Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"
STOP REBLOGGING THIS if this gets notes op is going to post the leonardo dicaprio pointing image
squeeze HIS thighs! play with HIS hair! HOLD him and kiss him!!
Being followed by a car for 2 turns in the city: "I'm about to be murdered. Let me call my mom and write my will because this is it"
Being followed by a car for 6 hours on country highways: "The relationship between Blue Subaru and I is beyond compare. We're family. My road brother."
You get it
stiles, in a cemetery: I call upon the spirits of beacon hills for guidance…
stiles: how do I ask derek hale out
erica: *responding from beyond the grave through an ouija board* ha, simp
stiles: I’m glad I didn’t send any drunk texts last night.
derek: You did.
stiles: What?
derek: You sent me a text that said “If you ever want your dick sucked, I’d gladly volunteer.”
stiles: Oh, that wasn’t a drunk text
boyd: [points at stiles] derek, you left us in the hands of HIM! [to stiles] No offense.
stiles: No, I’m with you.
derek: something’s wrong. every time I’m near stiles, my stomach twists, and I have heart palpations. I think he’s trying to poison me.
erica: no, those are feelings.
derek: they’re distracting, he better make them stop.
jennifer: [flirts with derek]
stiles: [staring at them silently]
allison: You’re really quiet today, stilinski.
stiles: [still staring] nobody plans a murder out loud.
stiles: Turn around!
stiles: NO, that was the wrong way
derek: Where are you??
stiles: at home, but the thought of you spinning aimlessly in circles amuses me
derek: seriously you have to stop joking about your traumas!
isaac: haha, and what are you going to do? Tell my dad?!
derek:
erica: why are you like this??
derek: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.
derek: you really put aside everything and came all this way for me? how did you even get here so fast?
stiles: several traffic violations.
erica: three counts of resisting arrest.
cora: also, that’s not our car.
erica: Knock Knock.
boyd: who’s there?
erica: when, where?
boyd: when, where, who?
erica: tomorrow night, my place, you and me.
boyd: O…oh.
stiles, across the room: *under his breath* damn that was smooth. Hey, Derek!
stiles: derek tells me you had a fight a school.
eli: yeah, I did.
stiles: We didn’t send you to school to do that, eli
eli: I’m sorry, dad
*stiles closes the door*
stiles: .. did you win?
eli: hell yeah.
stiles, high fiving him: that's my boy
boyd: stilinski, we have talked about this. You are not supposed to give people advice! Now couldn’t you just have made some sort of inappropriate joke?
stiles: I did! A penis one!
derek: you want me to flex and make all the buttons pop off my shirt?
stiles: yes! you can do that?
derek: the challenge is keeping the buttons on.
stiles: we have a problem.
derek: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps causing them.
stiles: [slams door]
lydia: meeting with the pack?
stiles: [nods]
allison: are we shit talking?
stiles: we are
allison and lydia: [happy gasp]