Outrunning Karma

yeah just come over and make out with me thanks

anyway! the banana bread vendor at the farmers market is called "better than sex" but this year they changed it to "almost better than sex" which means the bread is just worse this year or girlie got some good dick since last summer

#whitewomantears

She knows her science

i don’t know why i love this so much but i do

menacingly funky

im not a people pleaser anymore im a huge cunt now

me after setting one (1) boundary

I have a friend who is very into sumo.

Trying to casually understand sumo is a little like trying to casually understand cricket. But I more or less get the basics just from watching tournaments with her.

But the one part of sumo that will always baffle me, even AFTER it was explained, is the giant macaron...

I legit thought these were photoshoped until I sat down and saw a match myself.

If they win a Sumo tournament they get a giant macaron.

pussy so fat thanos had to snap twice

This is the funniest post on this site

can anyone translate whatever the hell my little brother has going on rn

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!! Wasnt there a post like that? Like someone liveblogged being attacked and they just played possum because they felt awkward?? Or maybe they pretended to drown in someone’s pool just to be a dick and didn’t know when to stop until they were hidden in a closet. Or something

Am I making sense to anyone?

You are my hero for finding this

bonus:

anon please what does this mean

i am fucking cackling like a dumbass thank you this is so funny i love you. slutty little candy man is on my resume now

Revoking your right to participate in White Boy Wednesday :/

you are NOT permitted to play that funky music

a club but the dj just plays the animal crossing soundtrack on repeat

ppl would be slipping and dying on the floor bc my pussy would b dripping so much tho :/

dante say anything like this again and I’ll send one of my guys to assassinate you

You know what? These are the exact kind of questions I have at 3 am

*makes a Kevlar vest out of 46 Hershey bars glued together*

I hate that I'm about to watch this video just so I know the answer

17 bars

Yet another use for the infinite chocolate hack

I can make it through way more than that. Bullets are weak.

You can jump through 18 hershey bars?

You just have to want it enough.

you see perry the platypus as a child i was never able to express my gender. now i will force fem the entire tri-state area

this was a joke but i just wanna point out that this is canon

The force fem bit too. His evil scheme that episode is to give everyone dresses.

It’s called the “ballgown-inator”

oh my god