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The Shitpost Calligrapher

@theshitpostcalligrapher / theshitpostcalligrapher.tumblr.com

NEW REQUESTS ARE CLOSED ~~~ Confusing Future Archivists since 2015.~26/she/they~~~Twitter: @shittycallig ~~~ Etsy: etsy.com/ca/shop/witchsgrove ~~~ Ko-fi: V7V17ZZP ~~~ paypal: witchsgroveofficial@gmail.com ~~~ pfp by tumblr user @husband

Twitch Schedules

Mondays, 5pm to 7:30pmish est are Minecraft Mondays, where I work on an absolutely ludicrous survival world build of a 1pixel:1 block map art of my infamous MS Paint Rose Lalonde drawing. There is a lot of resource gathering, hope yall enjoy the sounds of shears and blocks breaking. Music requests are live. @ghostchilismoothie has helpfully created a faq google doc which you can view here

Thursdays, 4pm to 7 pmish est are gamin’ Thursdays where I play a properly continuous game all the way to the end. There’s usually cocommentary from a cavalcade of jesters in my discord. The game is currently bouncing around between a few options, of which include hollow knight, hardspace shipbreaker, and misc flash games

Saturdays, 3pm to 6ishpm est are queue card streams, where I write up the 28 cards that go up throughout the week, these are backlogged from the askbox. Music requests are live. If you sub or donate bits during the stream you can skip the queue and get your card done live

Misc days but usually from any point between 2 am and 7am est are I am Terrible At Minecraft streams, where we try to beat the game but comedically die in hardcore worlds over and over and over again. Chat helps me choose names for these worlds. This is entirely contingent on if i feel like vibing in the middle of the night and want folks to come along with me

Also on Misc late night dates at random I will do Redactle streams, where we solve Redactles together. Redactle is like wordle but with a redacted wikipedia article that you’re trying, via keyword entry and context clues, to find the title of. There’s a multiplayer mode, it’s a lotta fun.

I also show up on a bunch of my streamer friends’ twitch channels in voice channels so that’s a thing to look for

streams are done on twitch under the exact same username here, theshitpostcalligrapher.

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Anonymous asked:

what is a priest's collar, but a choker approved by god

i'm choosing to interpret this as a message delivered to me by god himself. thanks man.

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Reads like a good @theshitpostcalligrapher piece

yknow it sure does, hey jame @elytrians​ good buddy good pal have this for the stack

Small(er) Gods

We sit to praise our pantheon,        Hands clasped in thread and steel. For powers deftly laid upon,        The needle, hook or wheel.

Benevolent though some may be,        More love to steer astray. They’ll gift your pins to gravity,        Or keep fused threads at bay.

Some take their tithe in first cloth cut,       The smoothest, cleanest snip. Yet others drink the pin-prick blood,       From scars on fingertips.

The brave may seek their council still,       For pins lost or purls dropped. They’ll not shy from reseamed quilts,       Or loops that come unlocked.

Though guidance they will offer plain,       With payment clear as glass, Be wary of the terms explained,       Lest tangled knots stay fast.

But still their songs are heard and felt,        In heartbeats punched and sewn. Machine clunk drowning prayers that tell,        You’ll not create, alone.

that’s right the newest favourite print to hang up in yalls crafting rooms!

fucked up and stayed up all night reading comics online 

anyone else getting regrettable-hookup-in-our-twenties vibes from ghostmaker and brucie? 

like bro this is a wildly homoerotic sword fight yall are having WHAT is this expression on your face my guy??? mom pick me up i’m scared

(sorry about the batman posting i need a nap)

I assure you that’s exactly the vibe they have, like god damn ghostmaker you are so horny for Bruce.

to be entirely fair batsy more or less asks minhkhoa to move into his brownstone with him for a “teamup” the absolute second it feels like their 20-year-old angst spat begins to relent a little so i think its a mutual weirdness about each other

like bro cmon now. AT LEAST PUT A SHIRT ON FOR THIS 

BRO WEREN’T YALL JUST AT EACH OTHERS’ THROATS FOR A 2 DECADE LONG PHILOSOPHICAL/MURDEROUS DISPUTE BRUCE THIS CANNOT BE INDICATIVE OF HOW YOUR HOOKUPS USUALLY GO-(has 2 second flashback of how bruce’s hookups usually go)

….

right nevermind

i made the mistake of going down the tag an spoilering myself a touch, what the hell-ass is this panel my guy

glad to know my initial vibe check was on the fuckn money 

fucked up and stayed up all night reading comics online 

anyone else getting regrettable-hookup-in-our-twenties vibes from ghostmaker and brucie? 

like bro this is a wildly homoerotic sword fight yall are having WHAT is this expression on your face my guy??? mom pick me up i’m scared

(sorry about the batman posting i need a nap)

I assure you that’s exactly the vibe they have, like god damn ghostmaker you are so horny for Bruce.

to be entirely fair batsy more or less asks minhkhoa to move into his brownstone with him for a “teamup” the absolute second it feels like their 20-year-old angst spat begins to relent a little so i think its a mutual weirdness about each other

like bro cmon now. AT LEAST PUT A SHIRT ON FOR THIS 

BRO WEREN’T YALL JUST AT EACH OTHERS’ THROATS FOR A 2 DECADE LONG PHILOSOPHICAL/MURDEROUS DISPUTE BRUCE THIS CANNOT BE INDICATIVE OF HOW YOUR HOOKUPS USUALLY GO-(has 2 second flashback of how bruce’s hookups usually go)

....

right nevermind

fucked up and stayed up all night reading comics online 

anyone else getting regrettable-hookup-in-our-twenties vibes from ghostmaker and brucie? 

like bro this is a wildly homoerotic sword fight yall are having WHAT is this expression on your face my guy??? mom pick me up i’m scared

(sorry about the batman posting i need a nap)

THEY GAVE US ANOTHER DAIKON

imagine: you are just getting home. you are hot and sweaty, you open the fridge to get a nice cold drink to cool down, and are greeted with this

this is the current experience of living in our houshold forgive the img quality silum’s phone is old as shit

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That MF needs some googly eyes on it to lessen the malevolence.

I… I don’t think it helped

I think it makes it worse

Eyes that size has some real muppet veggies energy now

Now just need to draw or cut a mouth into there.

so fun fact there’s a scar on the other side that already looks like a mouth and a dimple so

(you can probably tell but my phone cam quality is…. somewhat different)

Everything else in your fridge be like this vibing with the daikon