Character Development Questions

@fougue

english: coconut oil

french: :)

english: oh boy

french: oil of the nut of the coco

IM CRYINGNFN

english: ninety-nine

french: :)

english: oh no

french: four-twenty-ten-nine

english: potato

french: :)

english: oh geez

french: apple of the earth

french: papillon

english: :)

french: don’t

english: beurremouche

French: pamplemousse English: :) French: pls no English: raisinfruit

english: squirrel

german: :)

english: oh dear

german: oak croissant

english: helicopter german: :) english: uh oh german: lifting screwdriver

english: toes

spanish: :)

english: no don’t

spanish : fingers of the feet

leave fingers of the feet out of this

bosnian: ananas croatian: ananas czech: ananas danish: ananas dutch: ananas finnish: ananas french: ananas german: ananas icelandic: ananas italian: ananas maltese: ananas norwegian: ananas polish: ananas romanian: ananas slovenian: ananas swedish: ananas english: :) spanish: do it english: pineapple

english: mushrooms

japanese: :)

english: no don’t

japanese: tree children

english: cyan

dutch: :)

english: don’t do it

dutch: apple blue sea green

help me out !

if ur parents are from another culture than the one of the country u live in + don’t mind being interviewed, bls lmk 💖 i need it for a project

singapore / 08.08

me: the rich guy is cute but a whole alcoholic :/

my sister: u will inherit faster

sometimes . your motivation is empty. but u gotta yeet yourself into the tasks anyway

the only person who can yeet you is yourself

@2singularity

fandom for an American TV show: don’t watch it online! watch the show on TV when it airs so the ratings go up! show your support!

me, a mere European: 

fandom for an American TV show: then at least watch it for free on their own website and support them through ads and hits

me, a mere European:

fandom for an American TV show: ok fine, then AT LEAST buy the DVDs when they come out and support the show through that!

me, a mere European:

FUCKING THIS OMFG

Do you want piracy? Because this is how you get piracy.

fandom for an American movie: please go see this underrated, important movie on opening day so execs will know how much people love it!

me, a mere European, looking up the release date: This movie is playing at 5am, on a Monday, in a city 100 miles away, down a sewer

fandom for an American TV show: it’s on Netflix!

me, a mere European: *American Netflix

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own :)

me, in this economy: a what

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband :)

me, a known gay: a what

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby :)

me, an asexual: A WHAT

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman! me, a nonbinary: a what

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man me, a nonbinary: a what

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere? me: a watt

my god

my parentsHagrid: you’re a wizard

me, Harry Potter: a what

i’ve been sitting around thinking about making this dumb meme for 2 weeks now if that tells u anything,,

It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.

HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD

More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.

I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right? 

Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place. 

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. 

And by god, we will eat anything. 

Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us

We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!

On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.

Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.

Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.

Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow. 

The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.

Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.

We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it. 

Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel. 

They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?” 

Humans are not born with dedicated skills and knowledge but are designed for open ended learning and assimilation. They can even assume the characteristics of other species, when the young is raised by non-humans.

In the category of Humans are Space Orcs:

One of the ways humans get stronger is through pain. Like, literally, when we develop stronger muscles it’s through tiny tears in the muscle that grow back stronger. Martial artists develop strong bones for hitting stuff by deliberately hitting things hard enough to cause microfractures which heal stronger. 

Same with our skin; the whole process of calluses is just damaged skin protecting healthy skin, but you can also develop heat calluses–I grabbed a 350 F pan out of the oven bare-handed this afternoon, and have picked up hot coals out of a fire without injury because I’ve spend years developing a heat callus on my fingertips. Which is done by handling hot stuff and getting just slightly burned over and over and over again. 

We develop cold tolerance the same way; humans from extreme northern climates can comfortably be fairly exposed in relatively cold environments for far far longer than warm-climate humans, but to develop that tolerance you have to be in a cold place for a long time. 

How horrifying would that be to aliens who don’t develop like that? Look, this human can punch through a cinderblock. This human can pick up massively heavy things. These are unusual traits in humans. Human-steve can handle steaming-hot engine components but Human-ron cannot. Why? Because Human-steve has hurt himself over and over and over again on purpose. 

The aliens are baffled. Why would Human-steve do such a thing??? oven mitts exist.

“chuffed doesnt mean what you think it means”

it means exactly what i think it means its just some stupid word that literally has two definitions that mean the opposite thing

what the hell

This makes me really chuffed

This post is quite egregious

Well I’m nonplussed by this whole post.

goddamnit.

all of you go to hell

And you wonder why i am boggled at times

These are called contronyms! A word that is its own opposite.

Why the fuck do these exist

One theory is that the sarcastic use of the word became exceedingly prevalent and because another dictionary definition. 

Are you telling me that we were such sarcastic shits it literally changed our language.

speaking as a linguist: yes. that is exactly what happened. isn’t it beautiful.

I hate this

according to JKR, lockhart was born in 1964, which would make him 28 at the time of “chamber of secrets”

do you realize what this means

most of lockhart’s coworkers, who all hated him so much, may have had to teach him at one point.

snape would’ve been in school with him, albeit a few years ahead.

imagine teaching/going to school this raging narcissistic dumbass, and then he graduates and from then on, no matter how bad life gets, you think, “at least i’ll never have to deal with gilderoy fucking lockhart ever again”

and then

he gets famous

he’s hailed as a hero

your students and your mum all have crushes on him

and then

he gets hired at your place of work

tl;dr: lockhart is lucky no one in the staffroom stabbed him by midterm season

If Gilderoy was only 28 that means he was a CERTIFIED FUCKBOY guys

HC UNLOCKED

And as an added slap in the face to Snape, Lockhart was hired for the position Snape had wanted for ages and couldn’t even teach it right

The following is from this Pottermore article written by JKR herself:

Also Lockhart was born, canonically in 1964, only four years behind James and co., meaning that James and Lily were, technically, in charge of him in his third (?) year. How much do you want to bet that James was the one who gave him the week’s worth of detentions?

Okay first off I’m offended that he’s a Ravenclaw. Second of all, imagine how angry James would be at the DEFACEMENT OF HIS SACRED QUIDDITCH FIELD. Lily, meanwhile, would be holding back tears of laughter, along with Remus and Sirius because, “James, you’re just mad you haven’t done either one of those things yet.” And Sirius would be all, “Well, Lily, to be fair to James he already has a big enough head - it’d be hard to create a bigger version of it, even with magic.”

The Last Words Of Famous Writers

When you’ve dedicated your life to words, it’s important to go out eloquently.

Tag yourself. I’m HG Wells.

I’m James Joyce

No, but no one is explaining Ibsen!!

He had been really fucking sick for days, and woke up from a feverish night. His nurse? Wife? Asked him if he was feeling better. He smiled, said “On the contrary!” And died.

Supreme power move from my man Ibsen.

Oscar Wilde is me

@acanthepeira @rgfellows @oystercakes tag yourself I’m Voltaire

I’m J.M. Barrie

W.C. Fields, honestly.

I’m Fields, goddammit

i’m roald dahl LMAOOO

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

If I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months.  It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering of the calender.

Good news, though: whoever fucked it up did in fact get stabbed.

I don’t ship Drarry but with that being said, I will accept no other Drarry prompt than them stubbornly competing to outdo the other for the sheer drama.

It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.

But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”

But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”

Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.

“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”

The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”

“Prove it.”

“Fine.”

It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.

They’re still going at it six months later.

“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”

“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”

“Um, Draco—?”

“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE, PARKINSON!”

i couldn’t resist :P

@4taes

*follows dreams* *dreams dont follow back* *unfollows dreams*

@4taes

Honestly, if you don’t need a kitten stealing a pancake on your blog, it had better be because you already have a kitten stealing a pancake on your blog.

worth watching for the end

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades