• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

you have been visited by the marges three

th3_s3nsitiv3_snack3r: just burst into tears after learning my preferred brand of onion dip would no longer be sold (╥ _ ╥)... but later felt true, human joy when i tasted the newest flavor sour of gummy bears (,,> ᴗ <,,) just another day in the life of me, the sensitive snacker

enkidu and gilgamesh, presumably on their way to the cedar forest to slay humbaba, after which everything was fine, a-okay even, and nothing went wrong

you aren't really supportive of gender fuckery and gender weirdness if you can't accept that sometimes men will be lesbians and sometimes women will be gay guys and sometimes the lesbian guy and gay guy who's also a woman are the same person. if the only gender fuckery you support is identities that make sense to you, then dare i say that is not real support.

Trans people used to describe their genders with shit like "gay faggot girl of male experience" and the distilling of Gender into a small handful neat, sterile, boxes is so fucking boring. Can we bring back offensive gremlin genders please?

I'm 5'4" and I dress like a cartoon fisherman and I've got more porcelain figurines than even the most geriatric of grandmas could ever dream of... ladies.

AND I'm taking steps to get my ham radio license so you know I've got those communication skills. Really, I'm the full package. I have an extremely crooked D20 tattoo, but my calculator watch covers it, so it's like it's not even there, baby, don't worry about it.

anyone who told you much ado about nothing is good and worth watching was RIGHT and you should listen to them

Ah here we go! Free full play for anyone who needs it, i watched it last week so i still had the link in my history heh :D enjoy!

God I love this version

the internet archive link got taken down but you can watch it on youtube here!

a collection of very twinky, pretty pics of ardal o’hanlon as father dougal mcguire

so bright and earnest. shaving cream stuck in his ear. he’s a human puppy dog.

feathery 90s hair my beloved.

he looks so confused, bless him. his slightly crossed eyes are sending me.

oh my god just LOOK AT HIM. My heart can’t take it. 

a pair of cozy dougals 

cozy

the dougal show <3

I wanted to go a bit more in-depth with this piece that I did for zukka week 2023 because i got inspired to do more insane clothing details. ID in ALT.

Ramble about the influences/inspirations below:

Theyre litteraly not giving any space for Raava there

Not true!

Wake up babe new tag yourself dropped

Really lucky a mongermonger turned up to help with this post.

lawmonger i use that to cut the grass

How to Set Fence Posts That Won’t Rot.

have a bunny kiss them for luck. got it