two week trial, I have opera rehearsal.” And she said, “opera huh, well, sing something for us.”

And I did. In a federal court of law, in front of the judge, 75 jurors, the lawyers and the fucking DEFENDANT, I sang o mio babbino caro.

And the judge excused me.

@districtswiftie13

YO I DIDNT EMBARRASS MYSELF IN FEDERAL COURT SO YALL CAN DOUBT ME.

I know a lot of opera singers, and singing a full-on aria in a court room with only a hint of provocation is EXACTLY what they would do.

I know a lot of judges, and demanding an impromptu opera solo on a whim is also something they would do.

(And also one of the main reasons you can be excused from jury duty is economic hardship–basically, it would cause you unreasonable financial damage. If you’re a professional singer, a two week gap in your rehearsal schedule could do that for sure.)

As a muso, I absolutely believe this. I’ve got my accordion out of my carry-on and played a tune when airport security couldn’t recognise its weird mass of levers. Singers and musicians are just Like That.

Accurate.

My friend got stopped at the Canadian border coming back into the US. Border patrol took one look at his tattoed, ear-gagued, mutton chop wearing, hipster self, and said “I don’t believe you’re an opera singer. Sing something for me.” His wife immediately put down her knitting and plugged her ears, because Matt’s a contrabasso, and he does NOT sing quietly. Every other booth along the border stop had a head poking out of it within twenty seconds. And they let them pass without further contest.

The unwillingness of some people to believe that literally anything remotely interesting happens in other people’s lives is truly astounding.

Can we all please just take a moment to appreciate that OP’s url is literally @melodramaticsoprano and yet she still was doubted?  

Absolutely true

you are so right

Up The Wolves by The Mountain Goats // Minotauro by Jordi Garriga Mora

i don’t know if i dreamed this thought or not but recently i read the most heartwrenching romantic story from a woman’s perspective and it was written by a man. and i read the most excruciating description of being a son and it was written by a woman. and yes the profundity of experience is irrespective of gender but it also has me thinkin abt that “there’s no man quite like a woman” quote and how we understand each other’s shared experiences far better than most think. but there is something about that longing searching quality of trying to imagine across a societal divide; drawing closer to recognizing one another in a truer sense even if we’re taught there is nothing recognizable in each other. there’s a terribly tragic tenderness in the hard work of human connection

Todd Haynes, The Village Voice

Bo Burnham, Time Magazine

Fuck that post going around saying "you can have coffee in your story without justifying it :) you don't need to explain everything :)" I want, no, I DEMAND a fully researched ethnobotanical paper on every single food item in your work, if you don't explain to me where did potatoes come from in your fantasy setting or don't explain how the industry of coffee works over interstellar distances with full detail you are doing things wrong and I personally hate you and I hate your stupid story, fuck you

Why are your stupid little wizards and knights eating potato stew in your dumb European middle ages fantasy world. Where did they get potatoes from. Where is the center of domestication of potatoes, do you have a fantasy Andean civilization? What are the social and economic consequences of having such a calorie rich crop in cold climates. I don't care about "themes" or "enemies to lovers with found family", I didn't ask about that. Where does your idiot space captain gets their shitty coffee from. Is it imported from Earth? Are there coffee growing worlds? Is it an alien species replacement with the same name? What are the social consequences of that? Don't try to change the subject, I'll stop pointing the gun when I want, I'm trying to have a conversation here,

gold in them there tags

love it when characters r 15 and actually exhibit the very real disease of being 15

for science this time!

Pendrive / just "USB" / Stick

Clementine Keith-Roach for Casa Vogue 2010 Shot by Tim Walker

I had someone ask me if my compass tattoo was "a Wiccan thing" and I just...wut? It's pretty clearly a straightforward compass, with only one change... instead of an N for North, there's a burning candle. Like, I know that GPS has replaced maps, but it's still pretty common to see compass roses all over the place? I'm so confused.

I mean, I appreciate that she wasn't judgy about it when she thought it was a pagan thing, or the fact that I've got a big, obvious tattoo covering my forearm, but I'm deeply confused about the fact that she thought it was a Wiccan thing in the first place.

I mean, right? HOW DO YOU GET THERE FROM THIS?

I mean, yeah, the symbolism actually is to guide the way home, and blackberries are fairy fruit and all, but still...I have no idea how she jumped to Wiccan?

(Side note: this is just the outline. The color is scheduled for the end of the month.)

I think some people just see candles and plants and immediately think WITCHCRAFT. Props to that person for non-judgmental curiosity though.

Also, that design is GORGEOUS and I hope you'll share pics once the color is done!

I mean I have a compass rose tattoo that's just a straight up b&w compass rose and I still have people ask if it's a wiccan thing tbh

And yeah it has spiritual significance to me and I am of a witchy inclination but I'm not nor ever have been wiccan, neither is the compass rose a wiccan symbol as far as I'm aware.

I think it's also possible that some people see Symbol And Circle and think Paganism. A compass rose is not a Paganism.

This on the other hand....

Oh sweet tattoo! Is that a cartography thing?

TOUCHÉ 🤣

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

ok. I'm in the world. now what am I supposed to do

different schools of thought I suppose

Space Shroom for getting so high, you’d be out of the exosphere ⭐🌟✨

i look outside and see andy goldsworthy in my yard arranging my fallen crab apples into an intricate spiral with a colour gradient of most to least rotten. i fire my gun into the air to startle him and send him running back into the woods

not a dream

conservative women are harassing a retro clothing brand for featuring David Ross Lawn wearing their dresses, which they apparently used to love because their linen clothes are modest and it allows the tradwives to cosplay as waifs from the olden times so they're big mad that the brand is inclusive

Also, when I followed the brand yesterday, they were at 320k followers and now they're at 323k so they're gaining, not losing

personally I allow retro clothes and it's all linen!

Heh, I had been admiring their clothes for a bit but hadn't purchased because...well, when I'm mostly seeing them on questionable folk (when your interests abut the wellness to fascists pipeline...) well. I hadn't purchased.

And now that I know better, I can do better, and when I need a new dress, it'll be from here.

omfg i forgot that i never showed tumblr my greatest achievement. my pride and joy, my pi-ass de résistance

you're welcome

if you reblog this i am kissing you on the mouth. no that is not negotiable. we are in love now. we are dating. we are planning the wedding. i will be with you on your wedding night

I'm sorry but Americans are simply not the weird ones here for taking basic safety precautions before operating a piece of mechanical equipment!

See the difference is that outside of the US people don't need to worry about helmets because the roads and streets are actually safe

ASPHALT IS ASPHALT AND CONCRETE IS CONCRETE