khobis-deactivated20170812
accept that you arent special to some people and move on
sydney's food tour in episode 3 elicits a feral almost indescribable joy for me. it's the way you get to watch her take in her surroundings. seeking. lost in thought.
you get to see the connections she makes with the world around her, how she gets from point a to b, how windows of all things inspire her final pasta shape.
you see her visualize, and think, and think some more (because it's syd and she's so fucking capable but so fucking anxious) until the dish she's working on progresses into something messy and unrecognizable.
she resets, she has to, and then an instant everything is clear. her dish eases into being. a complete thought.
and when she finally brings it into existence?
it's nothing like what she imagined. and, yeah, that makes me so fucking happy because she's not perfect but she's capable. it's not a matter of she can do it, she will. she might resign for a moment but eventually she'll make the pieces fit.
it means so much to see someone who looks like me—who struggles like me ultimately come out on the other side.
at least there’s fucking friends. at least there’s people who love you in this godforsaken world
would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no
Chris Millar — Adit 42 (brass, aluminum, resin, electronics, glass, 2019)
