.

Bitch we are wearing the same thing

everything good makes you fat an addict or broke

seagulls are idiots they cant even read

girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick

my god that gif was made for this moment

seeing a hot stranger in public is a blessing

seeing the same hot stranger in public again is a sign

My mom was looking through our old National Geographic magazines and I found my favorite picture ever

I laugh every single time.

im as single as a single kitkat

I was never supposed to see a Kit Kat alone. That’s terrifying

HE DID AN INTERVIEW

THE ‘FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY’ GUY DID AN INTERVIEW

"hey can i have a couple of those fries"

Okay no. Fucking no. You think your sandwich is cute with peanut butter and jelly hearts, fucker? Well you’ll change your mind once you put it together and try to eat it. First you’ll get a mouthful of just bread and disappointment, then when you take another bite your mouth will be assaulted by copious the amounts of sticky peanut butter and sugary jelly and there won’t be enough bread to save you from it. A sandwich like that is what failure tastes like. The pb and j may be shaped like hearts but there’s no love in that sandwich. It’s about balance. Life needs balance, and so does your fucking sandwich. You disgust me. Don’t talk to me until you know how to make a proper sandwich.

Or you can cut enough around the hearts to make a heart shaped sandwich so that when you put the two pieces of bread together it gives it some room for the jelly and pb to spread out and it wouldn’t be just oozing out of the sides