this image of Mongolia's best known paleontologist standing in between the fossilized arms of Deinocherius is undeniably the most powerful image in paleontological history

how do I find a fic that’s exactly like the one I’ve just read but also different

^^^reasons why writers shouldn’t be worried about using the same tropes/concept/plot that’s been done before

The human brain needs more RAM

Motherfucker I’m always thinking of sheep.

I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.

BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL

We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.

vengabus sandstorm

wow that really sounds

wow that really sounds

As chair of the wizard- [PARRIES A SPELL] As chair of the wizard counc- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council, I- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council I think staffs should be illegal during these meetings.

oh i thought this was the staff meeting

wow, I don't think I've seen this many Animal Opinions since the Hammer-Headed Bat thing

also to answer the multitude of questions in the notes- no, colugos aren't related to bats!

they're related to YOU.

colugos are primatomorphs, a group consisting of all extant primate species and their close relatives! for this reason, they're often referred to as "flying lemurs".

they're mostly nocturnal and spend their nights gliding around from tree to tree, jamming pretty much whatever plant material they fancy into those adorable little faces before scampering off like a tiny Mothman.

also the mom colugos will glide with their babies on board and it's really cute

Their face is EXACTLY like when the camera zooms in on an anime character's forehead cuz they're about to fucking snap:

jk rowling's new reputation will never not be funny to me. when you see her name now you dont think "oh yeah thats the chick who wrote harry potter" you think "oh lord, this TERF bitch again" like bro how do you fuck up so bad that your fuck ups overshadow writing the third most read piece of literature in existence

Nah. I see her name and think of Harry Potter first and foremost. I don’t give a shit about her opinions on anything other than her own work.

I’m the kind of person that goes outside every once in a while. You should try it!

Girl, help they are making me do tasks before the scheduled event.

My conference is in 9 hours; do I have time to bathe?

fuck all of you this winter i’m dressing like this

me walking past you in the plant based milk section of target

John Oliver is so crazy cus you see him and he's british and he's wearing a suit in front of a fake new york city skyline and you're like yeah another white Democrat making jokes at late night but then he starts buying and cancelling millions of medical debt and saying defund the police years before it was widely-held conversation and drawing rats fucking each other and before you know it this owl in human skin has made you a radical leftist

to clarify he purchased the painting of the rats fucking each other and then commissioned an artist to draw his fursona with a raging hard on.

the man has experienced ego death and is using his powers for good.

stopping at an understaffed, overcrowded fast food restaurant while on a road trip and crouching over your phone with your chicken sandwich at a corner table like a weary adventurer eating a bowl of unidentifiable stew at a nameless inn, the only one for miles of moor and wood, taking in the chatter around you but speaking to none before pulling your cloak back up over your head and taking t' the road once more

Kicking the door in at a Popeye’s connected to a gas station to ask the most grizzled and battle-scarred customers to join me on a suicidal quest

Leaning over the counter of the TacoTime in Rexburg Idaho, asking if the 16 year old Mormon girl there has heard any rumors.

vampire goes to sleep in a room w venetian blinds & wakes up with grill marks on him

vam... vampanini

saw this in the comments on a post on facebook, jodye seems like a great person.

I love Twitter bc everyone is dumb

Just pronouns in general

Are- are you trying to tell me "no one" is a pronoun? Is that what this is saying??

Yes

So if I choose to go by nobody/no one are those nemo-pronouns

i see through your tricks, odysseus

how do we always wind up here

gloppy btw. if you even care

So last week I tried moaning every time I ate something delicious.

It was vaguely uncomfortable and unnatural

I actually love the idea of doing this trying out fanfic/literary cliche’s out in real life, kinda wanna make up a list and undertake it as a challenge.

don’t forget to make your butthole flutter today

Guess someone’s eye color from 20 feet away.

Be careful with these. I started reading fanfiction three years ago and now I have to toe my shoes off to get my feet out.

But do you pad across rooms? 

Yes but I often give away my position when I huff.

FYI, I’m smirking at all y’all.

I’m resisting the urge to card my fingers through everybody’s hair.

This is as good a time as any to admit that right now I smell like coffee, sandalwood soap, and something uniquely myself.

I hate this post so much I clenched my fists and looked away, muscles bunching in my jaw. 

i’m so glad to see i’m not alone, i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding

I looked at myself in the mirror, carefully mapping out every detail of my face, especially my eyes. They are cerulean orbs made of pure ocean water that can be seen a 1000 yards away. Is that disturbing? Yes. Yes it is.

My breath just hitched and I felt shame wash over me. I know I’m guilty of all of these. 😂

I felt my cheeks getting hot, deep red spreading across them, while reading these. The guilt is real.

This whole post made me chuckle darkly.

I gasped softly! I’m trembling, as if this post mildly electrified my skin

i could cut the tension of this post w a knife

Humming a response to this post.

I just laughed out loud at work, making me duck me head, hunch over me desk, and glance around furtively to see if I’d been observed

hey there delilah what’s it like in (laszlo cravens worth voice) newww yoahk citaaaeh