and why he oulka dots

black ticked tabby

Item: early draft Dishwash Bot

in law school, my mom took me to this stress retreat because my family was vaguely aware i was a suicide risk. and they didnt allow phones, so i brought this huge bag of books. and one of the options for "destressing" was this fake cave grotto thing, where they'd decorated a room to make it look exactly like an underground cave and the air was like -10 degrees, but there was a like 4ft deep pool in the middle that was kept super super hot, so you would just switch between the hot and cold. and they would bring you an endless supply of this weird syrupy drink thing that was like super caffeinated and tasted like sugar and mint. and so i spent multiple days sitting half submerged in this fake grotto drinking mystery liquid and reading. and i have to be honest i really did feel less stressed

Please please please I need to go there.

some royal jewels were stolen from the louvre which is unfortunate for historical reasons but you gotta appreciate a classic crime. so many crimes are online these days it’s nice to see heist culture is still alive

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

"Peggle make phone calls" has become shorthand for "fuck it, whatever" for me but no one ever knows what im talkingabout and it's also longer (longhand?)

peggle make phone calls

It’s a balance. Knowing how to do the basics is useful for special occasions and job interviews. Same with identifying cosmetics that match your skin type and tone.

But it can be frustrating when you try so hard and still don’t get it right, especially when you have grown up with a lot of judgment about appearances

I am a full-time author of science fiction and fantasy. "Professional" for me is conventions where people dress up like elves.

And I still get treated like I'm better at my job when I'm wearing a visible amount of eye makeup.

I did a book tour where I tested this, varying the amount of makeup I wore for each appearance, and documenting my results. No makeup, people acted like I didn't know what I was doing. Clear mascara/light foundation, they were a little more willing to believe I could read.

Glitter eyeliner and cartoonish eyeshadow? I was suddenly a professional who could do my job like a competent adult.

I lost some faith in humanity and bought several new eyeshadow palettes.

if you tell yourself “I’ll deal with it later” enough times with enough frequency you can slowly destroy your life. follow for more tips

Extremely irksome as an autistic person to ask a clarifying question and be told you’re “splitting hairs” when you genuinely just don’t understand because there isn’t enough information. Like, buddy. This is me at my most basic level of “what do you mean by that.” You wanna see me split hairs? If you really saw how thin I could slice a hair you’d hurl

I will split a hair into smaller halves every hour my demands of mutual participation in communication are not met

Every time I see a duck I think to myself that I want to pick up that duck. There is a sort of quality of the duck that makes it feel like the act of picking up the duck would somehow be analogous to those strange videos where people use knives to cleanly cut through multilayered cakes. There would be a sort of accumulative act even without taking permanent possession of the duck. It would rather be more like pulling the lever on some ancient machine which makes a counter increase by one. The duck is the lever. I hope my meaning is clear to you all?

the duck was designed with affordances that suggest picking it up

when you’re out at a restaurant or a coffee shop or a target or whatever with your friends and you overhear/eavesdrop the same snippet of some stranger’s conversation, and you look at each other for a second to check that you both heard this stranger say the same weird/funny/baffling thing and just break out in knowing grins and quiet laughter… that’s a love language

I was eating alone at a mexican restaurant once and a group of college kids were chatting over tortilla chips. There was some jabber and then..

“ ..we had to climb over the bob wire!”

“Dude, did you just say ‘bob wire’?”

“Yea man, that spiky shit!”

“You actually think it’s called bob wire? Like fucking Robert wire? You think it’s called Robert wire?”

“Well what the hell do you think it’s called?”

“It’s BARB wire you idiot! Like Barbara wire!”

*the third guy* “Oh my god. You guys. BARBED wire. Because the wire has barbs, it is BARBED.”

“Oohhhhh!”

“Fucking Robert and Barbara wire. Fuck you guys.”

I hope Robert and Barbara Wire are in a happy and committed relationship.

there is always some fucking laundry and dust and some other shit