its just jokes

Oh my god I thought . Well. Anyway

‘You better not be ninth doctor green screen lightning kill yourself when i get there’

Me:

The Kelpie, Herbert James Draper

cbt

she let me hit cuz i'm brave

like that little toaster

I always am about to go to sleep at a beautiful 11pm and then something happens to me

looks at you

looks at you

@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized

hey  mom wjat

ok. I'm in the world. now what am I supposed to do

different schools of thought I suppose

Live streaming from work

Why Do You Need To Do This

STOP THIS.

Judy there are limits

@lifeisdetermination

@princessdawnauroreon

Here are my contributions

a team of the most skilled writers in the country couldn’t achieve the same visceral reaction to anything that this clip got out of me the first time i saw it

We act like mass migrations are this mystical force in animals and yeah it's incredible that some species just inherit the memory of one river to head to but what THEY experience is always either "this place sucks now, I'm leaving" or "oh God I'm so horny and I'm even hornier in this direction"

tumblr being all adults nowadays is so funny because my mutuals are either unemployed chainsmokers or Ezra, Bioengineering PHD Candidate at University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill

one of the important lessons to learn about adult life is that the gap between an unemployed chainsmoker and a bioengineering phd candidate is actually not that large

Leverage had a lot of well-researched things to say about the real world, but the one I always come back to, from The Double Blind Job:

Sophie: These are not small fines. Last year, my department handled a case where the company had to pay out $2.5 billion.

Hoffman: Oh, yeah. Everybody heard about that. But what the news didn’t tell you is that that company made $16 billion on the same drug. That fine was 14% of the profit. 14%. That’s like tipping your waiter.

me driving to work while this girl i knew in high school is currently in italy for the next month with her rich ass boyfriend

the only problem with call me maybe was that it was released 4 years too late. it deserved to be the soundtrack to the collapse of major american banks. it deserved that. but instead its cultural impact and significance were diminished by the short lived and horrifically destructive rise of fucking gangnam style.