#freebritney

I have spent so much time trying to be good and pretty and nice and easy for everyone.. neglecting myself and my needs in the process, getting angry that I’m being taken advantage of constantly, being expected to please people constantly, that I am not ever enough and then conflict triggers my traumas..

 flight, fright, freeze, appease.

I lost myself in giving myself to everyone else, in giving myself to Disney. Never feeling my emotions, forcing interactions and leaving drained. I have become hard wired to love and shove. I felt like I needed to be selfish for once but I didn’t have the tools to do that in a healthy way and it’s lasted far too long. I had the best of intentions but I was enabling harmful behaviors because I was afraid to speak. I’ve felt like I’ve had no control over my body. No agency whatsoever, frozen in fear.. so so hurt and angry.I’m turning 28 years old next week and I am still learning how to speak up for myself, how to feel again, how to unpack, heal, release and prioritize.

Pardon my pixie dust, Brittany coming through..