Im the one who just egged your house

they were so gay for that

aziraphale’s bookshop being a maximalist dream full of personality vs heaven being a minimalistic dream devoid of any personality and crowley’s flat being the most personalized minimalistic shit i’ve ever seen vs hell somehow being full of stuff while completely void of personality is something that can be so personal actually

“ Okmulgee, Oklahoma fire crews say they had a bizarre lightning strike call at the Oxford Apartments overnight. They say lightning came through the vent in the roof and struck the toilet, shattering it.“

I will accept precisely one form of toilet humour and it is jokes about these three pictures.

Holy shit

@bonefarm this looks like the nonsense you have to deal with.

this is going around twitter rn but im also super curious: please tell me your top four comfort movies that you’re always down to watch bc my friend thinks mine are ridiculous and now we’ve realised everyone’s version of “comfort” is hilariously different

i stepped in my kitchen late last night and I ain’t had a single snack in the cribo. went back to bed mad disgruntled. felt like oliver twist. like a pre industrial revolution british kid or something

This is why I decided to learn how to bake.

brother i said i missed the bus and you telling me this is why you became an astronaut. where do we go from here?

Graze, Gore, Girlboss

the first ant to sumit the everest said he did it to clim down the other side and keep going forward as always

making posts about how beer tastes bad is a lot like that painting of a jester harassing a bunch of dogs while leaning over a wall, except the jester is below the dogs and trying so hard to reach them, and all the dogs are extremely beautiful and strong, and have a wonderful community built on love, and they never want for anything. they never want for anything.

lobbying the Olympic committee to recognize gay chicken as a real sport

OMG GRINDR UNIONIZING TOO????????

(link to bypass paywall)

I'd use a tumblr badge if they gave me one that was evil bleeding skull flaming skull dark blood skull vampire demon wings horned skull oozing fangs sinister skull. For free

guy wearing a shirt that says "on thursdays I become the foul beast": hey does anyone remember what day it is today?

hey can we spread some love across the dashboard tonight ... rb and say in the tags why you initially followed + why you stayed for the person you rbed from !

So I posted these two images that I made in a post together just shy of a year ago, and the post got 10,000+ notes. Today I saw a meme with a text convo of someone sending one of them to a military recruiter (which is extremely funny) and I thought “oh I should find that post again”

but when I went to find it, it had completely vanished. not just the original post, but even reblogs of it. I couldn’t even find screenshots anyone had taken of the original post. it wasn’t brought to my attention as a reported post, tumblr never even contacted me about deleting it, it just… disappeared

really gets the noggin joggin

so that’s the line huh tumblr. that old post just went too far and you had to poof it.

Reblog to remember the post before it gets deleted again

do care + did ask + im hugging you + im hugging you + im hugging you + im hugging you + im hugging you

Reblog to hug your mutuals

He won't leave that man alone

Standing at the top of the stair well wearing my bunk mates clothes to scare him at the abandoned factory sleepover after our scary "Clone vat" movie watch party but I forgot he put a curse on his clothing to act like puppies when ever they see him so they rip themselves off my body and bound down the stairs to greet him and start barking and im just naked at the top of the stairs and afraiud and embarased and but instead of being angry he steps up to me and stwrts to. .. .... we start kissinf

@matetikus kalandjai