@bordejo

living minute by minute
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father, i am the shape you made me

Venedig-Venezia // Sophocles, Electra // Adam Raised a Cain // Katie Maria // rosa linn snap // the pain scale // ? // gillian flynn

Mothers & Fathers

@heavensghost | Jasmine R., “Untitled” | Berthe Morisot, “The Cradle” | @honeytuesday | Unknown | Alain de Botton | Léon Lucien Goupil, “Motherhood” | Chen Chen, “Poplar Street” | Ella Wilson, “Take Care: Mothers, Daughters, and Inheriting Self-Hatred” | @maiabaia | Kazuya Akimoto, “Mother and a Child in the Mirror” | Li-Young Lee, “Folding a Five-Cornered Star so the Corners Meet” | Aaron Smith, “Primer” | Catherine Lacey, “Cut” | futngina | Jules David, “Vice and Virtue: Misery” | Rupi Kaur, “The Sun and Her Flowers”

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if we forgive our fathers, what do you we have left?

shameless // Desireé Dallagiacomo // Jamaica Kincaid // euphoria // jobless monday, mitski // Haddon Sandblom // ? // the end of the f world //Smoke Signals // Simone de Beauvoir, The Woman Destroyed

on being the daughter of the family

if my body could speak, blythe baird // i put the coffin out to sea, lisa marie basile // @/belovedbi // ? // been a son, nirvana // elektra, sophokles; translated by anne carson // ? // churching, kristin chang
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““يا بعيده بالمسافة، يا قريبه بالشعور””

— “You are far by distance, You are close by feelings”

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

DID YOU KNOW I RECENTLY HAD A BROTHER DIE, TOO?

the bear / phoebe waller-bridge / lilly dancyger / david byrne / dan pearce / suzy kassem / toni morrison / joseph fink / rabbi joseph telushkin / emily dickinson / richard siken / lone twin network / aanchal malhotra / frank ocean / gabrielle calvocoressi / maurice sendak