on all levels , including physical , i am this

Girls call me jolly rancher cause i

melt in the backseat cupholder of your parents' 2001 Toyota Sienna and get you yelled at

Spooky Mingos

Spooky Mingos

this is so funny because you have all these happy nintendo characters and then there's dimitri fire emblem

He's babysitting

Yall hoes rlly be like “boohoo i hate being alone i cant stand the silence” its 2019 go get tinnitus like the rest of us

https://www.instagram.com/p/BgJQvFYBWG1/

IS YOUR CHILD TEXTING ABOUT INVERTEBRATES? KNOW THE SIGNS: 

lmao: love me an odonata

smh: show me your harvestman 

brb: bug rights, boys 

lol: lots of legs

mlm: moths loving moths

wlw: weevlis loving weevils 

A neighbors little kid came over for the fourth and she wanted to know how my record player worked and she picked out discipline by king crimson, let it play for a little bit and then went “do you have something nicer”

2019 is fucking saved 

Companion to:

can’t believe this is an actual screencap,, the vibes it radiates are revolting

dark breakfast club

please forget about me

[teleports myself inside of the chernobyl nuclear reactor mere inches away from the infamous elephants foot] oh cool they got a bean bag chair 

need that tweet line that is like the dude asking for a gf to record for the summer and a girl replies “sex tapes? hmu.” and he is just like “nah skate park, I don’t be having sex”