This looks like a fucking parody post, or an edgy edit, but it’s 100% official real Flintstones.

Clarification: I don’t hate this book, I love it, it’s amazing. It’s just that taking a step back and looking it out of context is still really funny. Especially the line “We participated in a genocide, Barney.”

ok but imagine them in their cartoon forms saying this dialogue i’m

can we have some context to this, perhaps?

Bedrock is having a mayoral election. One of the candidates is a violent war mongering asshole that riles people up against the lizard people. This reminds Fred and Barney of their time in the army.

Back then the father of said violent candidate was riling people up against the “tree people”. Fred, Barney, and other soldiers fought what they believed to be a defensive measure against the tree people. Turns out, it was actually an invasion, in order to kill off the tree people and take over their forest to build Bedrock.

That’s what Fred means when he says he and Barney participated in a genocide. They literally did.

(Extra fun fact, Barney adopted a tree person baby after the war, and his son Bamm-Bamm is the last tree person.)

just fucking read it

http://readcomiconline.to/Comic/The-Flintstones

There are a lot of interesting things about this post but the AK-47 shaped spear is what really got me

This is just as wild with the context

Some of my favorite moments in the series

From the foreword to 2021 print of the comic.

yknow what would be a fucked up phone feature

No, I don't. Please, proceed.

if whenever you plugged it in you had to manually enable charging mode and there was no built in way to automate it

That would be fucked up.

yknow what would be more fucked up

Football field full of viruses.

Abraham Lincoln teeth sculpture.

Really big vampire.

Inside-out Sweden.

if they added automatic charging mode but paywalled it

Yeah that's pretty fucked up.

Weakling. You will not survive the winter.

My wife says this is the work of a psychopath

spicing up conversations by saying 'you really believe in that' at the most basic inane things

like this

I was trying to bore my 4 y.o. grandsone to sleep last night by counting slowly outloud 1 to 200. Around 170 he asks "are you just making stuff up?"

the fact that Laius Dungeonmeshi isn't one of the site's Autism Icons makes me upset his backstory is "no one understood him so he spent all his time drawing weird monsters" tell me that is not the most autistic thing you have every heard

not just his backstory, current day laios

1. spends all his time studying monsters so much that he has a wealth of intricate knowledge on almost all kinds and excitedly shares this with anyone who seems a little interested

2. can't pick up on social cues, has to be told by his friends when he says something weird (it happens a lot) and spent months adventuring with Shuro and could never tell that shuro didn't like him. he thought they were friends the whole time when shuro thought he was making his feelings obvious without being rude

3. this might be speculation on my part but he seems to have a very high pain tolerance. he gets beat up by monsters a lot, and even chooses to get his leg sheared off in order to defeat the dragon that ate falin, and doesn't ever seem to be severely affected by pain. marcille sometimes has to tell him to stop for a moment so she can heal him or else he would just continue with his injuries

You know, it's very funny that the right-wing had a fat bug up its ass about "virtue signalling" when they can't stop doing shit like this

It's like: yes, thank you. you have expensive kit and an agreeable muscle-to-fat ratio and you have the same opinion most other people have. thank you for signalling your virtue to us. We know that you are a good american boy. Liked shared and subscribed.

You have signaled your virtues and the signal has been received loud and clear, thank you. You really want us to know you're ready to hurt bad people.

except. I gotta say.

why did you go to all that effort only to wear these fuckin little boy shoes

Magpul PMAG is about 2.5" across. Measuring the pixel count in this, front to back on the showing side of the pmag is about 32 pixels. That means each inch is 12.8 pixels. Measuring from between his feet to the point in the helmet where his head would stop, using the position of his night vision as a reference, this man's height is 849 pixels. Divide 849 by 12.8 and you get 66.32". This man is Five feet, Six inches tall.

what happened to the skeleton war, you guys used to love the skeleton war

(tag via clanfearrunt)

don’t leave out the best part

I’ve never seen the second photo before.

not a dream

in terms of Tumblr, what does this mean? just saw it in one of my posts which was about Columbo

coincidentally right next to

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

I see people talking about the Brave browser in the whole Firefox vs chrome debate, and while people rightly point out that it's just chromium and that they do shady cryptocurrency shit, I never see anyone point out that Brave's founder and CEO is Brandan Eich.

He founded Brave after massive protests against him becoming CEO of Mozilla, resigning after 11 days. And the reason for those protests? He donated a lot of money to the Prop 8 campaign to ban gay marriage.

So just remember: it's not just another chromium fork, it's not just a browser with cryptocurrency bullshit, it's also the browser founded by a homophobe because he got kicked out of his former organization for being a homophobe.

Also, he invented Javascript. I'm willing to believe that maybe he has grown on the gay marriage issue, and made amends for his former mistakes. But Javascript cannot be forgiven.

ok but seriously why is “much older internet friend uses you as their personal suicide hotline” such a universal experience for kids on the internet. fyi for any kids/teens following me if an adult tries to make you be their therapist just flat out block them you dont have to explain yourself or try to reason with them and ur not responsible for their mental well-being. just block them

Tumblr is so funny because you can make a post like "hey do not mix bleach and vinegar in your cleaning, you'll make chlorine gas and you do not want to make chlorine gas. It is dangerous to mix these two specific chemicals together", and the comments are like

"Um vinegar isn't dangerous?? My mom cleans things with vinegar all the time and we have never had lung issues. White people are insane." (<- does not use bleach, missing the point)

"OH MY GOD BLEACH IS CHLORINE GAS? NOBODY EVER TOLD ME I'VE BEEN CLEANING WITH BLEACH MY WHOLE LIFE, I WILL DIE." (<- has literally never used vinegar in cleaning, and never mixed the two, missing the point)

"This is just stupid fearmongering, we use bleach and vinegar to wash the floors all the time, OP is lying." (<- does not actually know what "vinegar" is, and is confusing the word for something else)

"Yeah this is true enough but also keep in mind that this kind of household cleaning product chlorine gas is too weak and unreliable to use for domestic terrorism purposes." (<- raises concerns, but potentially has a point)

what the fuuuuuck

this is a short horror story

Please make sure to reblog this with the explanation you guys:

The toddler doesn’t know Alexa is a name; as far as they’re concerned it’s a word that makes things happen. If the kid was saying “please play baby shark” it would mean literally the same thing to them because they don’t really understand language yet.

The toddler is mimicking adult behavior because they have seen adults say things that start with “Alexa” and have learned that starting a request with “Alexa” makes it more likely to be fulfilled. This kid has learned something about how their world works purely through observation! This isn’t a bad thing! It’s just been misapplied and it’s up to the parents to correct their speech as they grow enough to understand the difference.