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you have not failed this city

@whitecanarrow / whitecanarrow.tumblr.com

prev. vigilantexarcher. 31. she/her. writer & procrastinator. multi-fandom/multi-shipper. Critical fan. Firm believer that GRRM is a bad writer.

does anyone remember someone telling you the cheerios joke as a kid. the one about cheerios that live in a cheerio caste system

so there’s this guy, right? and he’s a plain cheerio. they live in a world where there are three kinds of cheerios; there are plain cheerios, the underclass. the worst of all of them. then honey nut cheerios. a middle class. they can live a comfortable life. and then finally, the cinnamon cheerios. they are the wealthiest of all cheerios. they live a good life; they are powerful and rich and happy. and most importantly, once a year, they vote on a plain cheerio to ritualistically feast on. 

unfortunately, this year, it so happens that our cheerio’s number came up. he doesn’t want this to happen! he has a beautiful wife, and several kids. he has an okay job, and most importantly, he wants to live. so he goes to the cheerio bureau and asks what can be done about it. and they say, ‘well, there is one thing, but you might not like it…’. they explain to him that there is a notoriously difficult entrance exam, and any plain cheerio that makes it can be doused in honey nuts and become a honey nut cheerio and therefore be saved from the ritualistic eating. however, there are two caveats: the exam is ridiculously difficult, and to prevent just anyone from taking it, anyone who fails the exam will immediately be subject to death. the second is that plain cheerios are forbidden to fraternize with the upperclasses. he will have to leave his wife and children behind. 

he thinks about it. he talks it over with his wife. the first part doesn’t bother him; he would die anyway if he fails the test. the second part, though, is a lot. he kisses his wife and promises her that if he passes this test, he’ll find a way to find her again. she tells him she loves him and escorts him to the test center. 

(now, this part is very important, so pay attention) when he takes the test, he uses a green pencil, and he’s writing it on blue paper. green pencil; blue paper. the questions are hard. they’ve never tested him this hard in his life. he’s asked to remember obscure cheerio laws, nutritional calculations, seminal essays about cheeriodom. he’s nervous. he’s sweating. he doesn’t know if he can make it. but he looks down at his green pencil and he thinks of his wife. and that love pushes him through. 

the blue paper is being put through the scantron now. he’s waiting, bated breath. and the results come back: a perfect score. he now qualifies to become a honey nut cheerio. 

the dousing is easy; painless and almost comfortable, and suddenly, he has access to a whole world he’s never seen before. beautiful cheerio girls who never would have given him the time of day look at him. he can quit his shitty job and suddenly access dozens of better ones, with superior opportunities and pay. he’s invited to parties- real parties with punch and wine and snacks abound! it’s comfortable, and he settles into a routine fairly quickly. he never does learn what poor plain cheerio was chosen for the feasting in his place. 

he thinks of his wife at times, of course; his children, too. but suddenly, her cheerio face is not as beautiful to him as it once was. and with the new wealth of honey nut women who he can meet, eventually, he starts to… forget. he meets another woman; a honey nut cheerio with a comfortable 9-to-5 middle class lifestyle. she’s pretty and active and kind to him, and soon, they fall in love. they can afford amenities he never could before; they get an okay house, and he is happy. 

but proximity to power means proximity to a greener grass, and the more time he spends away from the plain cheerios, the closer he can see the lifestyles of the cinnamon cheerios. and it doesn’t even compare: cheerio yachts, constant parties, no need to work; they just live it up. the most expensive nights out, the most beautiful women, the biggest houses. it’s incredible. 

and eventually, a nice, pleasant, average lifestyle pales in comparison. he is saved from the death of a plain cheerio, but what kind of life is mediocrity? he goes to the cheerio bureau again and asks if anything can be done. the cheerio tsks. sucks her teeth. thinks. and says, ‘i’m really not supposed to do this, but there is another test you can take. if you pass, you can become a cinnamon cheerio. but this one is higher-stakes than before. if you fail it, you will not only be killed, but your friends and family will as well? are you willing to take that risk?’. the honey nut cheerio thinks for half a second, and just like that; agrees. 

the second test is even harder than before. he’s asked to solve complex calculations; to memorize the geography of the wheat fields from whence they came; to recite hundreds of pages of the cheerio code from memory. now, this time, instead of a green pencil on blue paper, he’s using a blue pencil on green paper. blue pencil; green paper. he looks down at the green paper, and he thinks of his girlfriend. he thinks of his life, and hers, and for just a split second, he thinks of his old wife. where is she now? and finally, he thinks of the life he could lead as a cinnamon cheerio. wealth, beauty, constant parties with no downsides. this is what he wants. 

the scantron is reading his results. he waits. he ruminates. the green paper comes out. he’s passed. 

he is doused in cinnamon. now, he is a god.

life as a cinnamon cheerio is just as perfect as he imagined it. he is happy. he is wealthy. he had to leave his last girlfriend and house behind, sure, but she is barely average compared to the cinnamon cheerio women, all of him are practically falling on themselves to be with him. he has a massive mansion, a cheerio yacht, a cheerio rolex; a fridge that dispenses milk on command. and even better, once a year, he gets to feed on a lowly plain cheerio. the idea that he was ever one of those things horrifies him now. can you imagine!? 

now, he’s at a party, thrown by a wealthy and popular cinnamon cheerio, and the decorations today are a little peculiar. all the flowers are green, and all the grass is blue. why those colours? why today? a beautiful girl sits on the edge of a milk pool, tanning and resting. he gets up and talks to her. she looks so familiar, but he can’t put his finger on it. have they met? 

they strike up a quick conversation, but it’s clear that she wants free drinks before they can engage any further. something about her has him so curious that he doesn’t mind at all. he goes over to the wine table, but there’s such a long line, and waiting would keep him from her. so he goes over to the juice table, but there’s a long juice line too. finally, he goes over to the punch table, and there’s no punch line.

🦀 time for crab 🦀

today i summoned 3 crabs and then caught all of them! what a harvest

💰 💰 💰

(also, 2 more things: 1: if that photo has multiple fictional characters, all of the fictional characters in that photo will be your roommates. 2: for characters that can only live in certain conditions, those conditions will be ignored, and they’ll still be able to live.)

(sorry if you don't like this content, I just saw one of those "fictional character in photo roll" posts and thought I would make one.)

I’d call out “I’ll be right back! Love you!” Then leave. The one who starts meowing is my son.

i say treats and only one rabbit turns into a tiny hurricane slamming to my shoe

I say “Katchka!” and provided that none of the identical cats are Russian, only one tiny head will whip around.

Whichever one comes over and grabs my leg.

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hickorydickory

Try to pet them and the one that bites me is my bastard son, Toni Pepperoni.

offer broccoli to the roomful of cats to identify Nugget

say “time for coffee!” and the dog that runs over excitedly to go for his morning car ride to Dunks is my Grayson

Genuinely shocked but I actually really liked The Batman????

The script more than Pattinson’s acting though tbh. He was fine in the role but nothing special. I prefer Affleck’s acting & approach to playing the character — as well as his action scenes — and I wish his Batman could have gotten a script with this take on the character instead of a Frank M*ller-inspired one.

I loved this movie as a Batman origin story without it having to actually be a we-see-the-Waynes-die/we-watch-a-training-montage origin story. And I loved where it leaves Batman as a character at the end.

This Batman is new at this. He’s figuring out his identity. He’s not all the way there. It borrows heavily from Zero Year & Scott Snyder’s version of the character (& shades of BTAS), and I’m here for it.

Really enjoyed Zoe Kravitz’s performance and actually liked Selina well enough (which was a big ask for me, as I’m usually not a Catwoman fan). I did, however, find the BatCat of it all lacking. I didn’t see as meaningful a connection there as the movie clearly wanted me to believe they had.

honestly frodo’s journey is so wild

like, imagine your uncle goes missing after his birthday party, and his old stoner friend from out of town tells you the souvenir he brought back from a vegas trip 80 years ago is actually satan’s mood ring and now zombie assassins are coming to burn down your town unless you and your lawn guy meet up with medieval hozier in a dark gastropub…

This is the funniest synopsis of lotr I’ve ever seen

…so when you get to the pub, stoner guy isn’t there like he said he’d be. instead, the creepy zombies show up, but your life gets saved by a very ruggedly handsome man who you later describe to your friend as not hot enough to be evil. now he’s telling you that you and the friends you dragged along need to take a backpacking trip, even though none of you except for the friend who did nothing but buy plants during early covid are outdoorsy. so this guy who looks like he’s never done laundry in his life takes you to what is basically beyoncé’s summer home, and you’re like how do these two even know each other, and then you find out that your rugged outdoorsman is actually the president-elect of america.

Okay, USA followers, you know how we all hate bank fees? I mean, you overdraw your account by $1.23 and you get charged $25.00? That's evil.

As of Jan 26, 2022, the Biden Administration CFPB (Consumer Financial Protection Bureau) is bringing the hammer down on junk fees. This is more than just bank fees - this is going after the junk fees on things like prepaid cards, loans, bank transfers, credit card late fees, even closing costs on a mortgage.

The CFPB needs public comments, like the opinions of real people who are affected by these fees, to build a case about telling financial organizations that THEY CAN'T CHARGE THEM ANYMORE.

The CFPB says it’s particularly interested in hearing from older and lower-income consumers, students, service members and people of color.

There's some good detail about the comments in this investopedia article. The easiest way to comment is to send an email to FederalRegisterComments@cfpb.gov. Include Docket No. CFPB-2022-0003 in the subject line of the message.

Note that these are public comments. They will be published online through the CFPB website. Don't include account numbers, social security numbers, or full names. Tell a story - tell about the time you overdrew your account by $1.23 and the bank took $35. Tell about how you signed up for a credit card and the company charged you a bunch of fees you didn't even know about. Tell about how you transferred money from your savings account to a checking account and the bank charged you $2.50.

These junk fees are a slap in the face of ordinary people who can't refuse to pay, and the CFBP is taking aim at the banks that charge them. To read what CFPB director Rohit Chopra had to say about this call to action, click here.

You have until March 31, 2022 to submit comments.

YES!!!!

FUCKING YES!!!!!!

Y'all know the hole I just asked your help digging me out of like, literally last week?

THAT HOLE WOULD NOT HAVE EXISTED WITHOUT PREDATORY FEES LIKE THIS

THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR SO MANY PEOPLE

DATES: Comments must be received on or before March 31, 2022.

ADDRESSES: You may submit comments, identified by Docket No. CFPB-2022-0003, by any of the following methods:

Electronic: http://www.regulations.gov. Follow the instructions for submitting comments.

Email: FederalRegisterComments@cfpb.gov. Include Docket No. CFPB-2022-0003 in the subject line of the message.

Mail/Hand Delivery/Courier: Comment Intake —Fee Assessment, Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, 1700 G Street NW, Washington, DC 20552. Please note that due to circumstances associated with the COVID-19 pandemic, the CFPB discourages the submission of comments by hand delivery, mail, or courier.

Instructions: The CFPB encourages the early submission of comments. All submissions should include document title and docket number. Because paper mail in the Washington, DC area and at the CFPB is subject to delay, commenters are encouraged to submit comments electronically. In general, all comments received will be posted without change to https://www.regulations.gov.

Hey guys. I'm a federal employee. I write regulations. I personally go through every single one of thousands of comments.

Unlike Congress, where sometimes your call or email about a policy goes into the void, every single comment about a regulation is individually read and tallied.

When a regulation is written it will say something like "The CFPB adopted X because it received 5,284 comments telling us to do that."

Write your comments.

It can be short. It can be long. It can go into detail about your experiences or your background. It can simply be an email saying "overdraft fees suck and should be illegal."

And it will affect policy.

Note, however, that comments are generally public record, so even though you're encouraged to give your name, don't give personally identifiable information.

Federal register comments are one of the least known yet most powerful ways to influence public policy.

Send in your comments!!