Take me away

@to-someplace-else / to-someplace-else.tumblr.com

Hey there! I'm a queer Swede currently living in Uppsala and trying to get my life together. If you would like me to tag something, please let me know and I'll do so, and feel free to otherwise ask me something :)

“The Windfish” from Symphony of the Goddesses

Follow me on: Patreon | SoundCloud | YouTube | Twitter

Performed Digitally by: Jacob Barber

Themes by: Minako Hamano Arrangments by: Chad Seiter Orchestrated by: Chad Seiter

I do not own the Symphony of the Goddesses, or any arrangements therein. I am not affiliated in anyway with Nintendo or Jason Michael Paul Productions, Inc. Symphony of the Goddesses is the property of Jason Michael Paul Productions, Inc.

ZT: Love it! Thanks for sharing :)

real talk why do so many fantasy universes think giant spiders are necessary

The sad part is there’s a decent chance a large proportion of them can be blamed on one spider.

The tarantula that bit JRR Tolkien as a child.

He swore he didn’t have a spider phobia and the experience had nothing to do with the man-eating giant spiders in The Hobbit, the even more giant and even more man-eating spider in Lord of the Rings, or the unholy eldritch spider from outside creation that plunged the world into darkness and made literal Satan scream like a little kid in the Silmarillion. Very few people believe him.

Given LotR’s influence in the fantasy genre, there is a high probability that tarantula is the progenitor of even more fictional spiders than Ungoliant was.


wow fuck that one tarantula

“fantasy universes have too many spiders” factoid actually just statistical error. Georgs Spider, who bit JRR Tolkein & is to blame for menacing over 10,000 fantasy universes, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

I’ve been so good I booked an appointment for a doctor online but then it turned out I wasn’t listed at that office....alright..... (tbf it did take me a week to check the response... but it’s fine) SO today I called the office! Look at me taking care of my mental health, adulting all over the place.

Now maybe I can also shower and eat today. That’d be nice.



This it the breakdown of MEPs via their country of origin.



BLUE is abstain.


France and Romania did the worst. If you live in these countries, your representatives were all for destroying the internet. You will need to work twice as hard campaigning your reps when this goes back for a second discussion in September.

Congratulations Sweden, Poland, Netherlands, Lithunania and Estonia.


The legislation goes back for a re-do in September before we’ll have to fight this battle again.

Plans to fly a giant inflatable figure depicting Donald Trump as a baby over London during the US president’s visit have been approved.

Mr Trump is due to meet Theresa May at 10 Downing Street next Friday.

Campaigners raised almost £18,000 for the helium-filled six-metre high figure, which they said reflects Mr Trump’s character as an “angry baby with a fragile ego and tiny hands”.

London Mayor Sadiq Khan gave permission for the balloon to fly.

The White House has been approached for comment.

On Twitter former UKIP leader Nigel Farage said the plan was “the biggest insult to a sitting US President ever”.

Leo Murray, who is behind the crowdfunded idea, said: “[Mr Trump] really seems to hate it when people make fun of him.

“So when he visits the UK on Friday, we want to make sure he knows that all of Britain is looking down on him and laughing at him.

“That’s why a group of us have chipped in and raised enough money to have a six-metre high blimp made by a professional inflatables company, to be flown in the skies over Parliament Square during Trump’s visit.”

A statement on behalf of the London mayor said he “supports the right to peaceful protest and understands that this can take many different forms”.

After meeting with the organisers of the Trump Baby, Mr Khan’s city operations team gave them permission to “use Parliament Square Garden as a grounding point for the blimp”.

Mr Khan and Mr Trump have repeatedly clashed on Twitter, including in the aftermath of the London Bridge attack.

Before the figure can take off, campaigners will also need permission from the National Air Traffic Service (NATS) as the project constitutes a “non-standard flight in controlled airspace”, a spokesperson said.

Because Parliament Square sits within restricted airspace, additional approvals are also needed from the Metropolitan Police.

Max Wakefield, who is one of the people working on the project, said the group is “confident it will obtain all necessary permits”.

He said the initial crowdfunding target was just £1,000, but this was reached within 24 hours.

The extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a “world tour” and “haunt” Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.

The Met has been approached for a comment.

Well, Himself is the biggest insult to the Presidency in living memory, so stuff it, Nigel Farage.

“The extra cash will now be used to send the balloon on a “world tour” and “haunt” Mr Trump wherever he goes, he added.”

One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified

if you want to interact with a cat that doesn’t know you, sit down not facing it. glance at it occasionally and make an inviting noise, but mostly just play with your phone or whatever.

the cat will almost certainly come over to check you out sooner or later. it’ll stay out of arm’s reach because it doesn’t know if you’re a jerk. offer your hand and let the cat sniff. wait. if the cat wants pettins, it will indicate that by noofing your hand, flopping on its side, or coming in close.

the cat may want to be bros but not get pettins. in that case, it will sit or lie near you but out of reach. this is friendly! the cat is saying, you’re a person in my neighborhood! hi neighbor!

of course, it’s possible that the cat is a great big cuddleslut and will come love all over you. that happens too. but if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s an unfriendly cat. be chill and let the cat choose how close to get, and you’ll find most cats are pretty friendly.

The only information that matters

what to say to someone who says sorry a lot

  • u didn’t do anything wrong its ok
  • don’t worry about it u didn’t do anything wrong

what not to say to someone who says sorry a lot

  • omg stop saying sorry so much 

Constant apologizing is a side effect of emotional abuse so don’t be a dick about someone who does that



On fathers’ day I would like to offer my services as a replacement internet dad for anyone who wants one.

My dadly credentials:

-  vague scent of all spice deodorant

- makes a good macaroni cheese

- cannot see a parsnip without saying ‘parrrrsnips’ in a terrible fake west country accent

- owns a series of lurid swim shorts to embarrass you at the pool or beach

- ready to fight anyone who has done you wrong

can confirm amoebagrrrl for best internet dad

Hey, I got your ask about the Vivienne-raised-by-FD AU, and I wanted to let you know I'm trying to write a fill for it to answer some of those questions! But it might take a bit, so I figured I'd drop you a line and say. Hope you have a great day!


Oh, thank you so much! :D

I'm loving HtS so much, thank you so much for sharing it with us! I'm really impressed by your update schedule as well, you rock! I've seen other people leave you prompts on your Tumblr, and I was wondering if you'd ever do something in Minato's pov? Sorry for bugging you if you're not taking prompts!


Hi there!

I’m glad you love Hear the Silence! It’s one of my favourite fics as well… written by one of my favourite people in the world, @emptysurface.

She’s got a lot of other awesome stories, too!

And there might be Minato POV in the future… but you don’t know that from me.



Anonymous asked:

at what point does one become more used to having a baby - at what point does it get easier? my pumpkin is nearly 3 months and i am still reeling.

I am sorry that it took me so long to answer this. I am sure that it has actually gotten easier by now, simply because I took so long to answer. The first 3 months of being a new parent are like being in a tumble dryer. Reeling, though, is the feeling of transition; and the transitions will now change very quickly for you, with seasons flipping past in a montage. 

Here’s what Most Parents are going to tell you - in fact they are reading this post and they salivating already, because they really want to be the First Person To Ever Tell You This. They are lining up, like hyenas, to say “AHAHA! IT NEVER GETS EASIER! AHAHA!” They will roll on their backs and wave their paws in the air. “You did a setup for a joke! Just now! The joke is that it never gets easier!”

And then as soon as we try to continue our conversation, the hyenas will leap back in, yelping “REELING? You think you’re REELING? You’ve been parenting for THREE MONTHS! AHAHAHA YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD!  Wait until they reach [milestone]. Wait until they’re a toddler. Wait until they’re teenagers. Wait until-”

So: thank you, Parenting Hyenas Who Can’t Cope. We witness you. We love you. We have heard about your experiences (nobody could really avoid doing so) and we honour them. Your contributions are valuable. Your jokes are funny, Parenting Hyenas, and we do appreciate the work you have done. BUT we are going to move on, in the expectation that Anon here has some important feelings that are just as valid as those of an Experienced Parenting Hyena, and that for them, maybe coping is possible.

Right. Sorry. I had to say all that because if I didn’t, then people would make the joke in the notes (“AHAHA! YOU THINK IT GETS EASIER! AHAHA!”) and it irritates me, although I love the Parenting Hyenas very much.

To answer your question, Anon, with disclaimers:

I personally believe in the Fourth Trimester Theory, which is that the first 3 months of a baby’s life are liminal and primal. Neurologically and physiologically and in its ancient little psyche, a human baby hasn’t really arrived in the planet yet for the first three months of life. It is not really part of our world; it is not a public being; it is here as a visitor, whose only commentary is crying. It is still in that liminal space between the bright noisy terrors of the world, and your womb, that was also the Void. It looks at you with its changeling eyes and it appears to see infinity. It is very obviously a traveler from somewhere else, now trapped in the form of a potato, and it is composing the MOST scathing Tripadvisor review. And at all times, it NEEDS you. It is an ancient baby mammal and all it wants is your heartbeat, the warmth of your skin, your milk (if you’re giving it your own milk), and to be Parented. It needs these things to live. As science and psychology learn more about the importance of things like “skin time” and “touch starvation” and “attachment,” we realise that the default state of the human baby in the Fourth Trimester is “being held.” That’s it, that’s its job, that’s what it does; it wants to eat while you hold it, sleep while you hold it, and stare penetratingly at strangers and chickens while you hold it. It is not separate. If you are breastfeeding, it is an external part of your own immune system. But emotionally it’s also an external part of your own heart - like a daemon in the Northern Lights series.

You are basically still pregnant. But when you were pregnant, you had a convenient internal life support system for the baby, and both hands free (assuming you have the use of both hands). And now you are supposed to keep yourself and the baby alive in the outside world, which involves doing life support for you both, with no hands free. So yes. YES, this stage is FUCKING hard.

This age of baby is frequently irritating with this Constant Need for your body, and you snap at it, wanting some fucking space, and then immediately feel as if a Goblin King is about to come in through your window in the form of an owl and STEAL it, because you let your guard down for a second, and for a second there you didn’t want your baby. But of course you want your baby! You just don’t want your baby ON you! You wanted somebody else to hold the baby for ten minutes while you had a poo and then stared silently at your tongue in the mirror because YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO LIVE, BABY, YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO LIVE. I mean, maybe that’s just me. I’m 90% sure that was just me. But yeah!! It takes some getting used to!!

After the Fourth Trimester, the little potato becomes a lot more like a baby. At three months, the little oven timer goes “ding!” And it’s a lot more fully cooked and developed. It levels up a lot now. If it had colic (uncontrollable screaming with no particular cause, usually in the evening) then colic is about to go away. It will hopefully know the difference between night and day. It will probably not poo at night any more, and you can let it keep one diaper on all night. It stops looking at you like a judgmental goblin ALL the time, and may smile occasionally. Breastfeeding (if you’re doing it) should have become easier, hopefully completely painless, and you’re hopefully feeling comfortable and confident about it. You will probably have survived at least one scary crisis, such as Running a Very High Temperature, or Dropping The Baby In The Bath, and come through it okay, astonished at your own bravery. So many things get easier now. SO MANY.

When does it get easier? For me, I found the first three months to be really rough and incredibly lonely and difficult, and it got increasingly easier after that. Caring for the baby became more of an exchange and a communication. They transitioned very distinctly in my eyes from an angry goblin potato to something more like a chirping pet. We bonded, as well; when the baby was born, they were a stranger to me, and I didn’t like them particularly (although I was prepared to do my absolute best for them) because I didn’t know them very well. But I did love them more and more, the more I knew them. My love needed time to grow. For me, the growth of baby and bond made it easier to meet their endless needs. Some people won’t share this, and some babies won’t do this; there will always be high-needs children too, and children who don’t develop according to Timelines, and relationships that have a different molecular structure. But the thing is that the whole point of babies is to change VERY fast: you will break, or you will get stronger, or things will change. Next week, your baby will be a different baby. Next month, it will be a different animal.

And sometimes the thing that changes is your relationship to the role of parenting. So that also happened for me to: the transition from my Self as a busy person with an unplanned pregnancy and no particular interest in children, to the Official Adult in Charge of one of Earth’s newest members. Who was an early arrival, to boot. It took a long time for me to set down my own ambitions to focus on Glassbab’s fragile, evanescent babyhood. I had to give up “being a person who goes to parties,” “being a person who has lots of hobbies and related friends,” “doing standup late in pubs,” and losing each one made me feel like I was being killed. But it turns out, I do actually have a personality beyond The Stuff I Do - I’m actually valuable and likable even if I’m not destroying myself with trying to do everything - which was actually a nice discovery for me. 

That’s another thing that people don’t write about - other parents don’t give you any map for how your own identity might change, and how that might actually be GROWTH, and what you might like to do with it. They just laugh “hahaha you’ll never cope again! hahaha mothers don’t have IDENTITIES! mothers don’t cope!!!” and you want to kick those hyenas RIGHT IN THE HEAD. 

Because, it turns out, those hyenas are only talking about their own experiences. Parents do have identities. Many parents cope. Many thrive. Many people feel this transition as growth, as a part of their lives where they grew and loved and learned, and achieved amazing experiences, Some people even feel the reeling as a pleasant thing; the way that you feel at a party, drunk, looking up at the ceiling until you are looking down at yourself, spinning in a blur of color and the moment. Pin this time, this reeling and draining time, down with lots of pictures. In a year these memories will be hard to catch again.


1. If the reeling is Too Much, please see a health professional. I don’t know what “Too Much” is and I am not qualified to advise you on your mental health, but you can use the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Test as a tool to decide whether to seek further help.

2. All babies and all people are different. No advice will ever suit everyone. If my advice, or indeed any advice, does not apply to you, then do not take it.