June 15 is the anniversary of both the Night Vale and Gravity Falls pilots, as well as Vanessa Doofenshmirtz’s birthday and “give it up for day 15” day
happy birthday to the only things ever
And love händel reunion day and Linda and Lawrence’s anniversary
Hey.
The most day ever
in case you ever wanted to know what mambo number 5 sounds like with all the instruments (including the drums) replaced with bike horns
it sounds like the song is going to kill you and it’s perfect
i smiled through the whole thing because i just don’t understand what would compell someone to do this but thanks
i cannojt bretahe
i appreciate the content warnings and understand their importance but i can’t help but giggle a little bit when i click on a fnaf fic and half the chapters have child death warnings in their notes. sir this is the Child Death Game i think i know what i’m signing up for
*entering the child death and murder fandom* why the fuck is this place so full of child murder
are you in the right headspace to receive information that can possibly hurt you right now.
w. what the fuck is the incest fandom
now are you in the right headspace to receive information that can possibly hurt you right now.
play this at my funeral
have to assume this persons hands were shaking so bad cause my guy owned them so hard
SNL - Cut for Time: My Little Step Children
This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades
they cut it because of the ONE gay reference
Same energy
both of these sketches were written by julio torres - here’s his twitter
Omg 😂
I just want you all to know that my dramatic 6 year old ass would have loved all of this shit.
I’m the dramatique™ hand to face moment in the broken mirror.
Here for the sensitive masculinity and broody femininity sm love
As best I can tell, the back of the doll box’s text reads: RICHARD is a handsome, wealthy widower who cannot seem to get over the loss of his first wife … until you came along! His kids are now Your Little Step Children, who you feel conflicted about to say the least. Richard’s silences are full of sorrow; he has a void in his heart that perhaps you can fill. He just has to accept that his first wife is gone … or is she?
THE SPEED-
this fits with my fantasy
this post feels like something that'd happen between otsu and the doc
CANON
so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all
WHY IS THAT ONE FUCKING TULIP A DIFFERENT COLOR I WOULD BE UPSET TOO
it is the chosen one
it must be the main character in the anime
It got funnier when I realized just how many tulips are in this picture.
“In a world where tulips were yellow, one dared to be different…”
Every spring this picture comes back around and every spring I crack up
at first you just see the row of tulips in the foreground, and it’s funny
then you see the rows stretching back for yards and yards, and it’s even funnier
Heyo so I’m throwing a big ol party after quarantine if this hits 1 mill so uh if anyone’s out there pls help embarrass my sister even more 7 years later
Happy 22nd of April, everyone!
10 years of embarrassing OP’s sister!
BRASIL NÚMERO 1 CAMPEÃO PENTA ☝🏼🥇🏆🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷
This is Not an award show 😂
CAMPEÃO DO MUNDO 🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷☝🏼
A new strain, dubbed Arcturus (XBB 1.16), is becoming prominent in India, and “an infantile phenotype seems [to be] emerging”. Pediatric cases are on the rise with a new symptom: conjunctivitis, more commonly known as “pink eye”.
XBB.1.16 is a recombinant of two descendants of so-called “stealth Omicron” BA.2. A preprint study updated Sunday from scientists at the University of Tokyo suggests that it spreads about 1.17 to 1.27 times more efficiently than relatives XBB.1 and XBB.1.5, also known as “Kraken,” which currently dominates U.S. cases.
XBB.1.16’s increased ability to outpace other variants suggest that it “will spread worldwide in the near future,” researchers wrote, adding that the variant is “robustly resistant” to antibodies from a variety of COVID variants, including “stealth Omicron” BA.2 and BA.5, which surged globally last summer.
Your vaccine, now woefully outdated especially if you did not receive the bivalent booster, will only marginally protect you. Even if you caught Covid within the last 6 months, your antibodies are negligible.
If you know anyone who has recently returned from India or any neighboring countries, encourage them to mask and isolate. If you or your children are experiencing mild cold/allergy symptoms, especially red, itchy, watery, and/or sticky eyes, please wear a mask, isolate if you can, and test for Covid. “Adenovirus, which has symptoms similar to COVID, can also result in conjunctivitis. Adenovirus and COVID are impossible to distinguish from each other without testing.”
At the time of this posting, it looks like XBB 1.16/Arcturus has already made it to the US, UK, most of Europe, and even Australia and New Zealand. The lineage is being tracked here.
i think rickrolling is the only meme that gets objectively funnier with age. in 2009 you learned to anticipate it but in 2019 it happens just infreqently enough that i fall for it every single time
like people still make rage comics and doge jokes and shit but it’s always ironic (the real punchline is that you’re using an outdated format) or more in line with modern absurd internet humor. rickrolling is the only meme i can think of that’s been the exact same for a full decade- click on a link thinking you’re getting something else, get rick astley instead, and it’s still consistently funny
the more time passes the more foolish you feel for falling for a rickroll as well. Like darn I learnt about this prank 10+ years ago how did I just fall for it now,
Plus, as far as memes go, turns out it’s still incredibly popular
Nooope. Nope, you can’t get me. I’m not clicking on that link and you can’t make me.
I am a fool for clicking
it’s honestly so, so fascinating—here’s a graph I found that estimates how many people have been rickrolled in the past decade!
Mmmmmmm the story seems a bit fishy. I really don't think he had three girlfriends (and i seriously doubt all of them smoked weed)
he had pictures of all three of his weed-smoking girlfriends (who smoked weed), all named. you dare insinuate he would lie about his weed-smoking girlfriends? (idk if I mentioned this but they smoke weed)
wild to think about the fact that, right now, as you read this, there’s a fandom server on discord having drama the likes of which we could not even fathom
Highlights reel
Reblogging here for “no, you carry on above the misery”
bro, i don't think that guy had three girlfriends. one that note, i don't think they smoked weed.
i on the other hand believe in that guy and his weed smoking girlfriends (who smoked weed fyi)
My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.
do they smoke weed?
Yes, actually.
you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette?
It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)
They don’t look like they smoke weed.
Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. Fuck You. I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.
Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.
I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING
Well that escalated quickly……
What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*
haha oh my god
who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.
love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.
and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.
“the goo pile that is now your body”
i’m dying over here, jesus
please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.
*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot… *leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*
this dude playin omg
Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you. I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.* Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
THIS ONLY HAPPENS ONCE EVERY FEW YEARS, REBLOG WHILE YOU CAN
