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*farts*

@thescreechingone / thescreechingone.tumblr.com

i might am love u already

In approx. 6 months when all of Tumblr hates John Mulaney and wants to burn him at the stake for no apparent reason, I will remember the “John mulaney should be gay” posts as I sip my lemonade and watch the rabble dance on the ashes of yet another person they idolized into destruction

Actually, I’m gonna map this out for ya right now

  1. John mulaney should be gay. Some fans quote the “God may ¾ of a gay man and then forgot to flip the last switch” joke from New In Town, I believe, but most people chuckle, nod along, and reblog
  2. This will develop and evolve into “John mulaney is appropriating gay culture,” because this is Tumblr and Olympic leaps is what we do
  3. That will quickly evolve into “John mulaney is queer baiting,” because, again, Tumblr
  4. John mulaney will be the new Taylor swift, John green, whomever the hell else that Tumblr once loved and then decided to hate because ~50 million people can never agree on anything
  5. In 2 years, the salt n’ pepper diner video will get passed around again, only people who innocently reblog a funny story from a comedian they don’t really know will get anons “warning” them about the awful, homophobic John mulaney
  6. Most people will accept it outright, because we’re all a little weary of comedians, lbr, but some will question it. When the answer they get is “idk, but I think I remember people saying he was queer baiting because we thought he was gay but apparently he’s not and some people made joke posts about it that a lot of other people took too seriously,” they’ll respond with “are you serious?”
  7. Yes, I am. Welcome to The Dark Ages™

I’m gonna schedule this post for 3 month intervals throughout the year.

Let’s see if Tumblr’s straight, white, golden child du jour survives 2018, shall we?

It’s happening

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyye

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I’m so mad at how accurately you predicted this. This website…

old people really need to learn how to text accurately to the mood they’re trying to represent like my boss texted me wondering when my semester is over so she can start scheduling me more hours and i was like my finals are done the 15th! And she texts back “Yay for you….” how the fuck am i supposed to interpret that besides passive aggressive

Someone needs to do a linguistic study on people over 50 and how they use the ellipsis. It’s FASCINATING. I never know the mood they’re trying to convey.

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I actually thought for a long time that texting just made my mother cranky. But then I watched my sister send her a funny text, and my mother was laughing her ass off. But her actual texted response?

“Ha… right.”

Like, she had actual goddamn tears in her eyes, and that was what she considered an appropriate reply to the joke.I just marvelled for a minute like ‘what the actual hell?’ and eventually asked my mom a few questions. I didn’t want to make her feel defensive or self-conscious or anything, it just kind of blew my mind, and I wanted to know what she was thinking.

Turns out that she’s using the ellipsis the same way I would use a dash, and also to create ‘more space between words’ because it ‘just looks better to her’. Also, that I tend to perceive an ellipsis as an innate ‘downswing’, sort of like the opposite of the upswing you get when you ask a question, but she doesn’t. And that she never uses exclamation marks, because all her teachers basically drilled it into her that exclamation marks were horrible things that made you sound stupid and/or aggressive.

So whereas I might sent a response that looked something like:

“Yay! That sounds great - where are we meeting?”

My mother, whilst meaning the exact same thing, would go:

‘Yay. That sounds great… where are we meeting?”

And when I look at both of those texts, mine reads like ‘happy/approval’ to my eye, whereas my mother’s looks flat. Positive phrasing delivered in a completely flat tone of voice is almost always sarcastic when spoken aloud, so written down, it looks sarcastic or passive-aggressive.

On the reverse, my mother thinks my texts look, in her words, ‘ditzy’ and ‘loud’. She actually expressed confusion, because she knows I write and she thinks that I write well when I’m constructing prose, and she, apparently, could never understand why I ‘wrote like an airhead who never learned proper English’ in all my texts. It led to an interesting discussion on conversational text. Texting and text-based chatting are, relatively, still pretty new, and my mother’s generation by and large didn’t grow up writing things down in real-time conversations. The closest equivalent would be passing notes in class, and that almost never went on for as long as a text conversation might. But letters had been largely supplanted by telephones at that point, so ‘conversational writing’ was not a thing she had to master. 

So whereas people around my age or younger tend to text like we’re scripting our own dialogue and need to convey the right intonations, my mom writes her texts like she’s expecting her Eighth grade English teacher to come and mark them in red pen. She has learned that proper punctuation and mistakes are more acceptable, but when she considers putting effort into how she’s writing, it’s always the lines of making it more formal or technically correct, and not along the lines of ‘how would this sound if you said it out loud?’

Reblogging for reference because I’m working on this exact question for the book right now. 

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kingdomheartsddd

Another source I just googled from BBC of the same incident. http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-40482458

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futureblackpolitician

He’s also 23. Gotta love that white millennial racism

While we’re at it, let’s talk about the white supremacist who wanted to derail a train Nebraska. 26 year old white dude, and this happened back in October, barely heard about it.

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an-ally-says-what

And I’m sure there’s a few hundred/thousand of these that don’t get picked up by any news services.

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Tintin remembers what comes after 15.

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drtanner-sfw

FUCKING HELL IT’S BACK FROM LAST YEAR

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ctoons

This literally gets reblogged every 15th of the month. It’s almost two years old. It’s beautiful.

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ctoons

listen up ya’ll this post is 6 years old now and you’re still reblogging it. every month. once a month, my notifications blow up for this one video, but only until the 16th. then the notes on this vid completely stop. it’s so eerily spot on and impressive how you just all collectively know what to do. if I’m not online, people irl still remind me that it’s the 15th. thank you for six surreal years of me wondering if I completely fucking lost it. here’s to the 15th

When they say goodnight but you still see them online an hour later..

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alien-bean-branch

When you’re a good friend and know that sometimes your friend needs their own space and alone time

First day of life up until 6th grade 

Jumped all the way to Freshman year of High School

Then I cut my hair Junior year, why did I do that

Slowly it started growing back and then….

I finally felt comfortable to express myself (the picture on the left was my debut)

At this point in my transition I am 6 months into HRT

A year on HRT

Over a year and a half on hormones. My transition hasn’t been the clearest path but I am so happy that I am on it.

Update:

2 years since my coming out 

2 years on hrt

2.3 years on hrt

2 and a half years on hormones 

Its been a while since I’ve done an update so here it goes

At this point I am 3 years into my Hormone Replacement Therapy. I’m thriving. 

These pictures were taken days apart and I am 3 and a half years into my medical transition (The picture on the right was also posted by Instagram on all their major social media handles attached with an interview I did with them for International Women’s Month)

During this time I was 4 years into HRT. Clearly living for it.

I am currently 4 and a half years into HRT, 5 years into socially transitioning, 6 years into when i first came out to my community around me and I’m loving life more than I ever thought I would. 

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marthastarr

I need to save that post to remind myself that “Heaven needs time to render”. SUCH AN INSPIRATION!!!

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smol-anxiety-bean

Oh my god she is so pretty

ba614-deactivated20160821

THIS IS A PICTURE THAT SOMEONE TOOK WHO WORKS ON AN OIL RIG IN TEXAS. HE WANTED TO GET A SHOT OF THE LIGHTNING THAT WAS FLASHING BY.  HE WAS UNAWARE OF THE TORNADO UNTIL THE LIGHTNING ILLUMINATED IT. This has been called a one-in-a-million photo; taken south of Ft. Stockton, Texas.

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Fort Fuckton more like,

pizzaback-deactivated20201011

I hate how the stereotype is that dolphins are good and sharks are evil, when dolphins are so smart that they have the capacity for evil but sharks are simple fish who can only be true neutral, so even if a minority of dolphins are evil there are still more evil dolphins than sharks

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rageclit

quality marine philosophy discourse

I say this to every person who will listen

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I have decided on a new constellation. I call it The Bees. If you look up at the night sky and see all those sparkly dots, congratulations. You see The Bees. I have just made astrology 10000x easier, you’re welcome.