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๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ฒ ๐“ญ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ญ,,,

@blushmeskinny

๐“ฌ๐”€,,, 48๐“ด๐“ฐ๐“ผ ๐“น๐“ป๐“ธ ๐“ป๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐”‚
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reblogged

My ed is so weird

Like I'm afraid of rice, but I can have rice cakes

I can have cola zero, but not if its in a bottle, it can only be in a can.

I don't mind chips, but i wont eat potatoes. I just, i don't understand man.

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Eating disorder logic

- Iโ€™m lonely Iโ€™m going to isolate myself - Iโ€™m hungry Iโ€™m going to starve - Iโ€™m full Iโ€™m going to eat - I feel enormous Iโ€™m going to binge now - I can tell Iโ€™ve lost weight Iโ€™m never eating again - Iโ€™m happy Iโ€™m going to trigger myself - Iโ€™m sad Iโ€™m going to pretend Iโ€™m fine - gum has 5 calories no - ice cream has a million calories Iโ€™m going to eat a whole 7 pints

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Anonymous asked:

How do you fall back in love with life?

  1. clean your room. ย clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesnโ€™t have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. ย clean the dishes. ย sweep. ย take out the trash. ย peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. ย take a long shower. ย scrub behind your knees. ย brush your teeth. ย (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. ย the end result is worth it.)
  2. pull out your notebook. ย it doesnโ€™t need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you donโ€™t usually write in, or that you havenโ€™t touched in a while. ย fuck moleskins. ย the yellow legal pad will work fine. ย sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. ย count clouds. ย describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. ย sketch the cracks in the walls. ย note the shape light makes when it enters a space. ย talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. ย what sounds are there? ย even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. ย remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. ย remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. ย your world is fathomless. ย it has potential.
  3. drink cold water and try to eat something that isnโ€™t processed. ย it does not need to be fancy. ย buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. ย eat it outside. ย if youโ€™re someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. ย take your fucking meds. ย remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. ย your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesnโ€™t change its inherent worth and splendor. ย take care of it.
  4. read a novel. ย underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. ย read a novel like itโ€™s poetry. ย read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. ย watch a movie you havenโ€™t seen before. ย if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. ย take your time. ย let yourself bask. ย if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down โ€“ marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
  5. your chosen family is important. ย remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. ย the love has no obligation. ย it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. ย you are not a burden. ย if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. ย when they need you, listen and be gracious. ย always be gracious. ย the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
  6. listen to new music. ย link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. ย listen to something that you donโ€™t usually listen to. ย we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. ย we are falling in love again. ย the soundtrack needs to be specific to that. ย 
  7. allow yourself to indulge in romantics. ย press flowers in old books. ย play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. ย dance in your room. ย wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldnโ€™t wear it in public. ย write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. ย write poetry, even awful poetry. ย revel in its awfulness. ย eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market. ย 
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aljdkskjx

reblogging for myself because life has been beating me down lately

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Honestly, Iโ€™m at my best when my ed is at itโ€™s worst. My room is clean, I dress nice, I wash my face more, I whiten my teeth, I wear makeup, I do my hair. For some reason the only thing that pulls my out of my depression spiral is my ed and the only thing that pulls me out of my ed is my depression. Idk if anyone else feels like that? Idk I just always feel better when Iโ€™m losing weight and excersizing and not eating. Idk maybe itโ€™s my body thinks Iโ€™m finally being healthy? But Iโ€™m not? Soโ€ฆ idk, itโ€™s just really weird.

Iโ€™m in this post and I donโ€™t like it.

Iโ€™ve tried to put this into words so many times but couldnโ€™t and this is exactly how I feel

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Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

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reblogged
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sknniboiii

me, 16 hours into a fast, drinking peppermint tea and watching counting calories for amberlynn reid videos

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reblogged
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baepsa-ed

my ed coming back during recovery to come join my other mental illnesses:

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Dyed hair girl thinspo โœจ

(not me, follow me for more)

Slim legs ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

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