no one slaughter me right now ok I'm so flooded with stress hormones the meat would taste terrible
Skeleton girlfriend who keeps locking your possessions in chests and guarding them with a rusty sword
When she’s losing in argument she falls apart on the floor and refuses to talk to you
Skeleton girlfriend always forgets her ulna at home 🙄
Skeleton girlfriend makes you answer a riddle while laughing maniacally every time you want to enter your room
the Sinner’s Prayer of may I not be found dead on the toilet, and if I am found dead on the toilet may I not be holding my phone, and if I am found dead on the toilet holding my phone may I at least have been reading something edifying and not composing a half-finished post as a ghastly conclusion to a life wasted.
where were you when you wrote this post? just curious
I was in the library reading Seneca in the original Latin.
that little voice you hear while grocery shopping saying you don’t need a snack for later is the devil btw
due to budget cuts our treasurer is now a little mouse pulling his empty pockets inside out and looking up forlornly with great big tears in his eyes
Knowing that JK Rowling agonizes over every individual mean tweet ever sent to her is amazing. I feel strangely at peace knowing she is currently trapped in a hell of her own making.
do not let another person borrow your special pens no matter how much you trust them
