ryan gosling playing YOU? ridiculish………….
me, charging any random cat i see: cat!!!!
cat: *fucking books it*
me, hulk voice: FRIEND STAY
me after discreetly tasting yet another himalayan salt lamp

my sister tried make a shrek cake for my dads birthday and i no longer fear death
captainsnoop-deactivated2020041
one time i was at the vet’s office and i overheard two of the vets making fun of a cat for being named soul eater
literally every barbie movie : And she was a Princess
me: oh my god she was a Princess
Pull me into a bathroom at a party and tell me how bad you want me. Then fuck me.
Me, outside the bathroom waiting for these two to stop fucking so I can pee:






