Door's of the Universe

Rian went silent when words started spilling out of Marcus, his expression pained. The world had never been a dry cut black and white for the blond, he had been on both sides of the fence too often to be the one to pass out judgment and he knew good people could do bad things and the other way around. Being left behind was both a fear and a reality in his life just as he had left people he left behind. He took a deep breath, reminding himself of all those things, his hand taking Marcus’ to give it a squeeze.

“Look, I meant it when I said I am glad you came. I wouldn’t want it any other way, okay? I want to help, I want to be here for you” he took another deep breath “and I really, really don’t want you to suffer. That won’t change no matter how hurt I get, alright?” Serious eyes regarded the other man for a while before he sighed “dude, I forgave you like two seconds after we sat down. I am pretty sure you’re one of those people I would always forgive” he smiled gently, his cheeks coloring “eh…are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you need a hug?”

Everything in Marcus had felt twisted for longer than he could remember. He realised suddenly that he’d been tense since all of this started and stressed beyond belief. Now it all lifted in one sudden motion and his eyes burned with tears that he didn’t want to fall.

Rian had given him a glimmer of hope that he was sure he musn’t have felt in months; though it had likely been longer for Rian, he would have to calculate it out later. He felt the gentle press of Rian’s hand and let out a sigh of relief, pushing himself forward and wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace, his face burying itself against his chest. He was too scared to say anything in case it sent tears cascading down his cheek and he was sure the tightness of his throat would make anything he said sound pitiful. But a hug was just what he needed.

Rian bit into his lower lip at the apology, shrugging a bit as he tried to push down darker emotions again. He took a deep breath, a hand lifting to ghost light fingers against Marcus’ cheek before he pulled back. He didn’t even know if he had the right to touch the other man anymore, he should probably not push his luck with it any time soon “hey, it happens. I have done it too. My situation might even have been similar when I did” he mumbled, a small smile gracing his lips.

He was thankful he hadn’t ventured much into the sun that day since it would be that much harder to tell he was paling. He tried to keep his expression neutral though the apprehension still shone through “someone eh…destoroyed that whole place?” he cleared his throat “that’s really not very uplifting” he frowned, knowing he probably didn’t have the juice to fend off someone that strong, though it wouldn’t be for the lack of trying. His expression turned stubborn “you stay as long as you need, and we’ll figure something out, alright? We’re in it together now” he nodded firmly.

That oh-so-gentle touch was almost more than he could handle and Marcus felt his cheeks flush. As soon as he stopped, he missed his touch and became progressively more annoyed with himself for ever having left at all. Rian deserved better than this, all of it, especially considering everything he already dealt with by himself; of which, Marcus didn't even know the half.

"It doesn't have to be..." He began guiltily. "... Us, I mean. I know I've hurt you and I wouldn't blame you if you just told me to leave right now. I just... l came here because I was scared and I missed you. And you understand me. You understand what this all means better than anyone else. What he... it, I don't know... what he destroyed was a piece of me. And it was more too. I dont know how else to describe it." Marcus paused, nervously glancing down at his own hands, fidgeting in his lap. "I just hope you can forgive me, at least."

Once the hurt and the anger was let go of he slipped back to how he’d used to be with Marcus, moving on so quickly it should make heads spin. He smiled easily at Marcus “alright, as long as the clowns are ruled out I am in.” He patted the man’s shoulder before his brows drew down, anger showing in his eyes at the thought of someone chasing after his Marcus “I am glad you came here. I will do whatever I can, and the wards should hold against a few blasts of any power, though I’m not the most skilled when it comes to that kind of thing.”

A gentle hand grabbed hold of Marcus’ arm, steering him into a richly decorated living room, kept mostly in cream and golden hues. Everything around them spoke of wealth an expensive taste and crashed spectacularly with Rian’s appearance. He looked like he would be more comfortable in more modest surroundings, though he still didn’t seem to pay it any mind as he flopped down on a sofa, patting the seat beside him “just start at the beginning. Maybe…start at the moment you took off and never got back to me.”

Rian was truly amazing. Marcus found himself slightly in awe of the young man standing before him and the incredible patience and understanding he showed, despite what must have been a confusing situation. Now all kinds of things came to the fore that he seriously considered going back and changing; he'd done wrong by Rian and the temptation to do something only he could do, go back and change his decisions, was almost overwhelming. Only he knew the true cost of such actions though and the stakes were too high.

Anxiously, he followed Rian to the couch and perched himself next to him, letting that hand on his shoulder be his anchor. "I'm so sorry that I just left." He beganquietly, a frown furrowing his brow.

'I wasn't sure what the situation was going to be and I couldn't bring anyone into it until I had more information. I remember waking up and just feeling... empty. Not because of you or anything, just... something in me was missing. I'm sorry, it's hard to explain. I found out later, the place I made... the one I showed you; it was gone. This... I don't know whether to call it a man or a creature... they had destroyed it. And then they became aware of me and they've been chasing me ever since. I didn't know where else to go and I missed you anyway. But I can strengthen the wards. I don't know how long I can do it for but I'm running out of ideas." He finished with a sigh, the words having come out in a rush and he smiled nervously at Rian, realising just how glad he was to see him again.

He almost shied away when Marcus moved closer the man’s scent wrapping around him, making his stomach clench. He wanted very badly to continue being angry or at least cold, it was so much easier than being hurt or weak. He wasn’t able to hold onto any of it when Marcus started talking, worry replacing it all.

His eyes darkened a bit with concern, the hybrid stepping closer. His gaze raked over the other man to determine if there was any damage there he hadn’t seen at first glance, his hands twitching with the need to physically examine the other man. He managed to curb the urge even if he was dipping in to take Marcus’ scent, eyes narrowing at the all foreign scents clinging to the man’s clothes and hair.

He sighed softy as he let the initial hurt go, focusing on the matter at hand, perhaps hoping the man would have an explanation that didn’t involve being bored with Rian or just not wanting him. “What is going on? Why do you need to hide?” he frowned a bit, his voice sounding too hoarse “and don’t worry about bringing the trouble with you, whatever it is I’d rather you came here than fight it alone. Unless it involves clowns, then you’re on your own” he gave Marcus a wry smile, one hand lifting to touch the man’s shoulder just to make sure he was real.

Relief washed over him and Marcus relaxed visibly as soon as Rian stepped closer and he felt the comforting weight of his hand on his shoulder. He didn't know how to explain anything to make Rian feel better, but now he knew for certain that he shouldn't have got him involved. Rian was too ready to help and he couldn't possibly understand what this all meant.

"Well, it's definitely not clowns..." He replied with a haggard laugh. Now that he was more relaxed, the adrenaline was beginning to wear off and he shifted just a little awkwardly. "I don't even know where to begin or how to explain, I-.... I'm being chased... by someone with a lot of power. And I don't know what else to do."

All he really wanted to do was collapse in Rian's arms and cry for the next few hours; the need to do so burned hot in his throat. But he ignored it, still too anxious to completely let his guard down.

Marcus enjoyed the kiss, probably more than he should have and he was extremely reluctant to part. Apparently, during his absence, he’d found more than a little confidence.

“I don’t mind.” He murmured in reply, combing fingers through Thomas’ hair just to feel it again. “I still don’t have much of an appetite.” That much, at least, hadn’t changed. He’d always eaten very little and often tended to leave a few bites at least of whatever he had been eating. “What do you feel like?”

“You gotta eat, babe. It’s important to keep ya healthy, y’know?” He suggested softly, a kiss to his cheek as he shifted in his seat to reach for the takeout menus in the side drawer. “I’m feeling like some Japanese and Thai food. Does that sound appealing to you? I’ve got this delivery menu here…I’m pretty simple though…just these special chicken wing things and chicken teriyaki…maybe some pad thai.” A hand rested at his stomach, giving it a pat. “Enough to do me for a couple meals…or just one if you wanted to pick at it all with me.”

Shifting again, he reached for his cellphone and passed the menu off to Marcus to look at. “Oh – and when did you get to be so bold?” he teased.

Smiling at his caring tone, Marcus watched him and then took the menus delicately. Even if he did pick at what Thomas got, there would still be plenty left afterwards. Regular meals had never really been the norm for him, even as a child. Even thinking that conjured bittersweet memories and he smiled sadly as he opened the menus to search.

"That all sounds good to me and I wouldn't really be sure what I would like, so... maybe I'll just pick at yours?" He suggested with a hopeful little smile, a not-so-subtle spark entering his eyes. "I missed you very much while I was away and I realised that I have to just make the most of everything good in my life now..."

yo what are you always so stressed about?

me:

It was unfair how quickly Marcus could spellbind Rian, even when he was pissed off and in no mood to be melted by the man. Yet he felt himself go fuzzy around the edges the  moment he laid eyes on the other man. Soft heat bloomed in his chest, a hint of relief making itself known as he checked the other over for damage.

The fact that Marcus managed to melt him down in the matter of seconds before any real talk had happened made the abandonment hurt all the more, though the anger fizzled out until the gaze that met the other man’s eyes was filled with sorrow and no other emotion. He averted his eyes quickly, hating how pathetic he was when it came to this person.

His shoulders hunched, his eyes landing on the other man’s chest to avoid looking him in the eye again “I’m your last resort then?” he meant for the words to come out sharp, the tone bordering on pleading instead “what do you want?”

The look of hurt and pain on Rian’s face was like a stab in the gut for Marcus and was almost more than he could bear. He couldn’t stand the thought that he could have caused him so much anguish and he nearly turned and ran away again. But he that would have been even worse and he forced himself to move and stand in front of him and face him properly.

“No, I haven’t seen anyone else, it would be too dangerous. I... maybe I shouldn’t have come here either. I don’t want to put you in danger I just...” His words faltered a little as he realised suddenly that all he wanted to do now was cry. He’d run away and fought for so long now and to come back to Rian like this was incredibly difficult and painful.

“I knew it was warded here and...” He glanced down, his words catching in his throat. “I hoped that maybe I could hide, maybe just for a little while, at least until I can figure everything out.” He’d missed Rian so much and his frosty reception was proving more painful than anything he’d endured while he was away.

“Thank you.” He grinned, laughing gently at his rather intimate touch and even more so when he tugged him down onto his lap. Marcus pressed in close, wrapping his arms around Thomas’ shoulders and nodded slightly. “That sounds like a lovely date…” He grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, ensuring it held all the passion for Thomas he currently felt.

His stomach tightened, skin tingling with slight anxiety from the sudden closeness and intimacy; this was it - a new start. It both excited and scared him entirely. Gently, Thomas reached up to take his glasses off of Marcus’ face, setting them aside as their lips met; arms entwined around him to hold him close. Moments later, he’d part from the kiss breathlessly. “What are you in the mood for? I mean…food wise…”

Marcus enjoyed the kiss, probably more than he should have and he was extremely reluctant to part. Apparently, during his absence, he'd found more than a little confidence.

"I don't mind." He murmured in reply, combing fingers through Thomas' hair just to feel it again. "I still don't have much of an appetite." That much, at least, hadn't changed. He'd always eaten very little and often tended to leave a few bites at least of whatever he had been eating. "What do you feel like?"

All vampires he could have potentially have had a bitch fight with were still sleeping, and though it was too soon to celebrate, he had high hopes that the peace would last. He ignored the hollow gnawing in his chest that insisted Rian was a kite without a string and that the peace felt more like being lonely than anything. He’d firmly pushed away any and all thoughts that could potentially make him feel the weight of the world, which meant he was mostly staring at the TV screen, watching the Kardashians super size trivial matters of their lives.

The shift of energy near by made him look away from the screen, zeroing in on the sound of a heartbeat as someone entered the house. The mirrors were warded so just a select few wolves could enter that way, and the energy that had opened whatever portal was used felt sharper than a mirror portal would. His eyebrows drew down as he got out of the sofa, moving on bare feet over the floor. The sound of Marcus’ voice calling out his name had him freezing mid step, a number of conflicting emotions rushing through him all at once.

It had been a good while since he had heard from the man. He’d been stupid enough to think they had something between them, of course instead the man had taken off on Rian, not bothering to answer the few pathetic texts the hybrid had shot his way. He had half way expected it like he did with everyone else in his life, yet for some reason the abandonment had shocked him too, darkening his world that much more.

His eyes narrowed as he heard footsteps coming closer, catching the sound of Marcus’ heart beating too fast right before he got the first whiff of his scent. He stepped through the door into the hall, gazing up the stairs with a unfriendly look on his face, masking all other emotion with anger so he didn’t risk ending up a pathetic heap by the other man’s feet, begging him not to leave him again.

None of this had gone according to plan and now things were even more of a mess. Marcus felt terrible for leaving Rian the way he had, but there had been no choice. He’d needed to protect him and that had been the only way to do that. Or, at least, that’s what he’d told himself at the time. Now he wasn’t sure what the right thing was. 

He knew Rian was here somewhere, he could see him and he knew too that, up until his arrival here, at least, the young wolf’s plan for his day had not changed. Now, of course, whatever decisions he was making had vanished into thin air but Marcus was sure that he would be well aware of his presence. He would either be sitting on the couch, waiting for Marcus to come to him or...

Standing right at the bottom of the stairs staring angrily up at him. 

Marcus gulped, those old feelings of guilt crashing over him again and he felt his heart drop. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Rian that angry before; definitely not at him anyway.

“Rian...” He began and then momentarily lost his voice, wondering if he should have even bothered coming here at all. Perhaps it was just a good way to make everything a million times worse.

“I... I’m sorry. I... well I’m actually sorry for everything. I just didn’t know where else to go.” He explained quietly and he slowly began making his way down the stairs, one tentative step at a time.

Hands traveled downwards to playfully cup the others rear, pulling him even closer with a wide smile on his face. “Yeah? You think so? They look pretty damn cute on you as well.” Thomas tugged him down to sit on his lap, nuzzling close. “Staying in is fine with me, I’ll let you pick a movie – we can order one on the television and order some food as well.”

“Thank you.” He grinned, laughing gently at his rather intimate touch and even more so when he tugged him down onto his lap. Marcus pressed in close, wrapping his arms around Thomas’ shoulders and nodded slightly. “That sounds like a lovely date...” He grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, ensuring it held all the passion for Thomas he currently felt.

“Yes, you are.” He grinned, kissing his cheek again before letting him lean back; soft laughter leaving his lips at the comment. Thomas looked at him as if he were shocked. “What do you mean? I’ve always been this smart.” arms gave him another playful squeeze before releasing him all together to take his hands in his.

“Maybe we can go on a date if you wanted to go…or stay in and watch a movie? I want to spend all my time getting to know you again.” Thomas sat down on his chair again, tugging Marcus closer to him; his arms wrapping around his waist.

“My mistake...” He teased, grinning as he followed Thomas’ movements and pressed himself against him. He gazed down at him with a smile, lifting a hand to gently stroke through his hair. 

“Staying in sounds good to me. If you would want to, of course.” He suggested with a smile, plucking off his glasses and putting them on himself. “I like you in these. They suit you.”

Marcus laughed gently at his choice of words; phrasing that was implicitly his and made him entirely who he was. And entirely adorable for that matter. He pressed himself flush to Thomas as soon as he was pulled back in and a pleased grin settled on his face. His roller coaster of emotions was settling on something very happy; it all seemed to be going positively now.

“I’d do everything I can before I let any spirit’s like Old Man Jerry harm you. All this power has to help those I care about somehow at least.” He insisted with a smile and leaned back to look at him properly. “I want to be with you again… like we used to. If we could even do that now.”

A low content hum left him as their bodies met; arms circling around him once again, content smile tugging at his lips. “I’m sure Old Man Jerry is very intimidated by you, look at you – my tough guy.” Thomas pressed a kiss to his forehead, hands back to tracing patterns along his back; turning his head now to hide his expression.

It surely wasn’t wrong to wish for things to be as they once were but it wasn’t something that Thomas thought was the right course of action – or easy for that matter. Things had changed slightly, he’d gone back to researching and handling occasional projects with the Talamasca and things were different but he wanted to make it work more than ever. “I’m not sure if it could be exactly how it was. Maybe we can build something new together? Something better? Everything still stands, all those feelings for you and all that. That never changed but I think we both have changed as well, in our time apart.”

"As he should be, I'm very powerful." He replied with a mischievous grin and a gentle laugh, remaining pressed against Thomas now. It felt too good to be this close to part company now.

Thomas was right though, whether Marcus wanted to admit it or not. "I suppose a lot would have changed. But I still feel the same about you too." He murmured reluctantly and then leaned back with a grin. "When did you get so smart?" He teased.

Even if things had changed, they still felt the same qbout each other, so it would still work. Their feelings were the most important part and to know that Thomas still felt the same way he did filled him with a lot of hope.

Marcus didn’t want him to let go, but he gave him a slight smile when he leaned back and nodded quickly, immediately regretting the loss of his touch when he moved away altogether. 

“I’m ok and… I want to stay. I had this stupid idea that I was putting you in danger but I think…” He glanced down at his feet again and sighed wearily. “I think I was just afraid. But I haven’t moved on, I want to be with you…. if you would want me, I mean.” He frowned, stepping forward again to take his hand between both of his.

How was it that this boy was able to make his stomach flutter and heart ache both at once and so quickly? Watching Marcus glance down, appearing shy or nervous had him gnawing at his own body lip. “You wouldn’t be putting me in any more danger than I put myself in, let’s be real here. As we speak, Old Man Jerry is hollering about shit from the corner of the room.” Thomas chuckled, reaching out to pull him back in. “If anything, these spirits are gonna get to me before any other danger you perceive, babe.” It was a slip, a force of habit - it left his mouth so effortlessly and seemed so natural that he didn’t dare question it. “Don’t be a fucking nutter, will ya? I wanted you since the day you left.”

Marcus laughed gently at his choice of words; phrasing that was implicitly his and made him entirely who he was. And entirely adorable for that matter. He pressed himself flush to Thomas as soon as he was pulled back in and a pleased grin settled on his face. His roller coaster of emotions was settling on something very happy; it all seemed to be going positively now.

"I'd do everything I can before I let any spirit's like Old Man Jerry harm you. All this power has to help those I care about somehow at least." He insisted with a smile and leaned back to look at him properly. "I want to be with you again... like we used to. If we could even do that now."

That was really all it took. Marcus felt relief flood through him and he pressed himself against Thomas’ chest, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly. “I’ve missed you too, so much.” He replied, resting his head on his shoulder and relaxing completely. “I hope you don’t mind me finding you, I just had to. I needed to know you were ok.”

Hands gently massaged soothing circles along his back, his head resting contently against the others. “I don’t mind…it’s not like I’ve been doing much of anything besides research and talking to the dead. Same old shit, different day.” he chuckled dryly, loosening his hold slightly to get a proper look at him. “So, you’re okay? Are you here to stay or will you be taking off again? I mean…I don’t –” he hesitated, releasing him all together with a heavy sigh.

“I don’t expect things to just fall back into place like they were…I understand if you’ve moved on…shit separated us and I didn’t think I’d even see you again.”

Marcus didn’t want him to let go, but he gave him a slight smile when he leaned back and nodded quickly, immediately regretting the loss of his touch when he moved away altogether. 

“I’m ok and... I want to stay. I had this stupid idea that I was putting you in danger but I think...” He glanced down at his feet again and sighed wearily. “I think I was just afraid. But I haven’t moved on, I want to be with you.... if you would want me, I mean.” He frowned, stepping forward again to take his hand between both of his.

BOLD ANY FEARS WHICH APPLY TO YOUR MUSE. ITALICIZE WHAT MAKES THEM UNCOMFORTABLE.

TAGGED BY: @notafuckingsaviour

TAGGING: @rian-garou, @thelionscrimsonclaws, @talamascan-miller, @amadeo-child-of-the-renaissance

the dark ⋆ fire ⋆ open water ⋆ deep water ⋆ being alone ⋆ crowded spaces ⋆confined spaces⋆ change ⋆ failure ⋆ war ⋆ loss of control ⋆powerlessness ⋆ prison ⋆ blood ⋆ drowning ⋆suffocation ⋆ public speaking ⋆ natural animals ⋆ the supernatural ⋆ heights ⋆death ⋆ dying⋆ intimacy ⋆ rejection ⋆ abandonment ⋆ loss ⋆ the unknown ⋆ the future ⋆ not being good enough ⋆ scary stories ⋆ speaking to new people ⋆ poverty⋆ loud noises ⋆ being touched

“Oh…” Marcus murmured softly, both surprised and a little crest-fallen. His response wasn’t entirely negative, but it wasn’t entirely positive either. He glanced down at his own shoes and shifted awkwardly. “I couldn’t be angry with you… I… I disappeared too.” He murmured, glancing up at him again.

In no way did he mean it to come off as offensive but he was never quite good at saying the right thing. With a reserved sigh, he approached the other cautiously to take him into his arms. It was always so adorable how he stood, so shy seeming as if he was trying to shrink back into himself. “I know. Stop hiding and shrinking okay, handsome. I’ve missed you.” Arms wound around his him, pulling him flush against his body.

That was really all it took. Marcus felt relief flood through him and he pressed himself against Thomas’ chest, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly. “I’ve missed you too, so much.” He replied, resting his head on his shoulder and relaxing completely. “I hope you don’t mind me finding you, I just had to. I needed to know you were ok.”

Marcus felt his cheeks flush just seeing him in those glasses and a small, uncertain smile crept onto his lips. “I’ve missed you too.” He agreed, his voice growing a little more hopeful. He could barely remember how long he’d been away now, time moved differently everywhere he went. “You’re not… angry with me, are you?” He asked quietly.

His forehead scrunched up in confusion, a quick shake to his head. “No…I’m not angry with you…I mean, it’s odd to see you but I’m not angry.” He stood up, digging his hands deep into the front pocket of his jeans; shoulders slumped back. “I would think that you would be angry with me, for disappearing, y’know?”

“Oh...” Marcus murmured softly, both surprised and a little crest-fallen. His response wasn’t entirely negative, but it wasn’t entirely positive either. He glanced down at his own shoes and shifted awkwardly. “I couldn’t be angry with you... I... I disappeared too.” He murmured, glancing up at him again.

Marcus bit his lips nervously and folded his hands behind his back, though his fingers fidgeted anxiously. “Yes…” He murmured quietly, uncertain if Thomas would be angry with him or not.

Spinning in his chair, he pushed his reading glasses up further on his nose; taking a moment in silence to take in the sight of the other male. It’d been too long, there had been that ache in his chest since they’d been apart. He wasn’t even sure if Marcus would remember him or care that he was back. “In the flesh…I’ve fucking missed you, you know that?”

Marcus felt his cheeks flush just seeing him in those glasses and a small, uncertain smile crept onto his lips. “I’ve missed you too.” He agreed, his voice growing a little more hopeful. He could barely remember how long he’d been away now, time moved differently everywhere he went. “You’re not... angry with me, are you?” He asked quietly.