Blondie_4404

oh my fuuuu--

(source: j_kaluzhnaya on Twitter)

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

Reblogging because it’s a damn potato and I want to encourage people to assume potatoes are magical.

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

Barry: Eat the rich!

Bruce: Oh thank Go-

Clark: Oh, I intend to 🥴🥵

It’s Batman’s turn. Bruce needs to decide whether to marry himself for the money or throw himself off the cliff.

Okay but can you imagine what kind of identity reveal situation that would be?

“I would fuck —-, I would marry —-, and then I would commit suicide.”

“Batman, that’s not how the game is played. You have to choose for Bruce Wayne.”

“I did.”

“…WHAT?!”

“I would kill Bruce Wayne just to get him out of this conversation.”

This works best if the reveal comes after literally everyone else has played, and half of the people have said “I’d marry Bruce Wayne for the money” and the other half have not only said that they’d fuck him, but been reasonably graphic as to how.

Flash: So, tall, dark, and scary, what’ll it be? Are you going to marry Bruce Wayne so he can fund all of your sick gadgets? Maybe you’ll be a gentle lover to him like Aquaman here, work him over like a hunk of meat like Supes? Or maybe Brucie is the one person in the world you break your code for. Come on, what’ve you got for us?

Batman: -pauses- Honestly, I don’t think there will ever be a better time for this. -pulls off his cowl-

Justice League: -horrified screeching-

pLEASE- 😭🤚

World Heritage Post

“Fuck, marry, or kill: Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman.” 

Bruce sighed in his seat. Of course the other members of his team had decided to venture into Gotham’s people for this ridiculous game they had decided on. Initially it had started off with random members of the Justice League, but then the founding members decided to continue the game after he had cut in, advising against creating unneeded tension between other teammates. 

Diana had asked the question, smirking while staring at Batman. He knew what game she was playing. It wasn’t like any of them could use his civilian identity against him- as none of them knew it. If all things went well, he would not have to choose between his civilian identity and various relationships he had while out of the bat costume. 

my hearing has been aided and holy shit is this how you guys hear all the time

I can hear the birds calling to eachother!! im sat inside my house and I can still hear them!!

my cats purrs are so loud...I never knew how happy he was when I petted him 😭😭

bees have such nice buzzes!!!!!

rustling leaves sound nice. motorbikes do not

I can hear the river running through my village...this world has so many beautiful and amazing sounds

if you rub your hands on a leather sofa. that sounds excellent

gravel sounds fantastic btw. go kick some gravel immediately

CRUNCHY LEAVES

I still can't get over jinx purring. I never knew how happy he was or how much he loves me. he's been purring since I got home, every time I say hi to him. my husband says he's always purring like that, I just never heard it before

thank you @dwiwediblino for suggesting a clicky keyboard. I just tried it out and what a FANTASTIC sound

Have you heard the pitter patter sound of your cats toes yet? Always enjoy that sound

yes!! when we came home and I called him downstairs for some food I heard him leap off the bed I think and his excited patters down the stairs

food in frying pans really do be sizzling...

the sound of old crinkly book pages oh my GOD I have found my new favourite sound

went down to the village river and it was so nice!! the river is pretty low rn because of the lack of rain but when it rains lots I want to go back and see it go fast and hear it

also! hearing the rustle of grass as I walk through it!

and and and i threw a stone into the water and it made a very satisfying splash sound :)

What do you think of this noise?

that's such a funny sound I need to get some sheets of metal and laminate some paper immediately omg

popped my hearing aid on when I woke up and just listened to my husband breathe next to me. he's here, I get to wake up next to my best friend every day. he's alive. he loves me.

then he started snoring very loudly and it was even worse with the amplified sound

you guys can hear the ticking of watches?? they're so loud!!

when you light a cigarette and you hear a faint crackle as the dried leaves catch fire. very good.

I was hanging my washing outside and I shook out a pillowcase to hang it up and it made a very good whoosh sound with a slightly sharp crack!

the crackling sound of a candle wick being lit!! what a fun noise!!

a bird landed on the tree branches above my head and I heard it!! I thought birds were silent but theyre not!!

heard my neighbour come home from his daily bike ride and the bike made a clicking sound??? :0

im outside in my garden with my easel doing some painting and I was drawing on the easel and it makes a scratchy noise?! the pencil was scratching! it makes a very good sound indeed!!

all of you who were suggesting a cold drink over some ice...you were all so right for that

sizzling barbecues!! loud and fun!! different foods make different sizzles

I CAN HEAR THUNDER THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT PITCHES TO IT WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWWOW

IT ACTUALLY RUMBLES!!! JUST LIKE IN THE BOOKS!!!!!!

I read somewhere that its common in Arab culture to refer to someone close to you as your organs, implying you can’t live without them. Like how in english someone would say “my heart” (qalbi), in Arabic someone would also use “my liver” (kabidi) “my lungs” (riati). Notably, “my blood” is “Dami” which is funny bc it’s Damian’s shortened nickname.

Damian’s brothers have been using the nickname for years with or without knowing. I propose that as Damian gets closer to them, and Tim in particular, he responds in kind.

He starts to refer to Tim as “tuhali.”

…it means “my spleen.”

(Tell me if I messed up translating)

You’re about to be sacrificed by a cult, but when the demon appears before you, it speaks with the voice of your high school friend and says “Hey man, haven’t seen you in forever!”

Tim Drake and Bernard au????

Batman AU where the batfam is an extension of Gotham’s will so they can’t leave the city without taking a piece of it with them

Bruce, ever practical, has a batarang made from a steel piece off the bat signal (not that he’d be able to throw it but it’s a backup nonetheless)

Dick, Jay, and Tim have made it Robin tradition to carry pebbles in their pockets (the justice league has come to associate the soft jingling of rocks with the arrival of the Dark Knight)

Steph finds pretty rocks and quartz to crack open and share with Cassandra- and they cycle through their newest finds (cass does keep a shiny piece of obsidian in her utility belt, it was the first one Steph gave her)

Duke keeps a corner from a road sign in his pouch, the reflective yellow paint matches his theme- (what better representation of the city than perpetual construction)

Damian reverently carries a piece of deep green sea glass from the harbor. The color reminds him of his mother, and he finds the beauty fitting. (The irony that the only way for him to leave his new home is an echo of the reason he’s there in the first place is not lost on him.)

I have more thoughts on this- also thank you to everyone who’s liked and reblogged ily <3

The item they take doesn’t exactly have to have sentimental value- it can be anything random

Early on in his time of knowing the Batman, Clark was perplexed. The man(?) moved like a ghost, melting into shadows or plain disappearing as of on a whim. As he paid more attention, however, there was one thing he noticed as (seemingly) mundane from the Bat. He liked to collect rocks. Every time Clark had come to get Batman for league reasons that took the man (he’s still not completely sure) out of his dwelling, he’d take a few moments to skate a hand across the ground-gentle and searching- until he came up with a rock he deemed just right before nodding and following Clark without a word.

Clark never said anything, too afraid to make Batman hide more of himself after being noticed.(as he was known to do)

Batman, dividing everyone up for patrol- Jason, you're with Steph, Damian, you're coming with me, Dick, you're with Cass. Tim, are you fine going solo?

Tim- Yup

Jason- Oh, come on! Why does he get to go solo?

Batman- Your brother gets to go solo because he doesn't have a kill count.

Jason- Oh, he SO does

Tim, whispering- It doesn't count if he doesn't find the bodies

I am a SUCKER for fics where Tim confronts that kill count, especially if Bruce or other family members find out about it along the way

Tim Drake would lie to your eyes without flinching

@sepia-stained-sunset

Bruce: I'm gonna ask this once. Who took the Batmobile last night?

Tim: Well–

Bruce *raising a finger at him*: No. Not you. You lie. Duke, who took it?

Tim: What the fuck?

Duke: What makes you think I wouldn't lie to you too?

Bruce: Because I love you but I didn't raised you. You had good parents, I didn't had the chance to ruin you yet–

(Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass & Steph in the background visibly offended)

it's Bully Him hours

I’m obsessed with them, actually. Original under the cut

Oh

How much does a box of paper weigh?

Oh …

I love how all these reblogs from ableds are like “boxes of paper are 20 pounds GOTCHA” as if every single person in a 60-person workplace needs to be able to lift a box of paper.

“What’s that, James? You tore your rotator cuff? Sorry, we have to let you go. What if the printer needed to be refilled and the other 200 people in this building were home sick? It just wouldn’t be fair.”

I deserve more intellectually challenging low-effort justifications for bigotry. Please try harder next time. 1/10.

hi! i’m a secretary with a lifelong congenital back issue that i had fixed via surgery.

the first thing i want to point out is that the box of paper that @bransrath​ posted is not the weight of the box. the 20 lb in that description is the paper weight, which is the amount of force a piece of paper can take before tearing. i know this because it’s described as copy paper, and copy paper is by default 20 lb weight. so posting that picture as a ‘gotcha’ in response to this post is ignorant at best and intentionally ableist at worst. in reality, that box probably weighs no more than 15 lbs. 

secondly, i have never had to actually pick up one of these boxes ever. and i have to deal with them a lot, given that i’m a secretary who, prior to the pandemic, was printing off 1000+ pages of booklets per week. i’ve never had to pick these up because you can literally just open them, grab a ream of paper, and take it to the printer to load it in. there’s no fucking reason why you would need the whole box. most places, like my office, also store them on or near the ground because they’re heavy, so what i do is a just drag the boxes to their designated corner until they need to be used. 

so “must be able to lift 20 lbs” is a tactic of discrimination, and there’s no excuse for it in office jobs like mine. i can’t actually lift more than 15 lbs and chances are, i’ll never be able to lift more than 20 lbs. i can still do all the duties of my secretary job, though, and it’s really easy to find work arounds for things like heavy boxes of paper. even i can, and my office literally employs 3 people including me. a weight limit is not a reason to deny someone a job. 

Most offices have a little wheelie cart you can load up with paper and then roll over to the printer. Even if you accept that lifting this one moderately heavy thing is indeed a job requirement, you don’t have to actually carry it the whole way, it’s really easy to accommodate disability on this issue.

Say it louder for the people in the back! 

what with all this talk of fanfic and ai and feeding other people's work without permission into ai programmes to 'finish' a fanfic or whatever... it's just showing how people see fic as 'content'? a fanfic as something mass-produced and official, something to consume at a distance and then talk about in a vacuum? something to use for your own purposes and something over which you have a claim?

fanfic is written by fans like you. written out of love and passion and a lot of effort and hard work, so that the author can share their enthusiasm for the characters and stories with other fans. like you. they aren't these untouchable, faceless people above you – they're your peers. gifsets, fanart, fanfic – they're all made by your peers. mutuals. friends.

if you want to know more about the fic, talk to the author! so many fic writers leave their socials in the end notes of their fics – talk to them! they're not going to be affronted or judgemental. chances are, they're going to be over the moon that you like their work and want to engage and discuss the characters and the themes etc. they made you happy with their fic, and you would be making them so happy in return! (and what does a happy writer do? write more!)

as a fic writer, I made one of my closest tumblr friends because she read my fic and left a really nice comment, and then we got talking and brainstorming loads of headcanons and fic ideas together! fic writers want to talk! if you enjoy someone's presence and contributions in a fandom, let them know!

and for the love of all that is good, don't feed someone's hard work into an ai programme!!! whether you post it (which is just horrible tbh) is beside the point – you're facilitating the plagiarism of their fic!

this is how we do it… the a/b/o uprising starts now