Avatar

I stole the Sock

@bowtomyvanashingdinosaurs

this is kinda just an account for everything i have a second tumblr dedicated to band and the name is: band-memes-unite
Avatar

If your cat stares at the wall

  1. Call their name. They always know what you’re saying, trust me.
  2. If they do not respond (i.e look at you), check for a bug. Cats can speak to bugs. They’ll try to eat the bad ones.
  3. If there is no bug, try and remember if your house has a Thing. The knowledge will be covered, it doesn’t want you to know. It’s in your mind if you look.
  4. Do not pet the cat. They are trying to protect you. Let them do so.
  5. The cat will keep you safe. They love you.
  6. If the cat turns to look at you, and does not blink, the Thing has moved. Walk calmly out of the room. Leave the cat.
  7. Remember #5. The Thing wants you to forget.
  8. If this behavior continues for more than two hours, leave the house.
  9. Burn it. Start upstairs, light a curtain near an outlet.
  10. Your cat will be waiting by the door, as always. Take them with you.
  11. Contact HGK477. They will know what to do. The Thing will know when they are coming and flee.
  12. If HGK477 can’t find the Thing, that’s good. It won’t bother you again.
  13. If your cat continues to stare, always seemingly at something right behind you, leave your hometown and never look back. Keep no ties with humans or Things. Just keep your cat.

HGK477 is not liable if the fire spreads. Cast wards for your neighbors’ protection and to make it appear to be an electrical fire.

More guides

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

REBLOG TO SAVE YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CAT!

Avatar

For making a deal with a demon

  1. Decide what you are willing to sell your soul for. Don’t settle for less.
  2. Research which demon you want to make a deal with. Some demons are more adept at certain deals than others.
  3. Research what you are making the deal for. Make sure you understand it forwards and backwards. Demons don’t have return policies for unsatisfactory deals.
  4. Find a secluded but well-lit location to summon the demon you have chosen. Do not summon your demon in a place no one else will go.
  5. Set up a devil’s trap to keep your demon with you. If you skip this step, your demon is liable to escape and may attempt to kill you.
  6. HGK477 is not responsible for any injuries suffered when followers of this guide attempt to summon a demon.
  7. Perform your summoning ritual at the darkest hour of the night. This will vary from location to location, or day to day. The best measure of when the darkest hour will fall is the time halfway between sunset and sunrise.
  8. If your demon does not arrive on your first summoning ritual, do not worry. He or she was probably held up with another deal. Or office work in hell. Or doing anything to avoid answering your summons.
  9. Return to your summoning location each night for a month. If your demon answers your summon, move on to Step 12. If not, finish through Step 11 and destroy all evidence of this guide.
  10. After a month of failed summons, DO NOT try to summon your demon again. Clear all evidence of your research into your demon and the deal you wanted to make. Bleach the floor of your devil’s trap. Burn your location to the ground, if possible. Then leave the scene as quickly as possible.
  11. Move to another city exactly 100 miles due east of your current residence. The angels are coming for you. You don’t want them to catch you.
  12. When your demon has been summoned, do not be alarmed by his or her appearance. Most demons choose a human-like appearance for dealings with humans, but some more disgruntled ones will don their true form to scare away any potential clients. They just want to enjoy their retirement and chill out by the lava flows.
  13. Retrieve your research files on your demon and the subject of your deal. Your demon will ask what deal you want to make. He or she already knows; it’s just a formality he or she must follow.
  14. Do not speak to your demon until you have at least three witnesses and a lawyer experienced in demon deals. Refer to Step 4. You can hire a demon lawyer up to three months before the expected date of your deal at www.hgk477.com/lawyersfordeals666, or call 1-800-DEMON42 for an impromptu consultation.
  15. Wait for your demon lawyer to arrive. Again, refer to Step 14.
  16. Do not let your demon set the terms of your deal without writing them down in your presence. Remember, you may be working together, but he or she is still a demon, and dishonesty is just part of being a demon.
  17. Read over the contract for your deal VERY CAREFULLY. Your lawyer can help you with this step.
  18. Please note that contracts will vary in length from a few pages to several novels. This is why you should have done thorough research on the object of your deal.
  19. Only sign the contract where your demon has marked it with a red X. Signing at any other place will result in your signing up for something you didn’t expect.
  20. Your demon may ask for physical evidence of your consent to a deal. This may range from a handshake to some… unsavory actions. Remember, you have some bargaining power with your demon. If you are uncomfortable with what they ask of you, offer him or her a compromise you are comfortable with.
  21. Before you finish your deal, obtain a promise from your demon that he or she will allow you to leave the location peacefully. Refer to Step 5.
  22. Refer to Step 6.
  23. Make sure you remember the terms of your deal. Make the most of it before it expires.

More guides

If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!

I understand there’s no return for an unsatisfactory deal but what about the demon attempting to return my unsatisfactory soul? I wouldn’t want to risk getting that thing back on a technicality.

This is Berk

“This is Berk” is an iconic quote of the How to Train Your Dragon franchise. Undeniably, Hiccup’s monologues at the start and end of the films and shorts are classic. They provide interesting, witty, humorous, and yet informative descriptions of life on Berk. However, not only do these monologues describe Berk’s situation, but they describe Hiccup’s heart.

Each one of the “This is Berk” speeches Hiccup gives provides us a bit of insight into more than the island of dragon-loving Vikings… it also gives us insight into his thoughts.

Start of How to Train Your Dragon

This is Berk. It’s twelve days north of Hopeless, and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It’s located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word, sturdy. And it’s been here for seven generations, but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have… dragons.

At the start of the first film, Hiccup gives a rather bleak description of Berk. The best things he can describe are the sunsets and the village’s sturdiness. However, the main impression audiences glean from Berk is that the island is dismal. It is a forbidding place to live, one where only people with “stubbornness issues” would dare stay. Berk is cold and covered in dragons… “pests”… to give an understatement.

However, Berk is not just forbidding and frozen as a location, but it is an unwelcome place for Hiccup personally. Hiccup lingers in a home that is cold and unwelcoming to him, miserable beyond being placed on the “Meridian of Misery.” And indeed Hiccup’s life seems hopeless… Gobber talking to Stoick indeed remarks, “I know it seems hopeless,” regarding the chief’s son. You could even go so far as to say dragons are pests to Hiccup personally… for his inability to fight, stand up, and kill dragons is one of the hindrances preventing Hiccup from being accepted by the other Vikings.

Even Hiccup’s sarcastic delivery of the voice-over provides us insight into his personality. The pessimistic, negativity-oriented introduction to “This is Berk” almost tells us more about Hiccup than the island itself. We learn his character and where he is emotionally before we even see his face.

End of How to Train Your Dragon

This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies or parrots, we have… dragons!

Hiccup still has a lot to overcome by the end of the first film. He has just had a foot amputated, for crying out loud. Furthermore, he still is accustomed to the Vikings considering him an anomalous outcast rather than someone to be respected. In that regard it makes sense that he still talks about the people in Berk being tough and tasteless, or some of the other unpleasant elements on Berk. Life isn’t all fun and games… there are still snowstorms, hailstorms, and tasteless residents.

However, the delivery of this speech here is more tongue-in-cheek than outright dismal. Not only that, but Hiccup identifies a far more meaningful upside about his home than sunsets and sturdiness… he can jubilantly exclaim dragons occupy Berk peacefully. His actions have changed life for the better. Despite losing a leg, you can tell Hiccup mentally is doing far better at the end of the movie than the start. And the last thing he mentions – dragons – is the single most important thing to him. He is excited to have found happiness and friendship in his bond with Toothless.

Start of How to Train Your Dragon 2

This is Berk. Life here is amazing. Dragons used to be a bit of a problem, but now they’ve all moved in. And with Vikings on the backs of dragons, the world just got a whole lot bigger.

Berk has not undergone global warming in the last five years. It still boasts the kind of balmy weather that will give you frostbite on your spleen. However, Hiccup does not need to complain about the snow, the hail, the tasteless inhabitants of Berk, or anything negative at all. Five years later, Hiccup is extraordinarily happy, loving his home so much that he claims, “Life here is amazing.” What a great change this is from when he called Berk “located solidly on the Meridian of Misery”! Instead of a depressed, outcasted young teenager, we see a much happier and well-loved young man. Hiccup can laugh easily amongst Astrid, race with dragons, and receive the love, attention, and pride of his father. So “Life here is amazing” is not an objective description of Berk; it is a subjective description of Hiccup’s cheer. What used to be a bit of a problem is no more; many of Hiccup’s old emotional problems from the time of HTTYD 1 have dissipated into a much better life for all of Berk and for Hiccup himself.

The world has become a lot bigger and greater to Hiccup personally since he has befriended Toothless. There is so much more wonder for him to see and understand now that his life can be shared with dragons.

There is, though, one area in which Hiccup is not comfortable. He is restless. On the cusp of adulthood, he is uncertain where his future will lead him. He does not know what his place will be in Berk, only that he does not feel he is cut out to be Berk’s next chief. Thus, he spends much of his time away from Berk, mapping out the world. The world indeed has become a whole lot bigger for Hiccup since he has ridden on the backs of dragons… he is exploring a great deal of the Barbaric Archipelago, trying to learn who he is. And the world is a lot bigger from a pure psychological standpoint too… as a young adult, Hiccup is thrown into many more problems that he never experienced as a boy. His world – and his responsibilities – have expanded.

End of How to Train Your Dragon 2

This is Berk. A bit trampled and busted and covered in ice, but it’s home. It’s our home. Those who attacked us are relentless and crazy. But those who stopped them, oh, even more so! We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us. We are the voice of peace, and bit by bit, we will change this world. You see, we have something they don’t. Oh, sure, they have armies, and they have armadas. But we… we have… our dragons!“

There is so much here in this final dialogue from the second movie. I don’t think I could ever talk about it all. Hiccup is speaking about Berk, his home. Hiccup is speaking on behalf of Berk now, the chief over the tribe. And Hiccup is speaking about his heart.

Consider the first sentence Hiccup says. Berk is “a bit trampled and busted and covered in ice… but it’s home.” This is, of course, true of a village which has literally been attacked, nearly demolished, by an ice-spitting dragon. Berk is in a horrible state… but still boasts the comforts of home. The Vikings, stubborn as always, shall endure. We know they have stubbornness issues. We know that the destruction of the past night shall not deter them from progressing forward to a good future.

Similarly consider what Hiccup himself has endured. He has just lost his father to his best friend. His emotions are definitely “a bit trampled and busted,” and it will take him a long time to psychologically recover from the blow to his heart. He might feel numb, icy, on some days, but he will endure. He will persevere. Because there are the comforts of home to celebrate in Berk… the comfort of a best friend who is still beside him… he can stand up and find strength in his home and heart.

And "it’s our home”. This is an important reminder for Hiccup, recognizing that he is speaking for all of Berk now, not just himself. He’s speaking about himself as a chief. Furthermore, it’s the home not only for him, but also for the dragons. The chief and the alpha both preside here.

The next statement Hiccup gives shows his tenacity, his determination to press forward and pursue the good despite the hardships he has endured both inside and out. “Those who attacked us are relentless and crazy,” he says. “But those who stopped them, ohhhh, even more so!” Hiccup has just stood up against Drago. He will continue to stand as the chief of Berk. He is saying what he has already done, what he is steeling himself to continue to do, and what we will undeniably see him do in the third movie. There will be much for him to tenaciously fight for, be it the emotional struggles which have attacked his heart, or the physical war he has experienced against crazy men like Drago.

“We may be small in numbers, but we stand for something bigger than anything the world can pin against us.” This is so true of both Hiccup’s entire tribe and the chief himself. Hiccup has always been the small runt, someone people have looked down upon, Drago even recently telling Hiccup Stoick must feel shame for his son. People might belittle Berk because it is small, and people might belittle Hiccup because he is very young and still a bit scrawny. He certainly does not look like chief material at first glance. Yet Hiccup and Berk have the ideal of peace – a word Hiccup himself uses in the next sentence of his monologue. He and Berk indeed stand for something incredible. Though people might underestimate Hiccup or all of Berk at first, that does not mean they are unimportant. That does not mean that their beliefs and ideas are nothing. On the contrary, they are important to the entire world.

Hiccup again ends his monologue with the exclamation that Berk has dragons. It shows how they can stand and fight; the dragons have fought off Drago and his Bewilderbeast. It shows how they have found peace; instead of fighting against dragons, or using dragons as weapons, the two species live together in harmony. And it shows furthermore that Hiccup still has one very special dragon for him. Hiccup still has Toothless. Despite the horrible tragedy that occurred which threatened to wrench Hiccup from his best friend forever, he still has Toothless. This is not just a blanketing statement Berk has dragons, then. It is a statement of enduring friendship and peace despite the odds.

It’s about him and Toothless.

This speech is thus very personal to Hiccup. He might truly be speaking about all of Berk here. He might be giving a very brave proclamation as their leader that they will stand up against men like Drago, instead seeking peace. He also is talking to himself, pep-talking himself, and talking about himself. And indeed every single time we hear Hiccup say “This is Berk,” we also get a great glimpse of “This is Hiccup.”

it ok to not be ready

Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready. 

notice here that consent is revoked without ever saying no and consent goes so far beyond yes/no!!!!!!

Avatar

Make sure you and your partner are always communicating and on the same page, because if you give consent you can change your mind at any time.

this is my favorite comic on tumblr because the person initiating is the one stops it because the other person is uncomfortable and that’s just a fantastic message to spread.

Avatar

And look this isn’t a “new relationship” or first time thing either, my partner and I have been together going on 9years and sometimes, usually due to my disabilities, I just lose the moment or something isn’t working and never once have they gotten mad about it even if I’m mad at myself.

But here’s the kicker, don’t just be with that person, be that person. Pay attention to your partner.

Do you ever just wanna learn a new language to flirt with others so they dont understand (hopefully) or like be able to start your own business or something... because i know i do sometimes.