Man walks into a pet shop and sees a parrot for only $50. Standing next to the cage the man asks, “I wonder why he is so cheap?” “Because I am defective,” came the reply. “I’ve got no legs.” A little surprised the man asked, “Well how do you stay on your perch?” The parrot draws him closer and whispers, “I have a big penis. I just wrap it around the bar and stay put. Go offer the owner 30 bucks for me. He’ll take it.” The man walks out of the store with the parrot and takes him home. They become best of friends. They talk sports, politics, current events. The man could not be happier. One day the man gets home from works and the parrot beckons him over with his wing…“Psst…come here. I need to talk to you.” “What?” “It’s about your wife.” “Yeah, what about her?” “And the postman. Today he knocked and she answered the door in a skimpy black negligee.” “What!” “Yes. And then they embraced in a long passionate kiss,” the parrot went on. “Holy shit…that can’t be possible.” “It is. Then they went over to the couch and she slipped him out of his uniform and then things started to get really steamy.” “Well,” the man asks,“what happened next?” “I don’t know,” said the parrot. “I got a hard on and fell off my perch.”
this bitch empty, TWEET
Have any of you heard of the Harvard MIT Pigeon Prank?
An MIT student dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt went to the Harvard football stadium every day of one summer, blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or birdseed to coax neighborhood pigeons down onto the field. At Harvard’s opening game of the season, upon the referee’s first whistle, it’s said that hundreds of pigeons descended onto the field, causing a half-hour delay.
Ah yes, classical conditioning put to good use
if you got like a 100kilo bag of glitter and opened it up and left it in the path of like a tornado i think that would be interesting. i dont care abt ecological damage btw
I do. 100kg bag of seaweed based glitter.
i dont. 100kg bag of enriched uranium based glitter
wait isnt uranium denser than lead how heavy would a 100kg bag of uranium be
thyrell.
just kill me
Did you guys know that the most recent version of sharks have fins that are kinda leg like and they like to walk up onto land?
no way i must have missed an update!
The Epaulette shark is only about 9 million years old as a species, making it the most recent branch in the shark family. And it is slowly but surely evolving into a land animal
How many Apple engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They no longer make that socket, you just buy a new house.
If you like frogs. Or possums. Or cool builds. Or happiness. This is the video for you.
