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Writing? Who's she?

@thereinliesmyproblem / thereinliesmyproblem.tumblr.com

Heyooo this is Problem, also known as problematicfan over on my sideblog. Mostly just a shitposter but sometimes I reblog my writing over here. Header done by the amazing DoonaDraws! You can find her on twitter!
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LESS movies about the lgbtq experience MORE movies about people who just happen to be lgbtq. is it really that hard to understand

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I don't wanna see another story abt a teenage boy coming out to his parents and closed mouth kissing his boyfriend at prom where's my spy thriller action heist movie w a cast made entirely of dykes and femme gay men you know what I'm fucking talkinf about. I'm tired of The Queer Struggle I struggle every stupid day I know what that's all about and honestly none of the coming out stories are cathartic or whatever to me. I don't care. I wanna see a nonbinary person fight a dragon

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Re: the last post, the article mentions that some places use clams to test the toxicity of the water. It’s like that in Warsaw- we get our water from the river, and the main water pump has 8 clams that have triggers attached to their shells. If the water gets too toxic, they close, and the triggers shut off the city water supply automatically.  

The clams are just better at measuring the water quality than any man-made sensors.

Edit: check out this documentary trailer : https://vimeo.com/408820791

God Bless Our Troops

They hot glued a spring to a clam and gave it full control over the water supply

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No of course not, that would be ridiculous.

They hot glued springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.

No of course not, hot glue would kill the clams.

The used silicone adhesive to attach springs to eight clams and gave them collective control over the water supply.

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Mollymauk: Do you want to play 20 Questions?
Caleb: not really, but fine.
Caleb: Whats your favorite color?
Mollymauk, laser fucking focused: Triangle. Do you like men?

actually supervillains with kid hero nemeses are hysterical bc if i was a billionaire and i found out the kid who was also my nemesis was a preteen orphan i would simply adopt them. oh you’re going to stop my nefarious schemes? how when you’re grounded. go to your room

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an incomplete list of times a bat has yelled for superman’s help

- six years after they met, batman called for superman’s help for the first time, when he realized he couldn’t save a child from a fire

- dick grayson, age 8, called for superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 9, called superman to open a jam jar (strawberry)

- alfred, age lots, called superman to save batman from a death trap

- dick grayson, age 11, called superman to open a jam jar (grape)

- bruce wayne called superman to comfort dick grayson, who had just been fired as robin

- ace the bathound barked for superman to save batman from a death trap

- bruce wayne called superman to ask why, precisely, dick grayson was now superhero-ing under a kryptonian name

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap

- batman called superman to save jason todd from a death trap. superman was in a different solar system.  he didn’t hear his name.

- barbara gordon called superman to help subdue supergirl, who was mind-controlled at the time

- dick grayson, age 19, called superman to open a jam jar (raspberry)

- tim drake called superman to save batman from a death trap

- stephanie brown called superman to see if she could

- tim drake called superman to tell superboy to take his earbuds out

- batman called superman because the batplane had just exploded at 17,000 feet, and he can’t fly, at all

- jason todd called superman to save batman from a death trap that he had himself set up

- dick grayson, age 24, called superman to open a jam jar (fig)

- dick grayson called superman to ask him why he hadn’t saved his father

- damian wayne called superman to save batman (dick grayson) from a death trap

- cassandra cain called superman so he could interpret her signs for a particularly skeevy alleyway ruffian.  he refused to interpret some of the signs.

- batman called superman to tell him to get lois some damn flowers already so she would stop texting him

- a failsafe device made by barbara gordon and tim drake automatically called superman to save batman from a death trap

- duke thomas called superman because he was dared to and he didn’t think it would work (it did)

- dick grayson, age 26, called superman to open a jam jar (apricot)

- damian wayne called superman to tell superboy (jon kent) to take his earbuds out

- selina kyle called superman to save a kitten from a tree

- dick grayson, age 28, called superman to save batman from a jam jar (giant, acid-filled)

Bruce Wayne having to play Fuck, Marry, Kill on a talkshow, except all the options are JL members.

Talkshow host: okay! Your options are the big three! If you didn’t know, That’s Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman!

Bruce: (with no hesitation) Kill Batman. He’s useless, has no superpowers whatsoever and was once 15 minutes late to save me from a kidnapping.

Talkshow host: As a famous philanthropist and pacifist what are you thoughts on the Red Hood?

Bruce: I love him so so so much. I don’t approve of his methods. I’m glad he’s here in Gotham and I believe in him and cherish him. I worry that the lives he takes will weigh on him and that he’ll lose himself in the violence.

TH: Wow that’s quite personal, it sounds like you know him?

Bruce: He’s Batman’s son and we both know he doesn’t deserve him

TH: Batman’s son????

Bruce: yup

Bruce *leaning closer to the microphone*: his son

Bruce *looking directly at the camera*: who he loves but doesn’t deserve

TH: o-okay then um moving on… uh about the rumors about your and Batman’s relationship-

Bruce: He’s only using me for my body.

Reporter: Oh my god- is that the Red Hood?

Reporter: Red hood sir? Can I ask you a question?

Red Hood: uh yeah?

Reporter: How do you feel about Bruce Wayne’s recent comments on the Late-night Gotham Talk Show?

Red Hood: I hope that Wayne gets custody of me during the inevitable break up. (Grapples off)

~

Reporter: Tim Drake-Wayne! How do you feel about the possibility of the Red Hood becoming your new sibling?

Tim: (eyebrow twitching) delighted, god only knows I need more murderous siblings.

Reporter: Elaborate on the ‘more’ part?

Tim: No comment.

Reporter: Is it true you have violent tendencies? We have a comment from your brother Tim about it.

Dick:

Damian, standing next to him: [slurps smoothie loudly]

This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏ Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏? For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅‍♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME. Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨‍✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨‍❤️‍👨.

The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while

Honestly the fact that Jaskier is (also) kind of a celebrity in Netflix Witcher canon is. SO fucking funny to me….. Can you imagine being another Wolf witcher in this universe. It’s like if Hozier wrote 5 Grammy-winning albums exclusively about this weird kid from your high school