started fiddling with a “What’s New with Alexa?” email and accidentally wrote some short horror fiction
Source: twitter.com
Here’s a totally normal lyrics video for “Pull out” by Death From Above 1979.
what a stupid joke this is
Yesterday I taught my synthesizer to say "beef" then got it to sing the beginning to "Mr. Sandman" in nothing but beefs (beeves)
turn on the sound and behold my masterpiece
Shoutout to Levi’s for using editable text and awkward photography in their promotional emails
Logged into my Zazzle account and found this old design for some custom leggings
Zazzle’s having a Father’s Day sale that lasts until tomorrow so last night I made a bunch of dad-centric gifts that your dad will love, probably!
Finally, there’s a fridge magnet with a picture of a La-Z-Boy on it that your dad can look at on the fridge before he goes back to his La-Z-Boy.
A couple nights ago I was out drinking with a couple of friends, and on our way to get late night hotdogs, one friend bashfully confessed he didn't know what to get his mom for Mother's Day. (Which is admittedly a flippin adorable thing to think about out loud during a Boys Night Out, btw.)
We didn't have any great ideas as we walked, but when we got to the hotdog place, we noticed they had a sign advertising that they sold shrimp by the pound - “No tails! Eat the whole shrimp!" - so we suggested he get his mom a pound of shrimp. "Happy Mother's Day from your Good Shrimp Boy," we said. “Be a Good Shrimp Boy and get your mom a pound of shrimp. She deserves all the shrimp.”
And then the next morning, kind of hung over, I made some shrimp-boy-themed Mother's Day cards for my friend, and now I’m sharing them here. Feel free to print them out and give them to your mother, but only if you are also giving her a lot of shrimp for Mother's Day, or if you are her Shrimp Boy for other reasons.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: making goofs is so much more satisfying when you think of them as gifts instead of work.
Zazzle.com is having a sale today (May 3, 2017) on fridge magnets so I “designed” 8 of them in an hour.
Use coupon code ZAZZMAYFIFTY if you want to magically transform your fridge into a fancy art gallery.
Got a fresh new weather.com rewrite for y’all. I hope those trucks are ok.
I hope Soylent appreciates the free rebranding I just gave them
Fresh weather.com clickbait rewrites. Sure wish those caterpillars would be more respectful
these tumblr ads are getting out of control
A friend told me she was going to LA, but not to see comedy or go hiking or anything particularly fun. She’s helping a friend move.
Which led to us joking about how LA is the city of moving, and how she hopes LA lives up to all the moving hype. So then I opened up Photoshop and made a bunch of quick, shitty fake promotional images for Los Angeles as a city where people are always moving.
Making hyper-specific goofs for one person feels great, because when you send something like this, I’m sure part of them is thinking, “No way he actually put effort into this throwaway joke.”
But that very process has led to some of my favorite goofs! I rewrote a Duolingo email because I overheard two friends talking about how they woke up to that guilt-trippy email from Duolingo. I made that joke thinking about how I wanted those two specific people to laugh and not much else, and I think that one tweet has been passed around on the internet enough to where it’s been seen over a million times now.
I think my point is, making something is more fun if you think of it as a gift more than a piece of work.
If Facebook ads are going to use inappropriate but provocative photos then I’m going to change the words so the photos make more sense.
Today I got an email from a brand insisting it was just one of the gang, so I changed all the words and now I think y’all should smooch a bulb