Fantasy Vagaries

@the-vorkosigan / the-vorkosigan.tumblr.com

35 y.o. I watch superhero flicks for character development. My MCU fanfiction on AO3 (spoiler: it's Stony)

Nobody tells you that 90% of being a fic writer is telling yourself sternly that you CANNOT start a new wip until you finish one of the old ones, and then failing to write anything at all as your brain sulks like a toddler.

canon: they died
fanfic: fUCK YOU

Canon: and so they never met

Fanfic: here’s a funny story

Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.

Fanfic: Actually,


Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.

Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms

Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!

Canon: … and they were roommates.

Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…


Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.

Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened


Canon: They had a coffeeshop

Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS

Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions



Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best


Canon: They were straight

Fanfic: Lol



I love fanfic so so so much.


Canon: Am I joke to you?

Fanon: No, just a disappointment.

I wasn’t going to reblog then the last line killed me.

:O There is a stony fic rec website?


@sabrecmc has a blog @sabrecmcstonyficrecs that we ported to a website about six months ago to keep it both safe and free from the shit that is tumblr™

It lives here: https://www.sabrecmcstonyficrecs.festiveferret.ca/ 90% of the rec list posts have been saved to the site directly and 10% are the original lists that are still on sabre's main blog that are in the process of being ported over as well (but are linked to from the site).

If tumblr goes up in flames, you can still get your fic rec fix! ❤


It's been some time, and now I want a deconstructed/reconstructed 2012 Avengers fic. Only it's 2018, and they are living together in the Compound instead of the Tower, only no one is together and everyone is badly depressed.

Tony is back from space, he's devastated by everything, he never married Pepper, and he and Steve never really made up. Steve is dividing his time between the Compound and NY, trying to be useful, but he can't live with what happened. Maybe they are being very unhealthy fuck buddies that never talk. Natasha is trying to run the Avengers to keep her highly dysfunctional family together, but she's falling apart too. Perhaps they find Clint earlier. Perhaps they get Bruce to come over too, at least part time. He can't make his peace with (what happened with) Natasha and he can't come to terms with who he is now. Perhaps Thor spends some of his time there as well, chugging beer and playing video games and. Everyone is majorly fucked up, and they are barely talking to each other, and when they try, they fight.

They still have movie nights.

They still have movie nights.

eastern/central european things:

  • an internet friend: omg you should watch this movie, it's on netflix. *narrator voice*: but alas it was not on netflix
  • ugly ass trains
  • listening to non-europeans talk about communism/socialism and dying inside because of the worrying amount of misinformation. public healthcare is not communism. stalinism is not marxism. personal property is not private property.
  • the "who actually started ww1" debate
  • "[insert country] doesn't exist"
  • hearing a loud shriek at 2 am
  • far right governments
  • grandpa talking about the war again
  • dumplings
  • this guy:
  • and these bad boys:
  • also alcoholism at the ripe age of 13
  • those women who sell perfume at the train stations... there's so many of them... how... why perfume...
  • walking in the capital and seeing bullet holes in the buildings because they've been left untouched for 70 years
  • the trabant

Cap-IM Rec Week 2021 (Sat)

Something New Saturday, July 24: Which gems have you fallen in love with or enjoyed over the last year for @cap-ironman Rec Week.

Here are some awesome gems I’ve loved - do check out my bookmarks for more. This is a long list :)

Remember to show some love for your hard-working creators!

There are worse reasons to get married than being 35, still single, ready to have kids, and secretly in love with your friend. (WIP)

Post-Iron Man 3 AU.

Tony wrecks a motorcycle. The bike is not the only thing in need of repairs.

Endgame AU.

Fun party trick: disabling Tony’s reactor. Less fun party trick: restarting Tony’s heart, the hard way.

The dust settles and the stones are returned, leaving Steve more aimless than ever. In a world that doesn’t seem to need him anymore, he eventually learns that purpose goes beyond war and love is more than just a four-letter word.

Featuring two halves of a road trip, sidewalk chalk, and a man with whom Steve never expected to share a pull-out couch.

Most men have a laundry list of regrets. Steve Rogers only has one, and he’s not telling just anyone what it is. It might take him the better part of two lifetimes to figure it out, but unlike most men, he gets the chance to make it right. After all, he’s lived it once; there’s no way in hell he’s letting Tony Stark die again.

In 1970, SHIELD HQ was working on a powerful aphrodisiac prototype. Tony Stark from 2023 happens to cut open the wrong box at the wrong time, and Steve Rogers from 2023 doesn’t know how to feel about it.

The first time Potts met Stevens, the man had come limping into the infirmary. His face was pale, but he held himself upright.

After six years of trying and failing to find Tony post-Endgame, Steve finally gets the news that there’s a chance to save him. The cost is steep, but Steve is willing to pay it. The only question is, is Tony willing?

An Orpheus and Eurydice style Endgame fix-it fic.

Steve hates nights like this. He watches from the corner of the room while Tony flirts with some guy, a plastic cup clenched so tightly in his hand that it might break, and wonders why he even came to this party with him. He knows why, of course, because Tony asked if he wanted to and Steve never says no. Tony doesn’t even have to ask twice. One look is all it takes, and Steve would follow him anywhere.

But this is always how it goes - with Tony flirting with someone else while Steve desperately wishes it was him.

It all started because Steve had looked so goddamn sad all the time.

Romance novels said that love was not supposed to be about suffering, or some other poetic lie. Clearly, none of those authors ever spent their days coughing up bouquets.

Steve is pretty sure if he holds a baby he’s going break them, and Tony being good with kids is making him Feel Things.

Steve laughs softly, watching the lights from the tree play over Tony’s face, making his eyes seem even warmer than they usually are. He’s not an idiot, he’s lived with this low level attraction to Tony for years, but ever since Tony came back to the team it’s grown. After Ultron, Steve missed Tony without even realising it. He’d come visit, bringing new tech and uniforms, and stealing off Steve’s plate when they all ate, but it wasn’t the same.

And then Steve got kidnapped and Tony put the suit back on to lead the team in rescuing him.

Or, five times the general public was determined to believe Steve Rogers and Tony Stark were just close friends, and the time Tony made sure they knew otherwise.

After Tony and Steve hook up in the Tower elevator, both of them are totally cool with keeping it casual. Totally, totally cool.

(Or Steve and Tony meet in kindergarten. Their lives will never be the same.)

Steve understood that his position in life meant they could never truly be together - he just hadn’t thought it would hurt so much to find out Lord Stark was engaged.

King Steve spots a mysterious knight on a battlefield and recognizes him immediately. Only, they didn’t part on the best of terms, and it’s been some time.

Here is what Tony knows about Sharon: she tells people she likes blueberry muffins because she thinks it makes her sound grown up, but she prefers chocolate donuts. She likes wildflowers and lilies and violets, but Queen Anne’s lace best of all and that’s what Natasha had brought her for their third date that had tipped her from liking this red-headed spy into loving her. On bad days, she curls up on the couch with the softest blanket she owns and watches old cartoons.

Steve’s arm burned.

Or, 69 times Tony proposes, and the one time Steve says yes.

Or: Steve and Tony have been dancing around each other for a while now, and Steve’s rather content with it. Attending a gala together just might change that.

Cooking, he learned, was an art, and he was an artist.

Alternatively, Steve and Tony have no idea they’re dating. (616)

Steve goes down in the ice regretting he never found his soulmate.

Steve can’t stop touching Tony. Not just right now where they’re lying in his bed, Tony sleeping on his stomach, while Steve traces shapes into Tony’s back. No, he means outside of their room, when they’re around the rest of this new team of Avengers. (616)

Tony and Steve have finally made up after Civil War. They’re friends again. It’s everything Steve wanted. It’s a pity, then, that Steve has to go and ruin everything by dying in Tony’s arms. It’s not a bad place to die. It’s not even the first time.

When Steve wakes up as a ghost—Tony’s personal haunting—he learns all sorts of things he’s sure Tony never wanted him to know. Chief among them: Tony’s been in love with Steve for a long time, and Steve’s apparently the last to know.

Steve’s been dead before, and it didn’t take. He’s determined to make sure that he comes back from this one. But first he has to convince Tony that he hasn’t gone mad from grief, and that Steve is here to stay.

A few years after Steve moved permanently back in time, he started having conversations with Tony again.

When the Avengers are invited to attend Tony Stark’s Annual Masquerade Ball, Steve’s hoping Iron Man will be there–after all, he can wear a mask and keep his identity secret. So when Steve recognizes Iron Man’s distinctive thighs, Steve is SO sure he’s found Iron Man’s pilot… He’s right, but not in a way Steve would ever have guessed… (616)

Hope you guys enjoy the recs, and stay tuned for more! Here is my tag for previous years’ rec lists.

Hello! Could you give me the permission to translate your fic “It’s what you choose that counts, in the end”? For the upcoming Halloween <3


Ohhhh, thank you so much, I’m flattered <3 I’m so sorry I didn’t see this on time - I’m... inactive in the fandom right now, due to... life. But, if you ever want to translate anything of mine in the future, feel free to! I give the blanket permission for that, so people can translate whatever they want as long as they credit me as the author. Thanks again for thinking of me.

So, ah... I got hacked by sunglasses? Lol? If you see me reposting that shit, please let me know. As far as I can see I’m not posting anything and I’ve changed my password, but eh.. that might not work. I don’t know what to do.

There’s always a lingering question that I ask myself, which is why do I, a cis bisexual woman, enjoy romance between two men so much?  

There are easy answers, like that it’s just fetishizing.  And like, I find men attractive, yes.  But I also find women attractive.  I don’t have a problem with enjoying het romance, assuming I can find good ones.  I enjoy stories with female characters I can relate to.

But there’s something much deeper at play, IMO.  A friend of mine who is a gender studies professor was the first person to point this out to me, but a lot of women enjoy m/m romance and gay porn because of the lack of women.  It removes a source of pressure and sexism.  Without any women present, you don’t have to constantly evaluate the sexism of their portrayal, or be reminded of negative experiences in your own life.  It allows women to experience romance and especially sexuality without all the baggage that comes with it in our patriarchal society.

This was recently illustrated to me rather dramatically.  I read a recommendation for a het romance.  And it sounded cute, and came highly recommended.  The tropes at play were fun.  Until I read a snippet and realized this was a romance between a woman and her boss.  I had a visceral negative reaction.  

Instantly I’m thinking of sexual harassment stories I’ve read and heard from other women. I’m thinking of how uncomfortable it would be to have your boss develop feelings for you.  How icky the power dynamics would be, etc.  

And then I realized…this wouldn’t bother me if it were two men.  Now, there’s no logical reason for that.  Sexual harassment is just as wrong when its object is a man.  But I know I’ve read fics with a similar premise and never thought about it.  Because when it’s two men I can accept this is just a light romance, a fantasy, meant to be fun and sexy and not to represent the real world.

But I can’t when it’s a het relationship.  There’s too much baggage there.  Too much societal history of abuse.  I can’t relax enough with the premise to enjoy that story.  

Now some people can.  And that’s fine.  And some people are never going to be okay with power imbalances like that regardless of gender.  That’s also fine.  I don’t think having either reaction makes one morally superior.  It’s okay to just enjoy light entertainment for what it is without going into deep analysis.

But it’s much more difficult for me, and I think for many women, to relax and enjoy romantic and sexual stories when they involve female characters.  We’ve been burned too many times by shitty depictions, by shallow role models, by abuse portrayed as romantic.  We have developed a stress response, a trauma response to heterosexual romance.  We are hyper-reactive to a wide variety of triggers in regards to it.   But removing women from the equation makes stories safer for us.  And maybe it shouldn’t?  In an ideal world?  But for many of us, that’s the truth.


The same is true for het women and m/m visual porn too.