anachronistic but eminently likeable

WORM UNSTRINGED. THE ALLWORM

tags from coloredcompulsion:

“Could you be the chosen one?”

“I am very much the guy who’s here.”

i tried the “ask your mom what she would do if you were a bug” trend

asked my dad too

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

this is my all time favourite post I've ever seen on reddit everyone read it please

😘 niles/CC

he made all of these

Shiny sylveon: my primary and secondary colors swap!

Shiny umbreon: My shiny is a fan favorite amongst the community

Shiny espeon:

everyone who said "sorry but he's not going to die he's going to be getting the best healthcare available" must be feeling pretty embarrassed rn

"Potions and things like that" has me rolling on the ground. A royal is gonna die in 2024 from drinking an "elixer" made from mare's piss and mercury. Holy shit.

thinking about fleetwood mac and how they actually sang songs about each other. and performed them. about how much they loved or hated each other like what the fuck how

I mean can you imagine. singing about how somebody broke your heart and they're literally harmonizing. they're right fucking there. they're in touching distance. insanity! complete insanity! I would either break down crying or fully snap and break their neck

fucking. silver springs!!! 'you'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you!' no fucking kidding he won't stevie he's literally behind you playing the drums! absolute madlads

Not to free-associate to another of my mum’s fave bands or anything, but this is also why I lose my mind over ABBA’s The Winner Takes It All. Björn, recently divorced, writes a song about a divorce with his writing partner Benny, then records it with his recent ex-wife Agnetha singing lead vocals.

Even if you believe them when they say it’s not about their divorce specifically, that’s a wild as fuck thing to choose to do.

rewatching lotr, as you do, but there's something hitting about Isildur getting killed by three arrows (to the back) while abandoning his men versus Boromir getting killed by three arrows (to the chest) while doing everything to save Merry and Pippin and the influence of the ing over men, idk but my heart did a thing when i noticed it :(

“If The X-Files was a 90s anime.”

credit: MabooCraboo on imgur

???

oh it's a drug alright

the problem with being creative is that you start to feel very guilty when you haven’t created anything in a while

do you get upset when a field isn't ready for harvest at all times? your seeds are doing mysterious things in the dirt. but you have to leave them hidden in the dirt or they won't grow

Jesse I have to sell you to one direction

yo mr white bitch let me at least put on my pink converse, throw my hair into a quick messy bun and put on some mascara to accentuate my blue orbs first bitch