Cabbage, a good polite boy who doesn't get a many pictures because my phone is an asshole and doesn't like to photograph anything black...
Brussel Sprout, obnoxious demon bastard child
so I'm reading a book of insults, as you do, and I am stumped. pole-axed. agog. if there were legal curses in ancient Egypt, what were the illegal curses?? who decided which curses were legal and which ones weren't?? the public (me) deserves to know
[end submission] i'm passing this off to @thatlittleegyptologist because legal texts are her whole thing but i will say this is a misunderstanding of the word "legal". it's not the legal/illegal sense it's the like... legal warning sense. legal warning would be a better term actually y'know like. a legal contract is a contract drawn up by lawyers... or it could be a contract that does not violate any laws. i hate english.
Hello and welcome to...
[image id: Image of the 'You just activated my trap card meme' which features a black man in a beige and white jacket, looking smug as he prepares to play yugioh cards. end id.]
What you've got there is a quote from what's known as the Adoption Papyrus, which is a legal document created for Nebnefer and Nanefer, a couple who were unable to have children of their own. This being so, that Nebnefer formally adopted his wife as his 'child' so that she would become the sole heir and his family couldn't get their hands on his property and any wealth the two had made together. Basically, the original document serves as a procès-verbal, so if the family tried to take her inheritance away, she could produce this document and they'd have to hand it back. They were still in some legal jeopardy, because his wife had no children, but could on his death, remarry, and potentially have children with a new partner. This would still avoid the dreaded family getting hold of his property and turfing his wife out to live alone on the streets. This is what happened to women if they were not provided for by their husbands before death and the family of the deceased husband wasn't kind. Nebnefer would have been well within his rights to cast aside Nanefer for a wife who could produce children, as per Egyptian custom, but he didn't, and instead created this document to protect her.
So 17 years later an amendment is made to the same document by Nebnefer and Rennefer (same woman, just the name has changed for some reason). During this time they have bought a servant woman, and she has three children. Rennefer is written about in the 1st person, and she states that she has adopted the children of this servant as her own and has been raising them as her own. It is also noted that Rennefer's brother Pendiu has moved in, in the meantime, and has married the eldest daughter of the servant woman. In creating this amendment, Nebnefer not only bequeaths his estate to his three adopted children, but this process formally makes them 'freemen of the Pharaoh', while their mother remains a servant and gives up claim to them, as does whomever their father is. Due to the fact that Pendiu has married the eldest daughter, he becomes de-facto in charge of the estate on Nebnefer's death, but this will take care of Rennefer and the three children. This is the specific passage:
On this day: statement of the Chief of the Stable Nebnefer together with his wife, the Chantress of Seth (of) Sepermeru, Rennefer, to the effect that:
“We have bought a female slave Dinihutiry, and she bore these 3 children – one male and two female, total 3 – and I took them and I looked after them and brought them up, and I have reached today with them, with then not doing anything bad against me, but doing good to me, and there being no (other) son or daughter (of ours) apart from them, and the Chief of the Stable Pendiu entered my house, and he made Taamenniut, their elder sister, as wife, he being mine – my younger brother – and I accepted him for her. He is with her today. Look, I have made them free men of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h.. If she shall give birth, a son or daughter, they are freemen of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h. just the same, being with the Chief of the Stable Pendiu, this younger brother of mine, the younger ones together with their elder sister in the house of Pendiu, this Chief of the Stable, this younger brother of mine. I am making him into a son for me today just like them.”
On the verso, the reverse of the document, is where we find the threat you've got quoted there. This is specifically targeted at Nebnefer's family who are not happy at being cut out of receiving his property and seek to denounce the children as illegitimate. The full passage reads:
She said: “As Amun endures, as the Ruler l.p.h. endures, I make these people whom I have publicised as freemen of the Land of Pharaoh, l.p.h., so that if the son or daughter, brother or sister of their mother or their father should make claim against them, apart from Pendiu, the son of mine, with whom they are in no way slaves, but with whom they are brothers and children, being freemen of the Land <of Pharaoh, l.p.h.>, a donkey shall fuck him, and a donkey shall fuck his wife, the one who shall say “Slave!” to one of them. If I have fields in the countryside, if I have any property in the world, if I have SAwAtyw, they are divided up for my 4 children, Pendiu being one of them. As for all the things I have said, they are entrusted to Pendiu, this child of mine who has acted well to me when I have been a widow, and my husband dead.”
Basically, she's saying 'If my husband's brothers and sisters want to make a fuss about this, and insult the children by calling them slaves, then I hope a donkey fucks him and then also fucks his wife for good measure. They're legitimate, don't fucking come for them or you will face the consequences.'
This is a 'legal threat' in the sense that it is one that comes within a legal document, and legal documents tend to have this sort of thing in them. They're not curses, because it relies on an action being taken, which is why we say 'threat' not 'curse'. It's 'I hope a donkey will fuck you in the ass if you mess with my kids' not 'a donkey will fuck you in the ass if you mess with my kids'. The fact that Nebnefer's brothers and sisters are witnesses to this document, means that they are well aware of its contents and the threat it contains should they seek to delegitimise it.
I absolutely fucking love that we know this. We have the details of a family squabble and its legal resolution from thousands of years ago, we're able to tell things about the lives and personalities of these people despite the vast gulf of time that separates us.
Just...trying to imagine filling out a living will or something and including some salty asides on the back of one page because my relatives are nutsacks...and having it discovered, documented, and heatedly discussed centuries in the future.
Moral of the story; if you’re going to curse someone, make it memorable?
I want to make a post about the situation in Sweden so that people know what's going on. I know everyone is talking about the queen dying and how that will destroy the UK financially and the like, and it was 9/11, but.
The election here was yesterday and the preliminary results indicate that our second biggest party, SverigeDemokraterna, one rooted in nazism and fascism, will have a lot of influence over the country the next 4 years. They're one of Europe's biggest extreme right parties and the biggest in the world to be nazis through and through.
Things are going to be hell for racial minorities, immigrants, refugees, disabled folks, Muslims, Jews, the LGBTQ+ (especially trans), women and people/families with low income.
I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified. I'm exhausted. I've stayed up well past midnight on weekdays trying to get people to vote left and to make as much noise and make it known what the conservatives are doing to us and to get more engaged politically.
But I'm working against the grain here, what with our newstations and general media gave SverigeDemokraterna so much attention (positive and negative). Plus, the other traditionally conservative parties also rallied HARD for them, to the point that they got bigger than them.
This won't mean I'll give up and cower, I can't afford that. But it means that things are terrifying for those of us who are especially racial minorities. Because the nazis will get inspired by the results to get more active out there and cause so much damage.
Sweden has excellent PR. You wouldn't know these things because they make sure to seem like a small and peaceful country that is the posterchild for equality. But it's far from it. And It's only going downhill from here. I could list all of the truly heinous things that have been going on here the past few years but we would be here forever.
What I want to say though, is that Sweden has a truly revolting racism problem. Maybe not to the extent of the US, but it's not good. We were the forefathers of race biology after all. And that has ultimately paved the road for this election result.
If you see this, please reblog and share. More people deserve to know the truth about the state of this country.
Sandman got me really inspired to paint and mess about.
Genuinely starting to think Charles is trying bring down the monarchy from within.
Prince Andrew is a paedophile and deserves to rot in jail.
Out of curiosity, why not Princess Anne?
She doesn't want it.
In theory, the King probably could get permission from Parliament to appoint anyone.
However, Princess Anne has on at least 2 occasions declined to have her position in the line of succession moved up. The possibility of changing her place in the line of succession was first suggested in the 1970s, I believe, and she wanted none of it. She refused a title for her husband (either of them), and refused a title for her son. As far as I can tell, the further away from the crown she is, the better she feels.
Which is probably one of the reasons she's one of the better regarded royals. Also the thing about telling a would be kidnapper to 'naff off'.
Huh. Interesting. So it’s her choice, not Charles’ choice.
Long after the time had passed for male GOP officials to stop, to just stop, pretending they know or understand anything about female anatomy, reproductive organs, medical emergencies and basic preventative health care, they have continued to talk. They have continued to talk and talk and talk even when the massive blowback after the Dobbs decision proved it was an error; Kansas proved it was an error; and after the surprise election of Pat Ryan in a New York special election proved it was an error. Every time a Republican man opens his mouth to talk about women’s bodies, ten new female voters get their wings. Yet somehow, they cannot seem to stop themselves!
It is surely the very textbook definition of “privilege” to find yourself unbothered by protests, polling numbers, and voter registration data. Justice Samuel Alito actually laughed in the face of outraged females who called out the bad history, bad economics, and bad medicine in his leaked draft opinion—their complaints were numerous and well-founded, yet he didn’t change a thing. Instead, he smugly told women that if they didn’t like the outcome in Dobbs, they could just “seek to affect the legislative process by influencing public opinion, lobbying legislators, voting, and running for office” and that “women are not without electoral or political power.” The court’s newest approval ratings suggest the same, though I don’t think Justice Alito likes that kind of political power very much at all.
Because, Happy Women’s Equality Day, women are taking him up on the offer. One analysis of the Kansas’ voter registration list showed that in the week after Dobbs, more than 70 percent of newly registered voters in that state were women. Those numbers, according to an Upshot analysis of 10 states with available voter registration data, show consistently higher registration for women after the Dobbs leak in May. As Jennifer Rubin recently noted, The Philadelphia Inquirer reported that, “62 percent of women registering since Dobbs registered as Democrats, 15 percent as Republicans and that 54 percent were younger than 25.” And a Pew Research Center poll indicates that “a majority of registered voters (56 percent) say the issue of abortion will be very important in their midterm vote, up from 43 percent in March.” Tom Bonier, CEO Of TargetSmart recently posted on Twitter: “We are seeing early signs of what could lead to a huge increase in women voting in November. …This surge is young and female.” Both Mitch McConnell and RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel are panicking about the GOP’s odds in Congress, directly connected to fundraising around abortion.
I have a lot of theories about why nobody should be surprised that women are friggin’ furious right now, which include, as Mark Joseph Stern has been arguing all summer, the increasingly horrifying tales of women, disproportionately on teenagers and victims of violence, left to suffer from sepsis, refused prescriptions and denied treatment for ectopic pregnancies, and ever more horrors. And yet, the forced birth Republicans continue to insist that none of this is happening, or that journalists and physicians are making it all up.
If you’ve ever suffered a miscarriage, sought emergency contraception, needed cancer drugs that were available to you in May and unavailable today, or lost a much-wanted pregnancy and then had to litigate the repercussions with hospital attorneys and wild-eyed state prosecutors, you are afraid and anxious right now. That is happening. There are a lot of us. And as President Biden warned this week, Democrats losing Congress will mean that abortion is in peril everywhere.
Yet the men, they just keep on talking. Some examples…
“They’re saying democracy doesn’t matter either. But it turns out they don’t get to decide that. You do.”
If you're getting rid of something and you insist on it going in the garbage instead of to someone who needs it, you're a monster. How is that even a controversial statement?
Beyond that, “feeding the animals”??? What kind of sick fuck dehumanizes people like that.
whoever the fuck i saw saying “i can’t stand english bitching because they’re so complacent” and whoever else thinks we’re not doing enough i’d like to invite you to DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH.
a law was recently passed that deemed any kind of protesting as disruptive and able to be punished by the police, alongside giving the police more power.
we all watched the police storm the PEACEFUL VIGIL for sarah everard - a woman raped and murdered by a police officer.
PEOPLE ARE CURRENTLY BEING ARRESTED FOR OUTWARDLY EXPRESSING ANY SORT OF DISPLEASURE WITH THE MONARCHY.
A WOMAN WAS ARRESTED FOR HOLDING UP A SIGN. JUST HOLDING IT.
PEOPLE WERE ARRESTED FOR BOOING.
everything in britain has been put to a standstill. hospital appointments have been cancelled. funerals have been cancelled. we can’t do anything about it.
many of us will be unable to pay our energy bills this winter. we will freeze. we will starve.
it has been demonstrated to us time and time and time again that protests simply make people talk about how we were protesting and never why. and now the police has increased power to punish us for any public opinion that they don’t like.
we have been under tory rule for 12 years. 12 years of the same people - hey americans, can you imagine that?
we are tired, no, we are exhausted. we are struggling. we are scared. and it has been made clear to us that our government does not care.
so fucking forgive us if we’re putting our own survival over the opinions of americans (and other non-brits but americans are the worst) online who expect us to learn everything about their politics and their country and don’t put in an ounce of effort to learn about ours.
Fun fact: They arrested somebody for heckling Prince Andrew. This is already a harsher response from law enforcement than the one Prince Andrew himself received for allegedly being part of an international sex-trafficking ring.
Just a few short months ago, the UK was admonishing Russia for repressing protests against its invasion of Ukraine...
blank sign protests will never stop being fucking awesome for the way they make police look like complete tools
Genuinely starting to think Charles is trying bring down the monarchy from within.
Prince Andrew is a paedophile and deserves to rot in jail.
Out of curiosity, why not Princess Anne?
I love that Hob just has no actual idea what the fuck he’s dealing with regarding Dream.
He doesn’t even know the guys name, just that he seems to be some kind of immortal being with powers and an ✨aesthetic✨.
I’ll bet he spends some time testing theories. He brings cold iron in his pocket to the 1489 meetup. Crucifix to the 1589 meetup. A whole clove of garlic in 1689. Dream knows and is mostly amused.
Judging ™ aka flirty glancing to confirm he agrees
For which he was the first engineer to be called a “steely-eyed missile man”.
The full story is amazing.
So Apollo 12 was struck by lightning 36 seconds after liftoff, which caused a power surge for obvious reasons. Instruments began to malfunction, telemetry was garbled, and the Flight Director was about to order the mission aborted.
However, a year before, Aaron had been observing a test at Kennedy Space Center and noticed some unusual readings during the test. On his own, he dug into the data and equipment, and found that the weird readings came from the little known Signal Conditioning Equipment (SCE) system, and that it could be set to Auxiliary, allowing it to operate in low-power settings.
So he’d seen the readings of Apollo 12 before… and knew what to do. And gave the recommendation, “set SCE to Aux”, which was passed up by the Flight Director and CAPCOM to Apollo 12. They obeyed the order, and what looked like a disaster in the making–the freaking spaceship was HIT BY LIGHTNING!–was averted, as telemetry was restored, and Apollo 12 went to the Moon without incident.
Let me just repeat that:
The spaceship was hit by lightning, and this guy knew exactly which switch to flip to fix it.
I think now that queens dead they should have her stuffed and put on display in Cairo for the next 150 years.
BLAZE REJECTED MY POST WOW LOL
We'll make sure at least 100k people see it for free then.
They should depict her family status and name.
Mum‐E
stop being funnier than me on my own post
full respect to the person from kotaku who wrote this and is 100% done with royalist bullshit
F. Douglas Brown
[ID: A poem titled "Make Out Sonnet":
The first time I saw two men kissing, I was six,
Living in 1970s L.A. My mom took care
Of an elderly woman who found herself in a fix
And moved into a complex of all men, bare
Chested men, with cutoff jeans and tinted glasses.
My mother's friend gave me chocolates that matched
Her skin - this must be heaven. These sons' asses
Peeked out beneath their shorts, but watched
Over her better than mom. Took donations for heat,
A sofa and a new wig - all changed her mood.
They even did her laundry. They did sweet
Better than honey. Did family better than blood.
And between duties, two men always off alone
So desire, like the dishes, could also get done.
End ID]
watching a video about this cargo ship that blew up in texas in the 40’s and it’s like . i know that with a lot of incidents especially older ones like this the reason that the safety standards were so shitty was because they literally did not know that these kinds of disasters COULD happen (and in many cases these disasters are what MADE the safety standards better) but sometimes you just learn about this shit and you think. how could all these people be so stupid
- cargo of the ship consisted of twine (flammable) peanuts (flammable, oily) and cotton (FLAMMABLE) from houston and POST WAR AMMUNITION (OH MY GOD) FROM CUBA
- additional cargo they were picking up in texas city was LOOSE BAGS OF AMMONIUM NITRATE that the dock workers described as being ANOMALOUSLY WARM UPON BEING LOADED INTO THE SHIP ??????
- small fire breaks out in cargo hold, instead of putting it out with water that could damage the cargo the captain decides to close all the hatches to try to make the cargo hold airtight and smother the fire (stupid but you can kind of understand how they got there)
- the heat of the trapped smoke in the cargo hold instead causes the aforementioned LOOSE BAGS OF AMMONIUM NITRATE to undergo a chemical reaction and turn into nitrous oxide, massively increasing the pressure inside of the airtight hold
- one of the hatch covers fails
- mfw all the pressure in the cargo hold is released at once causing an explosion that fucking levels everything in the port within 2000 feet
- mfw the shockwave shatters windows up to a hundred miles away
- mfw on-fire twine and peanuts and fucking grenades are raining down over texas city
- mfw some of the pieces of the ship got launched into the sky faster than the speed of sound
- mfw they found the ship’s anchor inside of a ten foot wide crater over a mile and a half away
- mfw this was one of the largest and most devastating non-nuclear explosions in world history
- mfw this could have been avoided if they’d just taken the L and put the fire out with water
also worth a mention: the SECOND boat that exploded in a very similar manner the next day which was an even more violent explosion, but less devastating because most of the port was. you know. already leveled and evacuated
someone running rescue and recovery after the FIRST boat exploded noticed that the second boat's cargo was on fire and reported it....and this just went. ignored. for several hours. until someone was like "oh shit better get this under control" and tried to move the boat to no avail and they just gave up and evacuated
next day it started raining glowing-hot metal boat chunks all over the city. AGAIN.
Today's problematic ships are the Grandcamp (first explosion) and High Flyer (second explosion).
Imagine you're a random Texan in this city and you're some distance away from all this and you're out gardening all morning and so you've got absolutely no context whatsoever and you suddenly hear this massive bang and then not too long later it starts raining burning peanuts and you're like
WHAT.
bits of burning twine start floating down from the sky to join them
and then a grenade.
and you're just
WHAT.
next day there's another bang and pieces of glowing metal start falling and you're just, okay, War of the Worlds is clearly no longer fiction, but . . . why peanuts?
hang on, I have to google something
WKFHDKSJWKF
I just wanted to let everybody know the Kissinger Death Tontine is a thing. idk when it's gonna happen, but it has to be within the next few years, right?
I tried to Blaze this and Tumblr denied it. I don't think it violates the community guidelines because I'm not advocating for anybody's death or encouraging hate because of any protected class. It's definitely tasteless and tacky, which is still very much allowed, so.
Anyways, I don't want to appeal it, so just help me spread this organically? 😘