i hate how engaging in unhealthy behavior feels like i’m treating myself. self destruction shouldn’t feel this good.
this blog is supposed to be somewhat light and sometimes even funny but the truth is that having bpd sucks and it’s not easy to live with it.
i love you all and i hope yall love yourselves as well 💖
someone: i love you
me: i’m not saying i don’t believe you but i don’t believe you
trauma-tape
bpd culture is having an unhealthy fixation on romance but also thinking you’re too broken to ever be Truly Loved™
Anonymous asked:
I have a very fucked up relationship with my emotions which makes it impossible for someone to become my FP unless I have a crush on them :/ I literally just....only become obsessive/dependent on someone if I want to/am dating them ffhfhsdjshba why am I like this
honestly i think for me it’s the other way around like i obsess over someone and then i want them to be my everything but maybe the order really doesn’t matter if the result is the same
oxyjenn-deactivated20210115
I hate when I purposefully trigger myself because I KNOW it’s going to end in misery but this stupid bitch (me) does it anyways
if you’re really sad and your abandonment issues only get worse with every person you allow yourself to get close to clap your hands : )
trauma-tape
me: feels kinda bad
me: triggers self and turns kinda bad into very fucking bad so i can at least properly suffer™
Source: trauma-tape
trauma-tape
me: feels kinda bad
me: triggers self and turns kinda bad into very fucking bad so i can at least properly suffer™
Source: trauma-tape
for insecure angels
- your partner still loves you even when they are away.
- your friends still loves you even when they are away.
- they will sill love you even if they have other friends.
- they weill still love you even if you are not okay.
- they will still love you even if they don’t reply immediately.
- they will still love you even if you don’t reply them immediately.
- they will still love you even if they can’t talk in a exact moment.
- they will still love you even they are not around you 24/7.
- they will still love you even if you don’t love some things about yourself.
“they are not replying!”
MAYBE
- they fell asleep.
- they are busy.
- they don’t feel okay to talk right now.
- they had to immediately leave for some reason.
- they are studying.
- they are working.
- they are practicing a hobby.
- they forgot to reply by distraction.
THEY STILL LOVE YOU.
“they are distant!”
MAYBE
- they are going through a hard time.
- they are hurt by something you said or did (don’t get paranoid because of it, try to talk to them).
- they are very busy with work or studies.
- they are planning something good for you.
THEY STILL LOVE YOU.
“i made a mistake and hurt them.” you can always apologize! everyone makes mistakes.
“they made a mistake and hurt me.” tell your feelings to them.
“they will leave me, i know it.” check if it’s not your paranoid thoughts acting out and tell your feelings to them, we can’t be 100% sure if someone will abandon us.
“they have someone better in their lives.” i personally don’t believe in “someone better”, because we all have good and bad aspects, but it doesn’t even matter if they have someone better, because they are with you because they like you and not because of someone else or whatever.
“i’m not enough.” YOU ARE ENOUGH FOR THEM. THEY LOVE YOU.
“i’m ugly.” YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR THEM. THEY LOVE YOU.
- Everything I said relates to healthy relationships only. I don’t support abusive relationships and please take care of yourself and look for help if you are being abused.
hey guys sorry i haven't been very active lately! i've been having a really rough time, but things are better now and i'm trying to get better! thank you all for sticking around and i'll try to answer your questions as soon as i can!
list of Moods I have:
- ???
- “this is the worst I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been sadder than this single moment in my whole life”
- “this is the best I’ve ever felt and I’ve never been happier than this single moment in my whole life”
- ANGER
- ?????
- fear !!
c-ptsdofficial
Dissociating during conversations
- *smiles and nods* - “mmm yeah” - “uh huh” - “wow”