Princess Jasmine

i cant even count how many comedians have aspired and failed to be as funny as this title

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

OH FUCK YEAH KID YOU GO

love legally blonde. movie changed my life

LAST WEEK WE CAN USE THIS SOMEONE HIT THE PANIC BUTTON

Hello, I come from the forests, ask me anything 

how are the trees

I dont know who you are or what that is. AMA closed

You ever eat something you should NOT have and immediately beg for God’s forgiveness?

This post screams lactose intolerance

honestly adding a dog pic to a post about eating things you shouldn’t have is incredibly fitting

Keanu Reeves appreciation post ♥️

I love this man. He’s a wonderful example of a decent, moral wealthy person.

…….WHY DOES HE DO THIS!?  MY GOD THIS MAN IS JUST FUCKING PERFECT!

I remember in one interview he said he had more money than he could ever spend in a single lifetime, so he just gives the money away. Outside of random strangers, he also gives most of it to various charities, and only grants himself a small stipend to live on, pay rent, buy food, etc.

Socialist king

I Hear That’s Good

AM I HAVING A STROKE?

The synchronized “jOHN MulANey” absolutely destroyed me

MUHLANEE

This is what it feels like when auditory processing just shuts off

The Mary Frances cook book; or, Adventures among the kitchen people - 1912 - via Internet Archive

hell yeah mouse dab

Is this… grand theft alto?

How did this get 176 notes?

I guess music puns just might be my forte.

As I near 200,000 followers here at fishingboatproceeds, I just wanted to say Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it

For those wondering,

double triple - six patties bossy - all beef deluxe - with everything (lettuce, onions, tomato, etc) on a raft - on toast 4x4 - 4 patty by 4 cheese, so (6x4) 24 patties and 24 slices of cheese animal-style - cooked in mustard extra shingles - extra toast with a shimmy - jelly on the toast and a squeeze - orange juice on the side light axle grease - with butter make it cry - extra onions burn it - well done let it swim - extra sauce

You forgot the orange juice on the side

the only valid addition to this post

jk rowling mentioned in the past that she had planned for hermione to have a sister but she let the idea go once it got later in the series because it was too late to mention her. i think she should do that thing again and just let her ideas go because it’s really, really late now

I woke up thinking of this

me, finding out The Good Place is ending after Season 4: