Our new window cleaner works remotely so we have to send him the windows one by one.
The innkeeper knew it would be quicker and easier if Mary and Joseph just took the barn.
If Camelot had been an aesthetically incoherent summerhouse.
Whatever happened in the woods that day changed Alan forever.
Property would benefit from renovation, and the lifting of an 18th Century curse.
Skilled use of image editing software can help make unfurnished properties look far worse.
At the top of the stairs the current owners have added a fourth dimension.
We call this look “Garage Sale Tsunami”.
“Stuck, no. I’m certainly not stuck. I’m just taking some time, thinking things through.”
It’s only a problem if someone wants to shower or cook during office hours.
Render air fresheners redundant by mercilessly assaulting your guests’ other senses.
When Johnny was six he ran away to join the neighbours.
Grandpa never missed an episode of Desperate Housefires.
Remove the need for a vacuum cleaner by eliminating the possibility of floorspace.
If Henry VIII’s 6th wife had been Ivana Trump.
Ming the Merciless never really got over that time nobody turned up for his first sleepover.
“At least on laundry day there’s actually something worth watching”
After a heated argument with some kitchen appliances, the ironing board is sent to the spare bedroom to calm down.
Roses are red
Violets are bue
I’m going home now
Let’s just pretend we never met.