my body is a machine that turns dicks into rare gems and artifacts
my body is a machine that turns rare gems and artifacts into sucked dicks
my body is made of rare gems and artifacts that turn sucked dicks into machines
thats really scary you should go to the hospital
my body is normal
grow up
yeah whats youre problem
lets fucking kill them
the term "i love to boggy" will now be incapable of leaving my lexicon anytime soon
behold my new ingenious invention!
Since the unfortunate loss of my previous wizard tower (thanks to @the-illegal-wizard-council ) I have had to relocate. In doing so I have come up with an invention that could revolutionise wizard housing! I propose to you, reader, the reverse wizard tower!
So we all know wizard towers, towers, that wizards live in. Well the reverse wizard tower is different. Rather than going up high into the sky, it goes deep down into the ground, and is covered by a small homely looking cabin.
I suppose in other words this could be considered a shack on top of a hole in the ground but for now it must do while I continue to work on my new regular wizard tower.
we deny having anything to do with this. good luck with your wizard cellar
as a child being told "the moon controls the tides" with no additional explanation was like. oh okay. you want me to believe in magic? you're talking about magic right now? okay. fine
sorry. only semi-related but i simply wasn't ready for "the sun is a distant gorilla". thank you NASA
If you’re a poor person listen spending less on things that makes you happy/only spending money on essentials will not get you out of poverty but will make you want to kill yourself
Everyone gets so mad when they see poor ppl spend money on anything other than food and rents and i gotta tell you being a “good” poor is a misery trip you’ll never please these people
Hello fellow wizards! I want to make a drawing of a wizard oc but I have no motivation! All of you wise wizards give me advice and some motivation so I can finish my drawings! I actually draw fairly well, if I'm motivated to put work in it. So help a wizard out and help me get motivated to do this thing! Wizards for life!!!!!
MOTIVATION BE UPON YE!!!!!
i wish we could have subtitles in real life bc i really can’t hear anything anyone is saying to me
Cast Tony Hawk as Moist Von Lipwig
Discworld Heritage Post
Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom
Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff
Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church: w h e r e a r e t h e b o n e s
Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Me, a janitor, sweeping up the vampires ashes: where the fUCk did all this dirt come from
World Heritage Post
the sound of an orchestra tuning up makes me go crazyinsane it makes me start thinking about the eventual heat death of the universe and how someday somewhere an orchestra is going to tune up for the very last time. ever. and then the sun will swallow the earth & turn into a white dwarf & all the stars will go out & meanwhile a gazillion light years away sentient life will be evolving from silicon. and maybe they will have orchestras also
these pictures of slenderman at dashcon will forever be like my favorite thing ever
history brought to you by the depths of hell
it's my dad's birthday, and every year my mom makes him a traditional English breakfast (and we are from israel so its probably not very accurate but bare with me) but we forgot to buy beans...
Do you have any suggestion for something to replace the beans?
In a traditional English Breakfast when there are no beans, the waitress looks at you unsympathetically and says "Beans are off, love." I suggest your mother practice saying that in her best English accent.
been repeating this in my head all day
