Okay, but what if there were dinosaurs that did the heron thing?
The key shortcut of “windows key” and “.” held together has changed my life
like
emoji access? supremely powerful 🙂💖
But
Kaomoji ?
The year is 2013 and I am unstoppable ヾ(•ω•`)o o(*￣▽￣*)ブo(*°▽°*)o
this long-kept secret was absolutely not meant for the public. But the power is in our hands, now…
you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie.
this has forty notes. that’s forty more notes than expected.
THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes
LISTEN i don’t normally engage in Discourse but this information is DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
the point of the riddle isn’t to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irrelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it “if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will they tell me?”
if you asked the truth-telling one, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because they’re misleading you, so
ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.
“who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn’t matter irl–”
WRONG AGAIN! story time:
A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.
now, i’ve been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand.
I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum.
the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting “ask him what color your hair is!” and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum
remember, kids, it doesn’t matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests.
always be ready for a riddle contest
Here’s a thing that usually doesn’t come up when people try to criticise this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will collapse when you’re halfway across.
They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question.
If you ask “What’s two plus two?” than great. You know which one lies but you also still don’t know which bridge you can cross and can’t find out.
You played yourself.
i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run.
^ Look at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all.
did cinderella ever talk to her man about his faceblindness
#'i met the perfect woman but it was a special occasion'#'so now wherever she is her makeup and hair are probably different'#'this is my nightmare'
rip prince charming, who had to let the whole kingdom make jokes about his foot fetish for the rest of his life because every blonde with an updo looks basically the same as far as he can tell
they call him prince charming because he’s always really polite to strangers to cover for the fact that he doesn’t know if he’s supposed to recognize them from somewhere and when you’re a prince that shit starts wars
best part of this post is all the people with prosopagnosia confirming that they literally never questioned why the prince was incapable of hiring a sketch artist even in versions without masks/glamours
PLEASE click the link
Please, please, for the love of god, Click. The. Link.
sunshineinwinter
The link is to the best retelling of Cinderella you’ll ever read
Oh. My. Gosh. Is there a chapter 2?! I need more. CLICK THAT LINK.
i gottah… pull the thing.
I PULLED THE THING OH GOD!
Most likely what happens next is the second raven swoopsin and grabs some of the kill that the wolf was eating.
Srsly, they do this.
Wolves, hawks, eagles… Top predators, all. Except when a raven annoys them enough to give up their lunch. Ballsy amazing birds.
I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch
Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!
He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!
Alfred: Oh my you’re right
There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well
(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING
Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!
Alfred:
Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”
@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this
Bruce: I have a code.
Alfred: And I have a gun.
Bruce: time to remove the guns.
Alfred: good fucking luck.
I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.
Anonymous asked:
Hi just want to say your story about the superhero was incredible. It broke my heart and I loved it
AN ASK ABOUT AN ORIGINAL THING I WROTE? 🥺
I wrote two superhero stories but only one has been getting likes in my activity feed recently so I think you mean my construction superhero short story. (checks the post) oh uh wow that’s getting more traction than I realized. Shit. So that’s why a bunch of people followed me recently.
Anyway, I don’t know if you are still watching my blog anon but since you liked my story have another snippet I whipped up just for you.
--
Excerpt from an interview with prisoner #4598, also known by the code names “Constructor,” “Destructor,” and “the Architect.” Transcript incomplete due to being salvaged after the attack on the prison records. Interview conducted by Mitchell Newman.
---
MN: Okay, well, since our memory experts can’t see anything in your head but muck and have established we’re not going to get any information out of you, anyway…
4598: Lethe is very good at memory stuff.
MN: Right, yes, of course she is. So since you’ve forgotten all useful information and I have to visit you at least for two hours a week just so this doesn’t count as solitary confinement--
4598: Could I talk to Sandy?
MN: Ms. White hasn’t asked to speak to you.
4598: Right.
MN: Anyway as I was saying, since I have to be here anyway why don’t you just tell me about yourself? Give me the whole manifesto.
4598: (no answer).
MN: Right. Well. Let me just continue then and you can answer if you feel like it. Sound good? Good. So, here is my question. What do you think about what people call you now? The first time you got arrested, you didn’t escape for months. Why?
4598: (no answer)
MN: Everyone thought it was because you needed to know the makeup of the material in order to shape it. When you stayed put they thought they’d gotten you with their Akonite walls. But it turns out you never needed to know that and you were just… sitting in there anyway.
4598: Right.
MN: What stopped you from escaping?
4598: (no answer)
MN: Did you think that you’d be let out if you played along, since you had good PR then?
4598: No.
MN: Okay. Was it that you still believed in the justice of the system?
4598: No.
MN: Second thoughts about trying to stop the construction of that stadium?
4598: Uh, no.
MN: Alright then. Why?
4598: (no answer)
MN: Is it related to your apparently still-developing powerset? Are you hiding some ability or--
4598: Depression.
MN: What?
4598: I was depressed.
MN: Ah.
4598: Everyone I had looked up to wanted me in jail. I thought no one would agree with me, so there was no point.
MN: Right.
4598: Uh, that’s something Sandy taught me. It doesn’t really matter what powers you have. If you want to get things done--big things, like building cities--you need lots of people. The things I’ve done, rebuilding… It's always because people have helped me. Cleared away poisons so I could go in the area. Gave me materials. Helped me learn.
MN: And without those people, you decided you couldn’t do anything?
4598: Yeah.
MN: So what changed your mind and made you decide to enact the largest villain breakout in history?
4598: It…
MN: What’s that?
4598: I had to try. It wouldn’t be right to just give up immediately. I couldn’t do it alone so I decided to find people who could help.
MN: And those villains--many of them serial killers and terrorists--these people shared your altruistic goals?
4598: (no answer).
MN: Right, sorry. That was a bit blunt on my part. I just mean it must have been a difficult group to work with.
4598: Hm.
MN: You’re pretty famous for not killing anyone yourself, even now. I really believe you don’t want people to die if they don’t have to. How do you reconcile that with working with, oh, Inferno. You know, the one that burnt innocent congressmen alive?
4598: (no answer).
MN: Some of the villains who escaped that day went on to kill innocent people, even if the ones you became friends with didn’t. Do you have any regrets?
4598: ...Skinner killed three children before we caught him. Toxica got… one, but made 48 people very sick for a while. Um, the others--I counted it all up. The amount of people who died due to the actions of villains that escaped because of me was 28.
MN: So you--
4598: The attacks your heroes do on other countries have casualties that number in the hundreds. Thousands sometimes.
MN: We were tracking down a highly dangerous villain with a power that could--
4598: That could not do half of that damage. They never can. The serial killers and terrorists--they’re hideous people. But there has never been one with the power to do what American “heroes” do every year.
MN: That’s because we kill them first.
4598: And then there is the damage afterwards. The sickness. People who die in the rubble. People who have their entire homes destroyed only to be turned away as undesirables when they try to find a home somewhere else.
MN: That’s not equi--
4598: You asked me if I have regrets. Yeah, I do.
4598: I regret every single fucking base I built for all of you.
---
The rest of the transcript is unsalvageable. Prisoner #4598 escaped shortly after, as containment measures on the subject once again failed. Future heroes are advised to use lethal force on sight, as containment has proven impossible and these transcripts indicate de-radicalization is unlikely.
it’s ok batman we all make mistakes
not doing batman fanart anymore bc nothing can top this
ruthkim-deactivated20190617
Presenting:
The Lady Tali Zorah, heiress to the Zorah Shipping, Mining, and Mechaniks Company
&
Sir Grunt, Gentlekrogan and Knight Bachelor of the Order of the Urdnot Empire, knighted by the Urdnot Clan Shaman
Tony Masseffect takes care of his people.
Everyone always laughs at how Grunt buys action figures in the Shadow Broker Dossier- but let’s not forget that Shepard keeps 50 million toy ship models in their room.
Liara walks in…
oscarofhearts
Liara no
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Journal 3 shitpost doodle dump part 2! (Part 1 is over here and part 3 is over here)
To be honest, I don’t think I’m done yet. There’ll probably be a part 3 as well because there’s just so much more I want to poke fun of. This book truly is the gift that keeps on giving.
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