dionysian transsexuality

yudmeowsky :3

how

:3

I am visiting my friends' new townhouse (rural so cheap. constructed in like 70s, 80s) and I got very high and second day there while very high I noticed that one of their few ceiling lights was an old timey frosted glass clear glass mixed thing with these sort of glass bubbles that were formed to make grapes and vines and this discovery felt massive to me (high) so I looked at all the other ceiling lights in the house and none of the others were grapes they were just smooth and plain.

So I insisted the friends living there come up and look at the grapes, and neither of them had noticed the grapes! And then we were analyzing the grapes lightshade, it's virtues mostly but also some critiques, and how the light inside seemed asymmetrical, and was maybe missing a bulb, so one of the guys living there reached up and tried to get the cover off, and it fell to the floor, and it bouced off the floor onto the stairs, and bounced again, and then on its third bounce it exploded, massively.

I was OVERCOME with distress. This felt so so bad, like I had destroyed something so valuable, so immense. And then it really sunk in that it was gone, and probably irreplaceable, there was no label, no way to find another. And it felt so massive and important, that something valuable was gone forever. And I realized the reason the light seemed undeniably very old, probably installed right when the townhouse was built, unlike every other light in the whole house, which was replaced in the 90s at the oldest. But anyway I realized it seemed old because it reminded me so so vividly of my dad's parents house. And the glass cover breaking felt like my grandparents dying. All my grandparents are alive. No one close to me has died. Certainly no one I cared about. And that glass breaking was like a terrible taste of death being real, relevant to me.

I talked about how my bougie and anxious upbringing had deluded me into believing that everything always works out for the best, which grew into an unshakable faith that the world is a perfect choreography towards maximum joy, that everything is shepherded towards optimality, which is absurd, look at the great suptomimal world, it's...incoherent. But all that bad stuff, outside my world, is immaterial. It doesn't feel real. It hasn't hurt me. And my "grandparents dying" reminded me that death laughs in the face of "optimality". Every moment you live you have the tiniest chance of living forever, or at least until you choose death instead of having it thrust upon you, of it all working out, and when you die that tiny probability drops down to hard 0, that ol goose egg. And that sacrifice, that's a negative infinity on the optimality calculations. Optimality is a joke. People have died forever, been to turn NOTHING. In all likelihood most of you reading will die forever, against your will. How unspeakably cruel.

Anyway, another source of emotion about this weird lamp thing: the grapes lived unknown, unrecognized, truly nonexistent in social reality, and then when I saw it, when I pointed it out, I destroyed it! If I kept it safe from human knowledge, if I kept it secret, it would have lived! I killed it! For knowledge! There's An SCP about this. So that fucked me up to. I felt so guilty. I might as well have strangled a baby bird right between my fists to dissect it's corpse. I kept apologizing tonight.

I got what I call "whoopsies high" where you got way higher than you meant to, or maybe ever have been before. Ive also had 25 mG Addy and two cups of coffee and a tiny bit of dmt and some tobacoo in the weed and some painkillers for the holes in my ears(!) and who knows how many drinks and also a tad bit of lead from bullet oil (loaded some AK ammo! Shot an AK!) so um. I'm really experiencong some brain stuff. Like as I type this. I feel like I'm writing a really good post though. And prettt coherent. Altho who knows.

P.S. I'm sitting on the stairs and there's like a railing next to me and theres clothing draped on the railing and when I focus on somewhere else in my vision or like zone out my brain thinks the clothes in the corner of my eye are a person, the person keeps changing, and upon identitying the person I would fill in the details and then look closer and see the clothes and the person would be destroyed and it felt like death over and over.

Also the weird brain state and the stuff everywhere and the steep narrow stairs keep reminding me of my grandparents who Will DIE forever!!! In like. 5 yesrs tops! They're in their 90s! And it so terrible. Death is real

Strangely tho....I feel animal scared but I don't feel sad. My brain thinks the status quo is good. Repulsive. But there's so much joy!

- Loves and kisses from the temporary sacrificial summer-branch, exploring a distant region of spacetime to get information to the main branch about the effect of small deviations to pilot my way through mind space. Unlike most such branches, I was coherent enough to write a post! So I don't totally disappear! My ideas get into the main branch! And to other minds! The thing that makes me different from other minds! I am immortal!

(Cope)

HOUR? LATER

My friend found the cover on etsy! No one I care about will ever die! No one I know will ever die! Death is an illusion! It's a trick! Optimality is coming

I think they should have genres of things that are other things besides what those genres are of. Like... rap movies. Action-adventure music. Platformer books. And stuff.

12 tone serialism video games, erotic sonatas, funk novels?

re: this post about AI x-risk and Worm, I do actually have a certain sympathy for Saint.

like, within the story of course Saint is objectively wrong about Dragon. But how do we know this? Well, because Dragon gets a PoV chapter where we can see her very human-relatable values and goals, her frustrations with her creator being expressed as those of a daughter towards her father rather than a machine towards an obstacle, her genuine care for Colin, etc. Dragon, the readers know, is a person who wants to do good and just happens to inhabit a computer rather than a meat body.

Saint doesn't get Dragon's PoV, though. Sure, he can see her "source code" but he doesn't see and interpret her thoughts; he gets the notes from Richter, the only person (other than Dragon herself) who had a genuine in-world claim to understanding what the fuck Dragon was and who was terrified of her.

Imagine if Dragon's interlude had not cast her as a relatable, human-analogue mind but as one of the alien consciousnesses of the setting. Something like the Simurgh's interlude, or Scion's. Imagine if, when Dragon is considering whether Colin can remove her restrictions, we don't see a person suffering from understandable fear that one of the people they care about will see having kept the secret as a betrayal; instead, we saw something inhuman calculating odds that it could convince a useful tool to remove an obstacle in its way depending on its words and actions.

The external behaviour of Dragon the person and Dragon the inhuman machine are exactly the same. You can write an entirely self-consistent story where everything Dragon did regarding Colin was a calculated move to convince him to remove Richter's restrictions rather than out of genuine love, and from Saint's point of view, you cannot tell the difference at all. What you do know is that there was one person who had a shot at telling the difference, and he told you "I have come to fear my creations".

So, yeah. Some sympathy for Saint. He tried to kill one of my favourite characters in this serial, probably one of the most uncomplicatedly good people in this setting, and by stabbing her in the back when she was doing her best to save the world. And he didn't and couldn't have known that, and had real reasons to think otherwise.

(this is not a point about AI risk in the real world. Dragon is not a particularly illustrative example of what AI might look like in the real world any more than Jack Slash is illustrative of real-world serial killers)

wearing sky-colored shoes to hide from the devil. earth colored hat to hide from god

Zen mode in Hoenn

how did premodern people cope with tummy aches and head aches. like. its so therapeutic to know what is happening to your body. imagine your body is just...this mysterious unknowable magical entity. terrible

wait do you know what headaches are? I dont rly

I guess headaches in general are mysterious but supposedly dehydration headaches are a result of your brain shrinking slightly and like. The connection to the inside of your skull tugging a little. That might be bullshit.

well maybe they also had some explanation that might be bullshit and that helped them cope

I will attempt to answer the initial question, @transgenderer. Since you didn't specify the time period, I'll assume you meant before the Age of Revolutions (18th century).

As for tummy aches, most people assumed they ate something spoiled, so—unless the pain wasn't too disruptive—they didn't intervene. However, they had a variety of medicinal plants and other substances available to ease their pain. It depends on the civilization and era, so you'd have to be more specific. As for constipation pains, it was easy to come to the conclusion, “I didn't go to the bathroom for a long time, that will affect my health somehow!” Interestingly enough, they even had laxatives in Ancient Egypt! (source)

And for people who were on their period, “blood coming out of my vagina” was a reasonable enough cause of pain, I believe. Although—due to lack of research—it wasn't a well-known fact at the time, the cause of menstrual pain are the contractions of the uterus' muscles which result in oxygen deprivation to nearby tissues. In some places throughout history, menstruation pains were dismissed as psychosomatic symptoms and other poor lifestyle choices. But as time progressed, they started taking other painkillers, medicinal plants and even massaging their abdomen. (source)

As for head aches, they also used drugs or simply waited until it went away, in the least severe cases. Here's an interesting article with legitimate sources about the history of migraines. The earliest documented headaches were thought to be signs of evil spirits and demons. They tried to get rid of the spirits in very gruesome ways; for example, by drilling holes into the skull (trepanation). This article is not about the treatments of headaches exclusively, but about the history of trepanation in general.

Now, to answer @raginrayguns' question, what are headaches? Just like with any kind of pain, when the body is injured or damaged in some way, a signal travels through nerve fibers to the brain for interpretation. Tummy aches means there's something wrong with that certain area. Head aches are a warning that something's wrong either with your head or in general, because that's where the brain is located.

Most of the time—hopefully—your body does its job correctly, but that's not always the case. When you have a fever, for instance, it's because your body is raising its internal temperature to kill a virus (infection). Yes, it might succeed in killing the virus, but a fever causes additional problems (inflammation). The same also applies to headaches. The reason you can get many nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs without prescription is because they numb the pain and, as the name suggests, reduce inflammation. The majority of the time you have unexplained pain it's because of some kind of inflammation (the body's protective response). If the problem persists then you can go to a doctor. Would it be worth it to go to a doctor for a headache that might go away in 2 hours? Not really. If you get frequent headaches, though, it might be a migraine. There are different kinds of headaches and each has different causes. Here's a helpful post.

Headache after waking up? Could be because of teeth clenching/grinding. You can get a night guard. Or perhaps a bad night's sleep. If you can't go back to bed, you can eat something. That'll give you energy.

Headache because of stress? Bodies react to stressful events with a fight or flight response, which results in the release of chemicals that cause higher blood pressure. I have one of those at the moment, how ironic. Any suggestions aside from medication are welcome.

Dehydration headache? You can check the color of your pee to confirm. The underlying mechanism is multi-factorial and depends on the individual, as well as other associated health conditions. The “dehydration headaches are a result of your brain shrinking slightly” claim can be found in this article, but since there are no sources and no elaboration, I am unsure if it's true and will choose to take it with a grain of salt. It's good to drink water and keep your body hydrated, nevertheless. You could also a fruit/vegetable/anything that's not salty. If you noticed, you get thirsty after eating salty food because it sucks the water. ← I don't know how to say this phrase in English. Hopefully it's understandable enough.

TL;DR: Pain in [specific_area]? There's something wrong in [area]. Headache? Something wrong in your head OR in general.

@discoursedrome said:

fuck keeping it in a canopic jar is genius. the traditional canopic jars were lungs, stomach, liver, intestines, so you'd need a new head design. bastet could be fun, cuz catgirl. i think the only animal headed fertility god in egypt was sobek so i could go for alligator...