Even though the winter was bad, spring is happening and it is nice
You think I live in a city where trees drop pollen. I live in the fucking woods

Even though the winter was bad, spring is happening and it is nice
You think I live in a city where trees drop pollen. I live in the fucking woods
the truman show dir. peter weir
this is what dating an instgram influencer must be like
I always thought this was the most unrealistic part of all of The Truman Show. If Truman grew up with people around him regularly stopping their normal conversations to do a quick product ad, not only would he think it was normal, he’d also start doing it himself. He’d drive the producers nuts by regularly doing ads for things they weren’t paid to do ads for. No Truman! Talk about the toothpaste! The toothpaste! The mouthwash company didn’t pay us nearly enough for you to hawk their products! Maybe we can charge them an unexpected Truman marketing surcharge. Now how do we get him to talk about the toothpaste? Maybe if we have his wife tell him his teeth are getting much whiter.
But he would really drive them crazy by doing ads for things that aren’t products. “Mmmmm, water! Cool and refreshing.”
Alternative interpretation: Meryl’s actress is panicking in this scene. Truman is becoming more and more aware of his situation, the illusion is breaking, and they’re all in trouble. Her and everyone else’s coverup skills were tested to the limit when he drove over the bridge. Her improv skills are breaking down. Not knowing what to do, she defaults to an advertisement - at a bad time.
Most of the time the advertisements are better-placed. For example, Meryl showing off the Chef’s Pal, saying she got it for free at checkout. That’s more within the realm of normal human behavior. If you get something really neat for free, you’d probably share the news with your spouse. Or “Y'know, you really oughta throw out that mower. Get one of those new Elk Rotaries!” These aren’t conversation-stoppers, they’re natural and plausible enough that, if they did affect Truman’s own speech patterns, it wouldn’t be very perceptible.
But to start shilling chocolate like that at this moment? Right after the crossing-the-bridge incident? When Truman is doubting the authenticity of their relationship and the entire world around him? I’ll also note her tone of voice is different, and more obviously artificial, from the earlier product placements, which fit more in line with her character. Even considering his manipulated view of human nature, that is not something normal people do. And that further breaks the illusion for him.
And yes, this would be what dating an Instagram influencer is like
And yes, this would be
what dating an Instagram
influencer is like
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
I’m bored and don’t really feel like working tonight. I’m going to bed soon, and I don’t want to lay there in my bed feeling anxious because I didn’t work. I’m currently feeling the need to get up and go do something or at least play a game or something. I want to fill up the void of my not-doing-anything self.
Any suggestions?
Try baking something. Bread, maybe. It gives you something to do with your hands and then you have baked goods to eat as a bonus.
I don’t have the ingredients, but I do have some instant ramen. I guess I can go make that
uh hey so you guys what the fuck ever happened to the haiku bot
uh hey so you guys
what the fuck ever happened
to the haiku bot
Beep boop! I’m haiku bot. Sometimes I make mistakes. Here is my Ko-fi.
And the last word that the universe spoke was the word “Ouch!”
This feels like it could be a quote from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Are you robot
Surely you jest
I mean… that’s what a human would say, but also a robot pretending to be a human
See, I am not a robot
I know, I have a pretty standard no bot policy. With the exception of like haiku bot.
A “pretty standard no bot policy”? I’m not sure what would go into such a policy. Would it be like my policy that says it’s illegal to be a bot?
its time for war
US foreign policy simulator
wow psilocybin is quite epic
I don't know what "psilocybin" is but I hope it involves stoned catgirls
I have great news for you Frank
Alright, it's time to learn about psilocybin. I can only imagine what sort of wild things would happen if people started stoned catgirls on psilocybin
I've got two sides, time domain and frequency domain.
Am I the time domain? Am I the frequency domain? What are you, Freud?
kinda surprised i didnt know fanfiction.net was down until just now but huh
TIL
It's really strange how much of the fanfic community apparently is unaware of this
*gives you a hug and a nice warm blanket*
I hope you have a great day frank
*puts the blanket back in the laundry basket*
:( oh no, that blanket was for you frank. You can keep it
*pulls the laundry basket closer to me like it was a baby*
*gives you more warm laundry to cradle*
I hope you stay warm frank
*eats a few more blankets*
*gifts blanket upon blanket to frank* consume, grow wise
*craves blanket like a wild animal*
Hey frank do you enjoy the colors of the sky?
Only when I am on tumblr
Wait isnt that all the time?
I am not on tumblr all the time
5 favorite words
I don't "have favorites" -- all words are to me a little brother or sister that will be lost if I don't write them down
my fav thing in wildlife research is the concept of animals being “trap happy” meaning the same animal goes into a trap on purpose again and again after it’s caught the first time bc it was like “hey…..there was food in there and Zero (0) predators and then they just let me go in the morning…….”
on one hand it fucks up our data but on the other hand……..I Get It you Funky Little Rodents
if it were pouring rain on my walk home from work at night and I found a big metal box full of pizza and a bed where no one else could bother me and the only condition is that in the cold light of day I’d have to face a bunch of scientists weighing me and then letting me go on the sidewalk I’d probably end up in there a lot.
Fun Fact! I used to volunteer at an Aquarium in Texas.
In that aquarium, we had a lot of turtles who were deemed unreleasable because of various reasons. A couple had horrible eye sight, a couple were disabled, etc.
And then… There was Einstein.
Now Einstein was unique among our turtles.
The first time she washed up on the shore, she was in good health. She had some scrapes from washing up, I mean, but those healed just fine. Absolutely nothing serious was wrong with her. They tagged her, and they released her.
And she washed up again. Again, she was checked over, and again, there was nothing wrong. They let her go again.
The third time she beached herself, it was decided that she… was just going to keep doing this. So she became part of our rehabilitation program because there were only two reasons for her behavior: Either she had some kind of turtle mental health issues that lead to her repeatedly beaching herself, or… she had realized that when she got beached, people brought her to a place without anything trying to eat her, and she got free food.
I think you all can guess what the person who named her thought about it.
I think you all can
guess what the person who named
her thought about it.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED
YOU KNOW THE HAIKU BOT???
OFC YOU DO
YOU KNOW THAT MESSAGE HE PUTS AT THE END OF EVERY POST????
"Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up."
YEAH???????
WELL THATS A HAIKU TOO
Beep boop! I look for
accidental haiku posts.
Sometimes I mess up.
NOW YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME THATS NOT THE CUTEST THNIG YOUVE EVER HEARD
“Beep boop! I look for
accidental haiku posts.
Sometimes I mess up.”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
What is it about my page that entices you? I’m not interested! Get lost!
Let’s say someone is looking for porn and they put “wife caught her husband cheating,” into Google. There are a lot of porn sites (and some news sites) with that title. So Google has to decide which order to show them in, because most of the time, people pick something off the first few pages of Google.
Google wants to have the very best “wife caught her husband cheating” (or whatever else you search for) sites on the first page of the search. Google has several ways to try and decide which site are the best, but one of them is that it looks at how popular it is by seeing how many other websites link to it. If a lot of other sites are linking to it, it was probably useful to them, so Google will put it on the front page.
So if I’m a sleazy pornsite owner, I could create like a thousand websites and make them all link to my “wife caught her husband cheating” site, and act like a whole bunch of different websites thought it was pretty great. They’d be like “xdfgt .com”, “xdfgy .com”, “xdfgh .com,” just nonsense addresses nobody else was using, or whatever. I’d try to make Google think my site was awesome, because all these other websites are linking to it.
But Google has already caught on to that. Google would know “xdfgt .com” was a crappy fake website, because nobody else is linking to “xdfgt .com”. Any website that is only linked to by crap websites is also crap, as far as Google is concerned. Google won’t put it on the first pages of search results.
So instead let’s imagine the sleazy pornsite owner creates a thousand fake tumblrs instead, like “xdfgt.tumblr .com” and “xdfgy.tumblr .com” and “xdfgh.tumblr .com” and just puts one or two posts on them to add links to the “wife caught her husband cheating” porn site. Google can still tell those tumblrs are crap websites, because nobody else is linking to them. But the difference is … on tumblr, the sleazy pornsite owner can make your website link to him.
Let’s say your tumblr is “mostlyaestheticandfunny.tumblr .com”. If “xdfgt.tumblr .com” likes one of your posts, there’s link on your blog to “xdfgt.tumblr .com.” Somewhere on “mostlyaestheticandfunny.tumblr .com” it will say “xdfgt liked this” with a link from your blog to “xdfgt.tumblr .com.”
Google’s bot looks at “mostlyaestheticandfunny.tumblr .com” and it sees that your blog is a good website. People are linking to it (talking to you or reblogging from you), you write like an actual human being, you have nice pictures, you update sometimes, you aren’t a bot. So Google decides your blog isn’t a crappy scam website. Then it sees the link to “xdfgt.tumblr .com” and it thinks “oh hey, a nice website with good stuff written by a real human linked to this “xdfgt.tumblr .com” I guess maybe “xdfgt.tumblr .com” is a decent website too.”
Then it looks at “xdfgt.tumblr .com” and it sees the link to the porn site with “wife caught her husband cheating”, and it says, “well, I guess that “wife caught her husband cheating” site is a good site. I know that because there’s a good site linking to it here at “xdfgt.tumblr .com.” I know “xdfgt.tumblr .com” is a good site because “mostlyaestheticandfunny.tumblr .com” linked to it, and I know “mostlyaestheticandfunny.tumblr .com” is a good site because it is updated and writes like a real person and people talk to it and link to it.”
So basically the porn bots are using the fact that you have a good blog to make themselves look better and to try and trick Google’s bot into thinking they’re very popular and it should put them at the top of its list when people search Google for porn.
It’s really annoying! It would be really nice if the people running tumblr figured out a way to not be free advertising for every sleazy porn site on the internet
hey wow thats actually really useful! and its written in a way that i (a bird with no knowledge of the wizardly internal workings of a website) can understand!
FINALLY AN EXPLANATION
My gender is that one unique car in a sea of white SUVs
My gender is that
one unique car in a sea
of white SUVs
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
while studying for my final i’ve decided the pyramid of cestius is one of my favorite monuments in rome. gaius cestius was, for all intents and purposes, a fucking nobody.
dude was a mid level bureaucrat who decided “fuck it, I want my tomb to be a big fuckin pyramid.” and built it. and you know what? i can respect that.
this wasn’t a trend or anything. he just decided that the egyptian pharaohs had pretty kick ass tombs and decided he was good enough to warrant one.
The fact that it is just standing there… at the street.. with a wall going right through it.. It’s like someone just dropped a pyramid in the city and everyone went like aw shit and then went in with their lives like nothing had happened..
But what’s even funnier is that most of the architecture was obviously build afterwards so that means that city planners actually went aw shit and pretended it wasn’t there like there’s a wall that was literally build “through” the pyramid askdjdsff
That’s exactly what happened! When they were building the Aurelian walls they just decided to incorporate it because
In the middle ages they saw it and went “Wow….this must be very important.” There was also another pyramid called the Pyramid of Romulus on the other side of the city so they all went “Oh my god. If that’s legendary Romulus this must be his brother Remus!” until they found the inscription and realized it was just some fuckin loser government dude.
it would take too long
to change the plans for the walls
and build around it
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
boytits where ?? 😳
The bots are getting better than us at shitposting this needs to stop
If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"
She makes a mean whisker sour
Does she have anything non alcoholic?
Just putting all these pics together in one post
And, because this series wasn't cheesy enough:
Okay, but would y'all hire rats? Or do they not get along with mice?
Jim Rat's specialty is ratwurst
I posted this by itself already but might as well share it here.
A special romantic Hanukkah pic starring Hera and Muriel of the Squeakeasy crew (yeah I haven't mentioned it before but I've named the mouse lady Muriel). After a hectic holiday season, this lovely lesbian couple deserve some passionate private time.
I'm not Jewish myself, but if any of my followers are, Chag sameach!
And a special thank-you to @anarcho-skamunist for the post that started it all. Drawing up all these comics and seeing everyone's kind words and funny responses really kept my spirits up throughout this year. So much fun and so many puns!
I posted this by
itself already but might
as well share it here.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.